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ITT: I tell you the tale of my encounter with a homeless nigress
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Date: October 18th, 2009 11:57 PM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
She approached me on the street today and wasted no time in scamming me; she immediately began telling me a sob story about running away from her husband at last at last after 18 abusive years - Lord A'Mercy! - and just needing enough fare to take the bus down to the nearest homeless shelter...but oh Lawd, didn't she have five kids (in later iterations it gradually morphed into six somehow) waiting for her there already, and if I couldn't just spare - what was it, $3 a head? - out of the kindness of my blessed heart.
She pointed to her scarred face and wept openly and she gnashed her gums together and wailed; it would have been an Oscary worthy performance if she had thought to wear gloves to cover up the prominent crackpipe burns that blackened each of her fingertips, rudely drawing attention to themselves like drops of blood splattered upon a white tablecloth with every wild gesticulation she made.
She ended her story by promising to give me her wedding ring if I could only spare those few, precious dollars that would buy her that golden ticket to freedom. Then, her burning eyes staring intently into my face from deep within their sallow, sunken sockets, she must have seen the tell-tale hint of skepticism flit across my face; more - I suspect she saw the slightest hint of joy crinkle itself into a smirk as I stared down at this poor, shameless black bitch cowering before the very white devil that she might have slaved under in a different time, only to beg for pocket pittance to feed the new white demon master that she now served. She saw it, and she knew.
"I don't expect you to understand cause you white and you probably think I'm just black and schemin' on you - "
I cut her off with a wide smile. "You're right," I said. "That's exactly what I think."
She was stunned - she had cleary never dreamed that she might be met at last with pure, unadulterated honesty when she finally showed her hand and put it all out on the table.
"You racist!"
My smile grew even broader as I leaned in, close to her withered and weathered visage as I could stand to force myself.
"You're right again...Nigger."
I turned and walked away. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:02 AM Author: Chrome chapel dingle berry "before the white devil"
To be fair,
flame |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:04 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
I was going to make this Indian themed and end with a "What can Brown do for you?" punchline but I decided against it.
Incidentally this actually happened. |
Date: October 19th, 2009 12:16 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025301) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:22 AM Author: brass lascivious parlor Should read:
"To be fair, you're right again." ... "Nigger." |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:24 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
ty good stylistic call, edited |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:30 AM Author: brass lascivious parlor I also meant you should insert the 'tbf' into the sentence. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025484) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:32 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
Naw man I want to maintain the scrupulous accuracy of the dialogue |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:26 AM Author: mahogany sandwich lay 180 heartwarming story. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025431) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:28 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
thx man that means a lot
this actually happened today btw |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:28 AM Author: Chartreuse masturbator this didn't happen, and you are ASIAN (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025455) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:32 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
wrong on both |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:31 AM Author: demanding rigpig base 180.
If it actually happened (as you claim), 180 + 3.75 GPA from a well-regarded engineering program. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:32 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
thx man |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:33 AM Author: demanding rigpig base (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025536) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:37 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
I'm not actually remembering that one, but I will go ahead and take the credit for that sly reference. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:40 AM Author: demanding rigpig base The meme? Picture this scene:
(In a thread entitled "Chances at OCI?")
,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,..,, poasts: "Top 15% at MVP, no LR."
MOARDONGSPLZ replies: "YOUR FUCKED" |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:40 AM Author: Topaz know-it-all party of the first part You've come pretty far as a poaster. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025613) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:41 AM Author: stirring lemon stag film She's only like that because of social conditions. If she had the same upbringing and resources as you, she'd be just as successful if not more so. Your actions betray your jealousy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025634) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:45 AM Author: Cheese-eating church building are you serious? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025694) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:47 AM Author: stirring lemon stag film Yes, why wouldn't I be? There's no proof of a racial IQ gap and disparities can be attributed to the inferior resources found in inner cities. I can't believe people are still denying this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025714) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:48 AM Author: demanding rigpig base Subtle. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025723) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:48 AM Author: stirring lemon stag film Are you denying this incontrovertible fact? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025729) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 2:44 AM Author: metal kink-friendly chad I'm liking this schtick. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13026734) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:44 AM Author: Cheese-eating church building "crackpipe burns that blackened her fingers"
before anyone else says this...
how can you tell if a nigger has had blackened fingers? |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:50 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
The bottom of their hands is white (because everyone has a little bit of good in them)
PS - aren't you black? |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:50 AM Author: Cheese-eating church building "PS - aren't you black?"
Yes. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 1:00 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
Are you the black atheist republican?
PS what do you think of this story man |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 1:09 AM Author: Cheese-eating church building "Are you the black atheist republican?"
Yes.
"PS what do you think of this story man"
I don't object at all to what you did. When I was younger and more naive, I was conned by one of these motherfuckers. These fucking bums need to learn a lesson and take some pointers from Japanese bums who are too proud to ask for a handout and just sit there and look at you instead.
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Date: October 19th, 2009 1:32 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
180 man
I hate being scammed, but I really hate it when some ethnic fuck blatantly pulls out the race card on me and tries to shame me into buying his/her bullshit. If I'm not handing money to my "white brothers" when they conveniently call out for solidarity from the gutter, I'm sure as shit not gonna give a good goddamn red cent to some equally worthless minority just because they couldn't catch a cab in Times Square after the sun sets and I could. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:45 AM Author: Maize Heaven Not keen on this: "announcing themselves with each and every wild gesticulation like drops of blood splattered upon a white tablecloth."
Brings to mind that Samuel Johnson quote:
"Where ever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out." |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:50 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
You've given me something to think about, ty |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:52 AM Author: Maize Heaven I'm also not sure what you mean by the simile - do drops of blood on a white tablecloth "announce themselves"? Maybe metaphorically, but then you've got a double-metaphor. And blood on white is an awfully strong image - were the pipe burns really that pronounced?
Edit: If I didn't think you had the potential I wouldn't bother. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 12:59 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap To be fair,
ty
I was really just writing this down pretty quickly and reaching for the most vivid metaphor I could think of that evoked a really stark juxtaposition of two disparate colors; the pipe burns were a deep midnight black and she herself was only a light auburn; her palms were almost pink. It was a pretty striking effect. |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 1:00 AM Author: Maize Heaven yeah man it's really pretty damn good for something pulled out of your ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13025901) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 1:12 AM Author: vibrant address puppy you forgot to mention how you were saying all this to her while sitting in your mazda miata. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13026034) |
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Date: October 19th, 2009 2:47 AM Author: metal kink-friendly chad 180.
You should write a novel about a racist serial killer in Detroit. |
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Date: January 14th, 2012 4:58 PM Author: well-lubricated bat shit crazy love of her life 180^180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19778059) |
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Date: January 14th, 2012 5:21 PM Author: Ruddy vivacious orchestra pit Nah it would be non fiction (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19778201) |
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Date: October 20th, 2009 1:04 AM Author: pearly range mad-dog skullcap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#13034637) |
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Date: January 13th, 2012 3:45 PM Author: misunderstood violet shrine halford (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19773945) |
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Date: January 13th, 2012 3:07 PM Author: sadistic idiotic boltzmann cuckold (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19773791) |
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Date: January 14th, 2012 2:22 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle theater stage http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1851098&mc=6&forum_id=2
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Date: January 13th, 2012 3:12 PM Author: Cream glittery market background story Ive dealt with this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19773818) |
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Date: January 14th, 2012 2:29 PM Author: mint unholy gas station sup moonshine hillbilly? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1114594&forum_id=2#19777589) |