April 12, 2010

College decisions are in for most Vermont high school seniors

By Molly Walsh

Free Press Staff Writer

The e-mail that arrived from Harvard didn’t say congratulations in the heading. So 18-year-old Sidney Hilker assumed the notification was a rejection, and she prepared to dash off to her part-time job.

The senior at Champlain Valley Union High School had done her homework. She knew the odds are dismal of gaining admission to what many consider the crown prince of the Ivy League.

So when she opened the e-mail, Hilker called out to her family in surprise. “I was like, ‘Oh, my God, I got into Harvard.’ Then we cried a little bit, and I was late for work, so I had to go,” the Shelburne resident said.

For thousands of college-bound high school seniors across Vermont, the past 10 days have been marked by intense joy, disappointment and anxiety as universities have sent out admittance, rejection and wait-list decisions. Even though a significant number of students applies early-decision and avoids the regular-decision waiting game, the drama continues to be an annual spring ritual for most high school students.

It’s a long quest known as the college admissions process.

“It’s cliche, but I think the process, really, there’s not another opportunity to learn more about yourself,” Hilker said.

Rejection happens

Even top students such as Hilker experience rejection. She applied to 14 colleges, was admitted to six, wait-listed to one and rejected by the rest. The decisions, which she received via computer, seemed to alternate yes and no in a psychologically soothing way. Boston University wanted her, and offered a big scholarship. Wesleyan said no. Tufts and Duke said yes, please come; Georgetown and Yale said sorry, no room.

Hilker knew nothing was guaranteed, even for an ambitious student. “I made a really concerted effort not to become married to any of these schools for this reason,” she said.

In her case, the waiting game ended with a big prize. But that’s not the case for every student. Dealing with rejection is not easy, and for some students, it’s their first taste of the real, cruel world.

Longtime Burlington High School history teacher Jim Donoghue has done his share of consoling seniors over the years.

“One of the changes over the last 15, 20 years is an increasing sense of entitlement, and there are an awful lot of kids who have always felt that, because I try, and I give it my best, I should succeed. I’ve sometimes heard that life doesn’t work that way. Yeah, it’s a dreadful thing, but it’s also a good thing for them to sort of see that just because I want something doesn’t guarantee that I’ll get it,” Donoghue said.

To help seniors shrug off the disappointment, Donoghue for many years has invited students to post their college rejection letters on a wall in his classroom. This helped the students see they weren’t the only ones, and that the language in the letters was stock and similar — so perhaps the rejection wasn’t so personal after all.

The idea behind the wall was this, Donoghue said: “Don’t let someone who doesn’t really know you define you. And so by putting those letters up, it was statement of, ‘You can’t hurt me.’” In the end, most students wind up “happier than a pig in a wallow” at the schools they attend, even if it’s not a first choice, he’s observed.

Money matters

Unfortunately, the lurching economy is making it more difficult for some students.

“The other piece that gets worse, in today’s market, is what the financial-aid packet is going to look like. It’s, ‘Oh, I got into X college, but they aren’t going to give me any money,’” Donoghue said. “The financial aid package is just horrid.”

Burlington High School senior Patricia Trafton will attend New York University despite the fact that her financial-aid offer wasn’t as generous as she’d hoped for.

“I’ll have some pretty hefty loans, definitely,” said Trafton, 18. “Which puts, I guess, a bit of a damper on the excitement. You’ve got to kind of put that aside and be really pumped about going off to school.”

Worth the reach

Trafton’s journey to acceptance at NYU wasn’t all roses. She applied early decision to Columbia and was rejected — all the harder to take because it meant she had to go through a full application process to other schools. Trafton powered through and fared better in the regular-decision route, gaining admission to McGill, George Washington and NYU and being rejected by just Georgetown.

She and her classmates are starting to relax, she said: “I guess everyone’s breathed this huge sigh of relief. We’re done waiting, and everyone knows. You can sort of ask everyone, ‘What are you doing next year?’”

And as for dealing with rejection? “You kind of just have to accept it, because there’s nothing you can do about it,” she said. “Look at the other options you have. It’s not the end of the world. There’s always something else out there for you to do.”

Fear of rejection shouldn’t stop students from reaching for a dream school, said 18-year-old Ian Anderson, senior and valedictorian of his class at Stowe High School. He, too, has been admitted to Harvard and will race for the school’s alpine ski team. The opportunity comes after four years of hard work at school and a solid dose of rejection; he got into Boston College and Middlebury but was rejected from Stanford and wait-listed at Brown and Dartmouth.

Moral of the story: Don’t be afraid to try.

“I’m definitely glad I tried, because you never know what a school is looking for,” Anderson said. “A lot of it comes down to luck. ... Reach for where you want to go.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1280101&forum_id=1#14687040)