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what's the WORST post-biglaw employment you've heard of?

other than moar biglaw, of course
jet-lagged cracking travel guidebook
  05/31/12
summon tmf
dark know-it-all crackhouse liquid oxygen
  05/31/12
...
Iridescent disturbing senate kitty cat
  05/31/12
i've heard of some doods becoming ambulance chasers.
snowy legend idea he suggested
  05/31/12
wow
jet-lagged cracking travel guidebook
  05/31/12
better than doc review. at least there's upside in contingen...
beady-eyed rehab
  06/05/12
biglaw breaks a lot of very smart, talented people, it is sa...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
see, i'm starting to think they're are other ways to success...
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
is this pumo fellow COA clerk
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
nffi
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
no that's me
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
yeah, fair. i'm no coa clerk
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
tragic
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
hey, i tried not that hard. i suck pretty bad though
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
i have a funny story about two coa clerks i know though. bas...
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
fair to say that about 75% of COA clerks and YLS grads bail ...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
where do we go when we bail; why haven't you
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
i did consider it, i was planning on it, i was jsut gonna cl...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
why does the partner want a law review article? what do less...
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
partner wants his name on the article so he looks scholarly ...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
if i don't get dedicated appellate, though, i'll still get l...
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
yeah. you can probably do the same path I did (on accident)...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
why not just start out at the lower tier mega firm-firm and ...
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
the greatest benefit of working at a super prestigious firm ...
offensive ladyboy azn
  05/31/12
why can't people at a bottom tier amlaw 100 tell a good argu...
Electric Office Mother
  05/31/12
i used to think that after a certain minimum level of intell...
offensive ladyboy azn
  06/01/12
I guess this doesn't surprise me. I spent two summers intern...
Electric Office Mother
  06/01/12
Just to be clear, the advice you have provided is spot on. I...
Emerald comical scourge upon the earth black woman
  06/05/12
man, 999/1000 xoxo posts are a complete waste of time, but h...
twisted yellow pervert
  05/31/12
one guy is looking for legit appellate--robbins russell or w...
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
The obvious answer is unemployed/living at home with parents...
Vermilion famous landscape painting
  05/31/12
doc review or being a TMF
Bearded spot
  05/31/12
...
Iridescent disturbing senate kitty cat
  05/31/12
i've been meaning to ask you mnd, can i rent out tmf's parki...
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
please pass request along to tmf
Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage
  05/31/12
Doc review, but hey, I made a 100k doing it.
hairraiser mauve gas station
  06/01/12
Have you found it to be the "kiss of death" on you...
Drunken Idiot
  06/01/12
describe said gig....in a large city?
Lascivious Round Eye
  06/05/12
doc review, of course, which is worse than shitlaw
beady-eyed rehab
  06/05/12


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Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 10:53 PM
Author: jet-lagged cracking travel guidebook

other than moar biglaw, of course

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802729)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 10:54 PM
Author: dark know-it-all crackhouse liquid oxygen

summon tmf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802732)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:05 PM
Author: Iridescent disturbing senate kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802818)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 10:55 PM
Author: snowy legend idea he suggested

i've heard of some doods becoming ambulance chasers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802736)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:04 PM
Author: jet-lagged cracking travel guidebook

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802814)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 5th, 2012 1:25 AM
Author: beady-eyed rehab

better than doc review. at least there's upside in contingency cases

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20827851)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:05 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

biglaw breaks a lot of very smart, talented people, it is sad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802816)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:05 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

see, i'm starting to think they're are other ways to success

http://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960584&mc=9&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802820)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:06 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

is this pumo fellow COA clerk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802828)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:07 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

nffi

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802843)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:10 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

no that's me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802859)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:12 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

yeah, fair. i'm no coa clerk

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802874)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:12 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

tragic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802880)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:16 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

hey, i tried not that hard. i suck pretty bad though

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802921)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:17 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

i have a funny story about two coa clerks i know though. basically both decided they didn't need to put up with biglaw shit and left. i admire them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802934)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:19 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

fair to say that about 75% of COA clerks and YLS grads bail on biglaw after a few years

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802943)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:20 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

where do we go when we bail; why haven't you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802951)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:25 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

i did consider it, i was planning on it, i was jsut gonna clerk again and then do whatever, but meandered into a biglaw job that pays market, is really easy and the partner said to me "just bill 1500 hours a year and write a law review article."

COA clerks often bail because they go to hypercompetitive superprestigious firms where the expectations can never be met and good organizers from T14 schools with more common sense dominate the case management skills and the SCOTUS/FEEDER clerks dominate the brief writing.

These COA clerks usually say, fuck this, and go to boutiques or AUSA or in house or teach or whatever. Most would never consider going to a low tier vault firm like the one I am at.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802998)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:27 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

why does the partner want a law review article? what do lesser coa clerks end up doing, if it's neither case management nor brief writing? just shit work?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803014)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:33 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

partner wants his name on the article so he looks scholarly and he thinks it helps with bus dev.

coa clerks do both, like any other associate at these firms. the problem is that the guys who did not clerk and graduated top of their class at USC are often really fucking good at case management, staying on top of shit, navigating the biglaw firm, and are also good enough at brief writing. some smart COA clerks are just too smart for their own good and lack common sense and are poor at case management and poor at writing briefs in the way a partner wants them to be written. and up to a certain level brief writing is all the same, no one can tell. a lot of these COA clerks and YLS grads just dont have the gunner grinder striver mentality necessary to do what it takes to succeed in biglaw. a large part of working at these super prestigious firms is carefully navigating through a minefield of vicious partners, bounced filings, typos, missed deadlines, bad first impressions, etc.

the really sharp super geniuses though can bang out briefs in no time and make them sing and all that shit and are just clearly better than anyone else's stuff. these people are very rare though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803064)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:36 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

if i don't get dedicated appellate, though, i'll still get lots of chances to write briefs in general lit?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803094)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:40 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

yeah. you can probably do the same path I did (on accident) which is hang in there at a prestigious firm then lateral down to a lower tier mega-firm firm where u are the egghead brief writer type. from there u can market yourself to partners in all the various offices and offer your services as a briefwriting bro. i actually prefer writing motions to dismiss etc over appellate briefs because most of my appellate briefs involve copying and pasting the district court's order and our own briefing before the court, and is pretty dull.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803141)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:45 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

why not just start out at the lower tier mega firm-firm and be the resident egghead from day one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803202)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:53 PM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

the greatest benefit of working at a super prestigious firm if u can get one is that you will learn a ton. i did. about case management, discovery, about writing, about how to approach a problem in a case, just a billion different things, but writing too. people will shit all over your briefs and redline the fuck out of them and explain why they changed a sentence or whatever, and just really make u a better brief writer. you need to learn that, because it is not taught in law school and not something you learn clerking (bench memos and opinions are totally different style of writing).

you learn how much time to spend on certain arguments, structure, what not to say, what works with partners and what doesn't, the art of intros, etc... just a lot of stuff that isn't necessarily intellectual but part of the art of writing a good brief. for example, once a partner gave me back comments and said "This introduction SUCKS. This is why . . . . and this is what you do instead ...." And another time he called and screamed at me saying "why did you put this in the declaration instead of that? Stupid, the court will notice, the opposing will notice and this will fuck us." Small anecdotes but hopefully you get the picture.

if you have westlaw, look up a motion to dismiss written by Munger Tolles and compare it to one written by Sheppard Mullin on the same topic and you will get a sense for what I mean.

anyway, you need to learn all that stuff before you make your move over to the bottom tier amlaw 100 firm because u will lose all learning, u will basically stagnate in terms of writing skills. you wont learn shit. if you go there as a first year, you will learn bad habits and your briefs will look as shitty as everyone else's and you won't stand out. to be fair, at the bottom tier mega firm people often cant recognize quality of argument, or wont get it, but they usually are able to see that a brief is well-structured and not full of run on sentences and pointless clunky rhethoric in a way they are not used to seeing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803312)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:55 PM
Author: Electric Office Mother

why can't people at a bottom tier amlaw 100 tell a good argument from a bad one?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803334)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2012 12:04 AM
Author: offensive ladyboy azn

i used to think that after a certain minimum level of intelligence it is really hard to tell any difference at all in legal reasoning skills for biglaw purposes until you meet those tippity top genius types. but a lot of people just miss the boat for whatever reason, idk what it is, but like, they cant understand that the merits is different issue than the minimal article III standing inquiry, or that looking at a privilege log saying x sent letter to y doesnt mean y read x and you cant draw a negative inference, etc.. just off top of my head. there are even more egregious examples but hopefully u get the picture. often times it doesnt matter, particularly in fed ct, b/c the clerks and judge usually come to the right decision as long as u colorably raise the argument.

other things are like, saying shit that is dismissive of the court's prior ruling, making nearly baseless motions, making baseless arguments that cause you to lose credibility with the judge, getting too hot with ad hominems in a motion you write the first time before judge in new case, etc...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803439)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2012 12:25 AM
Author: Electric Office Mother

I guess this doesn't surprise me. I spent two summers interning for coa judges and I read maybe 2 good briefs in that span, one of which was written by sidley's second best appellate lawyer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803614)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 5th, 2012 1:11 AM
Author: Emerald comical scourge upon the earth black woman

Just to be clear, the advice you have provided is spot on. I'm one of the intellectual slackers, and did great just writing briefs and providing innovative arguments, won a motion to dismiss etc. however I'm horrible at case management and just got posted with a partner who is asbergers dumb and smart, which is horrible. The dude is basically barely able to comprehend how bad he is at communicating to the court, but he loves running down obscure shit just for the hell of it. He will be the end of me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20827747)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:43 PM
Author: twisted yellow pervert

man, 999/1000 xoxo posts are a complete waste of time, but hten there's that 1 out of a thousand that speak some real shit. thanks brother.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803181)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:21 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

one guy is looking for legit appellate--robbins russell or whatever--and won't do anything else. his firm is aware that he is looking. the other went to a dc d. ct. after being at ___, coming from 9th circuit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20802959)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:44 PM
Author: Vermilion famous landscape painting

The obvious answer is unemployed/living at home with parents.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803193)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:46 PM
Author: Bearded spot

doc review or being a TMF

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803212)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:48 PM
Author: Iridescent disturbing senate kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803244)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:48 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

i've been meaning to ask you mnd, can i rent out tmf's parking garage space and live there for a few weeks?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803245)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 31st, 2012 11:51 PM
Author: Sepia learning disabled stead old irish cottage

please pass request along to tmf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803273)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2012 12:15 AM
Author: hairraiser mauve gas station

Doc review, but hey, I made a 100k doing it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803545)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2012 12:16 AM
Author: Drunken Idiot

Have you found it to be the "kiss of death" on your resume?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20803549)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 5th, 2012 1:25 AM
Author: Lascivious Round Eye

describe said gig....in a large city?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20827854)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 5th, 2012 1:25 AM
Author: beady-eyed rehab

doc review, of course, which is worse than shitlaw

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1960955&forum_id=2#20827859)