Maybe the best thing to do is get a gig in admissions at an elite school. That way you're qualified to do counseling because you know what these schools truly look for in an applicant.
I talked to someone who was a college counselor who had a few application WTF/LOL stories. One time a girl sent in a box via fed ex instead of an essay. When you opened it up, there was a picture of her inside and an audio track began playing of her reading her personal statement out loud. Another incident involved a girl who was pretty much an auto-admit candidate with scholly. Unfortunately her personal statement was about how she had a pet parrot she loved so much that she would even bring it in the shower with her.