Why It Might Be Better to Ghost.

MAV

NOV 07, 2025

A couple of years ago, I went on a date with this gorgeous woman, where we clicked, had fun, and really just got along great when I met her at a young professional mixer.

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Her hair was deep red, the kind that catches light like it’s been set on fire. Curves that spoke fluent temptation. A smile that disarmed you before you even knew you’d surrendered. Women glanced over with half-admiration, half-envy as I spoke to her. It was primal.

She leaned in when I spoke, and I swear the room started to blur. Every gesture, every glance was deliberate. I’ll be honest here, gents, I almost lost my frame. She was eye fucking me the whole conversation.

Eventually, I got her number and we were texting back and forth for about a week until our first date. It was addictive but also foolish. I was breaking my own rules cause I was a little infatuated, being completely honest here. Mistakes are how we learn, right?

The first date came, and ohhhh boy.

She revealed a few things…

She was once an OnlyFans model

She filmed multiple porn scenes on her camera

Nudes and all the rest

She filmed threesomes on camera

Her boyfriend came up with the idea

But don’t worry, she assured me that she would get tested before we had sex.

Oh thanks? I guess?

She brought honesty to the table. I didn’t know it came with a porn director’s cut. It wasn’t the past that haunted me; it was how casually she served it, like she tripped, fell on someone's penis, and accidentally filmed it.

The next day, this is how the conversation went down.

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A classic case of men not being able to reject women without the woman being a rational adult for 5 seconds, despite my best efforts, I respectfully stated I no longer wished to date her. I wish she could have been mature and actually taken the rejection like a rational human, and not an annoying case of projection and zero ownership of the choices she made.

Reject a man, he drinks whiskey and rethinks his haircut. Reject a woman, and she starts an internal TED Talk about how “men can’t handle strong women.” Nah, love, I just don’t negotiate with bastardized delusion.

She told me I lacked empathy.

Woman, I just sat through a 45-minute lecture about your spiritual awakening through OnlyFans and filming a gangbang cause you wanted to feel free. I earned a diploma in empathy.

Fuck me, I’d rather shave my head with a cheese grater in an acid rainstorm than sit through another conversation about “healing the feminine” while getting bummed.

Also, what a weird excuse.

“I’m a completely different person”.

I tried to be nice to her, but I don’t give a fuck if you’re different now.

You gave some dirty bastard a rim job on camera and sold it for money cause you had no self-control to make the right decisions, and somehow I’m the insecure one?

What crack does she smoke daily? I gotta know.

There are literally billions of women who grow up as teenagers, 20-somethings, all the way to their 60s+ and never do porn.

It’s not that painfully hard not to do. You really lack that much character and external pride that you would sell an intimate moment for money?

Impulse is easy. Integrity is earned.

I learned this at a young age, and I refuse to date someone who simply hasn’t. Self-control isn’t suppression; it’s selecting what deserves to shape your legacy, so what kind of fucking idiot do I look like dating someone who did the complete opposite of the life choices I made?

Seriously? What kind of bozo does she take me for?

What bothered me more was the lack of accountability for the decisions she made and the almost gaslighting effect of her trying to get me to accept the decisions she chose to make, which at this point was about as useful as a sermon at a strip club.

These are things you gotta be careful with, fellas.

Those who cannot own their past will rewrite yours to escape it. Accountability is outsourced to the people we try to make responsible for our regret. When someone you barely know demands acceptance but rejects ownership, what they want goes deeper than grace. What they’re truly after is narrative control.

Empathy can understand, but it should never be manipulated into submission. She wanted to control the outcome of the rejection until she realized she couldn’t.

Look, women can do OnlyFans and porn till the cows come home. Be empowered to share your body with the world, not my monkeys or my circus. But don’t ever in your life think we have to be obliged to date you.

So Let’s Break It Down Rationally.

At the beginning, I tried to be—at least initially— honest, but it gradually shifted into emotional defensiveness and personal projection, some of which I could tell there was some other idiot friend guiding her on what to text, women rarely text alone. Here’s a breakdown and an objective analysis of what this conversation means, who was right or wrong, and where it fell apart.

Learn to Read Between The Lines (Psychologically & Emotionally)

I expressed a boundary based on my personal comfort level. My message wasn’t accusatory; it was respectful, measured, and emotionally mature. I could have gone wayyyy off, but I didn’t want her to feel shitty. I acknowledged her honesty, shared my own emotional limits, and made it clear this wasn’t about blame but about alignment.

Anna initially responded with confusion and disappointment, which is totally understandable. But rather than staying in curiosity or vulnerability, she shifted into this very high school-like childish and petulant defensiveness, interpreting my boundary as a judgment of her worth or a comparison to someone else. Which is clearly an insecurity, cause deep down she knows what she did was wrong.

I clarified my stance again with empathy, nuance, and emotional intelligence. I legit tried not to be cruel, dismissive, or punitive. I owned my feelings and choices, without invalidating hers.

Anna’s next message, however, escalated. She started to get bitchy, tried to get me to sink to her level, and turned my boundary into a personal attack, labeling my emotional limits as “insecurities” and suggesting I’m not different from other men. This is where the conversation shifted from honest discourse to projection and blame, and her behaving like a child who spits their binky out. A man’s peace will always offend a woman addicted to drama, primarily when he doesn’t chase her into the fire.

My final responses remained civil, though her tone had turned bitter. I exited gracefully. I will no longer allow myself to be drowned in the mud with pigs.

Arguing with a woman you rejected is a fool’s errand you should never have time for. She might call it cruelty when you walk away, but mercy when you stay and suffer; choose neither.

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✅ Who Was Right?

I was right to set my boundary.

I was right not to escalate anything further, no sex, no further dates, nothing.

Yeah bitch, I was right. If you don’t like that idea. You can go get herpes from her.

Look 5 years before that, maybe. But after a while, men need and should seek women who have made better decisions in their lives.

Why the fuck would I ever date a pornstar? Sorry, “ex” pornstar. Never wrestle in the dirt with someone who’s mad you stayed clean; she’ll only blame you for the mess she made.

I’ve never fucked, been recorded, or recorded anything sexual, so what kind of an idiot do I look like if I do? I’ve never even sent a dick pic. Cause I know those things will always come back to chomp you right on the arse.

I tried to be nice to the chick even though it was ONE FUCKING DATE.

One.

How on earth did she get sprung so quickly? I’m not exactly the “Rizz Master General'“ over here.

I communicated it honestly, without shame or disrespect. Boundaries are reflections of what someone is ready for. But all she could do was respond like a lil baby who didn’t get their way.

I didn’t even insult her past (Lord knows I could have). I simply acknowledged that it didn’t align with what I was looking for right now.

Just remember, a grounded man, you don’t owe comfort to someone’s past just because it’s offended by your future. Your standard isn’t an insult; it’s a sign you’re no longer begging to be chosen. Trust me, they can’t stand that.

❌ Who Was in the Wrong?

Anna was wrong in how she handled the rejection.

I was in the wrong for showing up to the date without vetting her, and to be honest, looking back, less would have been more in my text responses.

I overexplained.

Rather than acknowledging my position or expressing disappointment maturely, she invalidated my emotions by calling them “insecurities,” and framed my honest boundary as weakness. She interpreted my choice as a character flaw rather than a difference in compatibility. A lot of women will try this tactic cause they’re simply not used to rejection, especially the attractive ones.

The old classic when women need to look good and try to win an argument.

They try to shame you.

They use passive insults.

They try to guilt you

And they have to be right.

Go back and reread the texts; she hit every point on cue, that’s why I just ended with “you’re probably right”. Not cause I believed her, but cause I just wanted to end this childish text thread. That’s what she needed to hear. “She’s right”. When clarity meets deflection, the exit isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom disguised as restraint. I could have verbally gone all the way in as a response. But I wasn’t gonna go there. A mature man knows when the argument is no longer about truth, but about theatrics, and he leaves the stage. Don’t ever fall for the trap and go right into her production.

She really said, “By all means, take your exit. The door was never locked”.

I just told you we’re done. The exit was already taken, I was just trying to be nice about it you silly bint. But still she had to pull her masculine out and try to push me down to her level.

There are moments in life where saying less isn’t avoidance—it’s the highest form of control.

MOST Women Can’t Take Rejection

They’re too used to giving it to a point where if they get told no after ONE fucking date they act like you just killed their cat. I could have just slept with her and then ghosted, but that’s just not who I am.

For most women, when someone is used to being worshipped, even indifference feels like betrayal. Society kisses their ass to a point where a lot of women really think they’re gods gift, perpetual victims and can do nothing wrong. I never broke her emotionally with my rejection—I just showed her where she already cracked. The loudest outrage often comes from those most addicted to ease; discomfort, to them, feels like injustice.

This is why I say ‘ghost’ after a first date, or just say there was no chemistry.

If you tell the truth, they try to convince you otherwise, and then try to make you feel guilty for telling them you don’t want to see them anymore. Cause it rarely happens to them. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

So don’t. No good has ever come from my being honest with women, despite their begging me for honesty.

It’s a weird paradigm when it comes to dating. Honesty is only a virtue until it’s aimed at someone’s ego. Because in my experience, most women crave the truth until it threatens the story they’ve told themselves along with social media disingenuous ass kissing for her merely being attractive and existing.

You’re called honest when they like your answer, and heartless when they don’t. The modern clown world is obsessed with feelings, so now truth becomes the enemy of comfort.

Her past doesn’t make her a bad person; I never insinuated that over text. But my discomfort with certain experiences doesn’t make me weak either. Women want to shame men into dating OF girls and pornstars so bad, but we ain’t going for it. Sorry.

I’m just honest with myself, which is more than I can say for her. I was willing to own my limitations. She wasn’t willing to accept that her past, while no longer current, might still be something a partner has their god given right to consider.

She’s gonna struggle with this unless she accepts that, because the decisions she’s made have eliminated 50% of the possible partners she could have had.

This wasn’t a case of right vs. wrong values—it was a case of one person honoring their limits and the other person taking that personally.

A section for some of you, blissfully unaware crayon-eaters.

Many of you who read this for some odd reason will stand up for this woman, ignore all the good points I made, and give some nonsensical ad hominem attack (Suck my dick BTW). So this is for you fuckers who have at least been smart enough to make it this far :)

“Mav you’re judgmental and shaming.”

Yes, I am. (Read that again)

My stance is moralistic and “slut-shaming,” because I have morals. (Read that again, too)

Yes, people deserve to outgrow past mistakes. But my past mistakes were getting into a few fights, swearing at my parents as a teenager, and getting kicked out of private school. Not sucking dick on camera. If I label or reject someone for making porn, it’s not a double standard, as if I got my dick sucked on camera for money, I’m not expected the preacher’s daughter to want to marry me.

“People can change.”

Change all you like.

But there are billions of women who have found more talented ways to make money. That’s who I want.

This is the “redemption” argument that someone’s past (OnlyFans, sex work, etc.) doesn’t define who they are today. They’ll say everyone deserves a second chance and that maturity means seeing “who someone is now,” not “what they used to do.”

You’re right, everyone does deserve a second chance.

Doesn’t mean I’m obligated to date them, though.

You can marry someone who sold their coochie online for a couple of bucks, but it ain’t gonna be.

“You’re insecure or threatened.”

Detractors often accuse men with strong boundaries of being “afraid of strong women” or “insecure about female sexuality.”

Discerning it as a weakness, a psychological inversion that shifts moral blame. It’s so overused as a shaming tactic that it’s lost any effect on anyone.

So keep tossing that insult out, and I’ll keep ignoring it.

“It’s hypocritical because men consume that content.”

This one argues that men “create the demand” for adult content, so criticizing the women who supply it is hypocritical.

True, but I never have and never will fund anyone's OnlyFans. So it’s not even applicable to me and millions of others who simply exercise better wisdom.

“It’s misogynistic or outdated.”

I know some of you think the article reinforces patriarchal standards and restricts women’s sexual freedom, oddly equating my discernment with oppression.

So you’re dumb enough to believe that if a man used his freedom of choice to reject someone, somehow they’re oppressed? You might think “it’s just sex,” and any emotional or moral filter beyond that is sexist.

You’re free to think that way, I’m free to not date women who do.

So What Does This Mean For Men?

You gotta ask the right questions. I failed to ask if she had done OnlyFans cause I just simply didn’t consider that so many women apparently have. The prettiest ones have the darkest digital footprints, and the receipts are forever. Don’t let a filter fool you into financing someone’s “phase.”

I acted with emotional maturity, clarity, and fairness. So should you, but even if you do, they’ll still try to be petty, so maybe you should just ghost.

She responded with emotional reactivity, projection, and blame.

And sometimes, how people handle rejection reveals far more than the rejection itself. It exposes the fragile child-like creature inhabiting that body. You find out who’s built for silence and who needs validation like oxygen.

You must, and I mean you must, ask the right questions to unearth who some of these women are. What they stand for and the measure of their true character. These are the future mothers of your children. I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than marry a woman who has done porn.

Get better at asking good questions! Men who ask shallow questions dig their own grave.

Depth of character is revealed only to those who bother to seek it. Ask them the hard questions! The woman you date is a mirror of the future you’ll raise. Before you plant a seed, you gotta till, aerate, and test the soil.

There are millions of good women out there. There are so many wonderful, amazing, and feminine women, I promise you this.

But they’re getting harder to find.

You only find them when you learn how to discern quickly and concisely, and you have the best understanding of yourself.

Discernment is about knowing yourself deeply enough to know what disqualifies them. The moment you stop chasing what flatters you is the moment you start attracting what fortifies you. Discernment is born from unfortunate experiences; you only earn it after you’ve crawled through enough pretty lies to spot the rot beneath the perfume.

Any man worth his salt who truly knows himself doesn’t waste time in the wrong rooms; he feels when the energy is off and exits without apology.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5796665&forum_id=2:#49423002)