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If Big Ten Schools were European Countries
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 6:59 PM Author: Chestnut stage halford ILLINOIS: Greece
Once a powerhouse, now little more than an insignificant clan of people who talk funny and complain a lot.
INDIANA: Ireland
A very proud people who tend to overlook certain types bad behavior. Using the f-word repeatedly is acceptable.
IOWA: Ukraine
Detached from the rest of Europe and really should be part of Asia. Covered with corn fields. Appeared to be emerging as a regional power, but returned to mediocrity very quickly.
MICHIGAN: Germany
A rich history, tons of talent, but a tendency to employ leaders who are power-crazed, loud-mouthed lunatics who always seem to louse things up. Germany's citizens are always ready to tell you they're superior. When asked about recent history, they tend to get quiet quickly.
MICHIGAN STATE: Austria
Germany's slow, loud, self-conscious and far less accomplished neighbor.
MINNESOTA: Sweden
Liberal whack jobs covered in snow.
NORTHWESTERN: Netherlands
Citizens of other European countries (and the world) come here to get stoned and drunk, ravage the natives, then leave.
OHIO STATE: France
Pound for pound the most insufferable, arrogant pricks on the planet. Weak leaders who appear to be accomplices in their humiliating defeats. Holding their own against Germany at the moment, but everyone knows it's only a matter of time before the tanks are rolling again.
PENN STATE: United Kingdom
Used to run the world. Run by a beloved, geriatric figurehead who simply refuses to retire.
PURDUE: Norway
The secret to Norway's marginal success is that it's so boring, no one pays it any attention.
WISCONSIN: Poland
Filled with hulking pasty-white drunks with "ski" at the end of their last name. Looks tough, but easily rolled. Lots of jokes are made at their expense.
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 7:34 PM Author: appetizing chocolate business firm old irish cottage Funny attempt, but it's actually pretty bad. If anything, Wisconsin would be Germany. It fits so well. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9667400) |
Date: April 22nd, 2008 7:05 PM Author: Exhilarant bawdyhouse degenerate I like you. But you don't have a follow up to this post. Peaking early is sad condition. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9667230) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 7:07 PM Author: Chestnut stage halford SEC Teams as Middle Eastern Countries
ALABAMA: Saudi Arabia
Once a proud kingdom, torn up by fighting and surrounded by Iran and Iraq (see below), with an a$$hole in Al-Qaeda hell bent on bringing them down.
LSU: Iran
Current superpower in the region but it will all come crashing down because they have a highly functioning retard as a leader.
TENNESSEE: Iraq
Got a bunch of history but the country as a whole is going in the tank and they will kill themselves off before it's all over.
FLORIDA: Syria
Evil douchebags who will stoop to whatever level they need to win. No real history to speak of but thinks they are the cradle of civilization.
GEORGIA: Kuwait
Tons of riches and unrealized potential, but still vulnerable to Iraq.
AUBURN: Al Qaeda
No country, just a movement of disgruntled fanatics who live to blow up those who are more fortunate. No other goal in life than to bring down the House of Saudi Arabia. Terrorizing the Arabians for six years is the crowning achievement in their history. Signing day was a major setback to the movement. They'll be looking for a new leader soon.
ARKANSAS: Palestinian territories
No one really cares or worries about them unless they can be of some use (i.e. winning a battle once in a while against Iran that causes a bit of shake up in rankings)
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Qatar
Where the hell is Qatar?
OLE MISS: Afghanistan
Not much going for it, but hot women.
VANDERBILT: Israel
Just leave them alone for God's sake. What did they ever do to you?
KENTUCKY: Morocco
Not really part of the Middle East. Has other things to do than fight (or play football)
SOUTH CAROLINA: Libya
Has a charismatic leader in a land of nothingness. Will rattle his word but knows he doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to back it up with.
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 7:17 PM Author: Exhilarant bawdyhouse degenerate I stand corrected. The winning streak continues. Yet Florida as the so-called cradle of civilization? Is that the Miami plastic surgeons talking? Did the hanging chads find a political calling? Is there anyone under 30 in Florida, who is in this cradle? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9667302) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 8:35 PM Author: curious den Wow, you know nothing about the ME. I can't believe how much of a simpleton you must be (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9667736) |
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Date: May 5th, 2008 12:07 AM Author: Chestnut stage halford What's there to know which can't be learned from the back seat of a noisome NYC Taxi and going to a Camel Rape Crisis Center. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9735318) |
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Date: April 25th, 2008 2:54 PM Author: talented fortuitous meteor This is absolutely terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9683500) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 8:33 PM Author: saffron house really tough guy they'd be gay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9667726) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 2:14 AM Author: dashing site sandwich Have you ever actually been to Europe? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9669969) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 7:00 AM Author: saffron house really tough guy yup! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9670457) |
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Date: May 5th, 2008 12:08 AM Author: Chestnut stage halford Uh, yeah . . . apparently with greater comprehension that you. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9735323) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 11:46 PM Author: Cobalt laughsome sanctuary useless brakes The French may be arrogant pricks, but they live longer than we do, so they must be doing something right. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9669146) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 12:12 AM Author: Tan angry property it's all that red wine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9669323) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 10:35 AM Author: Soggy ticket booth toaster Subject: Actually, no Longevity in Mediteranean cultures is linked primarily to olive oil and seafood consumption. Actually, the French life expectancy is declining rapidly with the influx of demographically diverse people. Furthermore, quantity of life is not a good indicator of quality of life, have the French are alcholic pickles - they are so unhappy they disppise their fellow countrymen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9670873) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 11:58 AM Author: Cobalt laughsome sanctuary useless brakes Subject: are you trying to be cute? Hahaha, you're hilarious. A few flaws, I fear.
I never made any conjecture as to the causes of their superior longevity. All I said was that they live longer than us (check it fool): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy
Furthermore, I never said that their QUALITY of life is superior (although I'm confident that a survey of sorts might show that to be the case), so your pathetic retort regarding quality, while interesting, fails to spark my interest.
Lastly, do you have any evidence that they are unhappy and despise their countryman, or do you expect me to believe you? According to this, France is only one step below holy America.
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/lif_hap_net-lifestyle-happiness-net Feeling dumb yet?
Please, please, as I have asked before, stop wasting my time with your sub par conversation skills. I always end up feeling sorry for you. |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 6:25 AM Author: Chestnut stage halford Dude, your syntax as well as your awkward and childish confrontational approach to composition demonstrate eerie similarities to Cho Seung Hui. Your writing sounds like you are translating a confused series of foreign idioms into a variety of English learned only at inner-city night school ESL courses which apparently you took between your three shifts at your pop's restaurant, fruit-stand or laundry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9676683) |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 5:03 PM Author: Cobalt laughsome sanctuary useless brakes I don't think this conversation concerns you. If you would like to join, feel free, but please keep your comments on topic. Thanks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9678736) |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 5:08 PM Author: Cobalt laughsome sanctuary useless brakes Oh, and regarding my "syntax", unlike you, I'm not trying to impress anyone. I made my point, and I made it well. For future reference, perhaps taking question with the subject matter of one's comment rather than it's construction might make you sound less like a pretentious yutz. Just a suggestion. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9678753) |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 5:13 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle khaki therapy nursing home Well put. And much more so than sfaggot has attempted to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9678776) |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 5:38 PM Author: Cobalt laughsome sanctuary useless brakes Have I offended you in the past, or are you just ornery? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9678916) |
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Date: April 24th, 2008 6:44 AM Author: bateful brass newt Subject: That's Right I'm Italian and I have crabs, or eat crabs, or eat my own crabs..... um what were we discussing again? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9676700) |
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Date: April 23rd, 2008 5:21 PM Author: saffron house really tough guy probably used to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=802553&forum_id=1#9673208) |