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Breaking point: Threw a big turd at a nigger today
| 180 hilarious dilemma | 03/01/05 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 1st, 2005 4:27 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I just couldn't take it anymore. Every day last week on my way home there was this obnoxious nigger bitch with a huge ass stuffed into tight jeans and a puffy jacket on a corner I pass. Every day she would start to waddle her simian ass across the street after the light turned green, then stare at traffic as she slowly mosey'ed across. Yesterday this bitch decided to to stop half way across, turn around, and start shouting something to this other cunt across the street with a triple baby stroller and three little nigs. I had had enough.
Today I launched my plan. I got Sbarro pizza to go for lunch. This provided me with a cardboard 'to go' pizza box that I converted into a turd containment vehicle. I drank a huge starbucks venti house coffee in about fifty seconds, burning the shit out of my tounge doing so. The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect. I went into the bathroom with my sbarro box, squatted over it, and hatched a mean, stinky, mullato log dead center (covering one errant pepperoni). I also stole a spatula from the office kitchen, as I did not want to soil my hands with feces during my revenge.
I left work. I slunk through traffic like a lion in the amber grass, stalking my monkey prey. I planned to scoop up my log missle with the spatula and whip it with wrist action as fast as andre agassi's. Unfortunately, I am right handed, so I knew I would have to whip that motherfucker with my left hand out my driver's side window and hope for the best.
I spotted the bitch on the corner. She wasn't crossing, but she was eating. She had a plate of chicken wings....she was jamming one after another into her mouth, sucking off the meat, and throwing the chicken bone on the ground. It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place. She then licked her greasy fingers with her big negroid lips and yelled something to the negroes at the liquor store across the street, clearly her next destination.
I loaded up my spatula and put my window down. Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd. I whipped it. As it flew through the air, I was heartbroken to see it split into two pieces...there must have been some weak point in my log. I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties.
To my amazement, both chunks of pewp hit their mark. I was at first concerned that I had damaged the fabric of space and time, as this chunk of shyte whipped off of my spatula only slightly slower than the speed of light. The smaller piece went directly into her open, yelling mouth; the second larger piece hit her hard, neanderthal head and pancaked into a massive shit explosion. As she dropped her plate of chicken wings and yelled, I saw her bite down on the turd in her mouth which resulted in shit being squeezed between the gaps in her carie-ridden, rotting teeth.
I hit the gas and flew by her. On the way past I gave her fat ass a good whack with my spatula. I was so thrilled I came home and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:29 PM Author: aquamarine international law enforcement agency forum It's too bad your talent couldnt be put to better use. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235126) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:30 PM Author: Bipolar Rusted Den you should submit your stories for publication. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235137) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:30 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig Guy sitting next to fjackie at the library: What's so funny? Me: "I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties." Guy: Dude, what's your problem? |
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Date: July 4th, 2008 12:30 AM Author: Obsidian motley center i know this is a three year old post, but i can't resist: that is false. guys don't call girls "dude." that is something that either a) a girl WISHES would happen or b) a guy would say to another guy. i think B is the more likely scenario, because there aren't very many actual females on this board but a lot of fakers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9943332) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: white exhilarant mexican deer antler You've done better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235139) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood IB? |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:59 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235924) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm don't go to any pizza joints this week. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235142) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:39 PM Author: walnut bat shit crazy weed whacker nursing home Excellent
" Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd" |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 5:05 PM Author: stimulating black juggernaut patrolman infinity to the fucking infinity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5940659) |
Date: March 1st, 2005 4:33 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig By the way I think this guy might be a shill for Sbarro. What's with all the mentions? That is some fucking TTT food-court pizza if I ever tasted it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235160) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:35 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma Now that you mention it, I think I did reference Sbarro in a previous post. Chalk it up to coincidence...I quit eating there after I found a fingernail in my pasta salad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235174) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:38 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig So did she get the dinner shit in the mouth, or was it the breakfast shit? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235198) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:40 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma Breakfast shit...it was the smaller portion of the log as that meal would be smaller than dinner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235226) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:37 PM Author: Bipolar Rusted Den This is what neoconned should strive to be. Almost Sforza-esque. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235189) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:38 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood Who's to say this isn't neoconned? It's obviously someone who's been posting for a long time. They've achieved a certain masterful synthesis of RWA's bum story and the infamous library shiteater yarn. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235203) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:40 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I am new here...and I assure you I only post under a single name. I have simply been blessed with the ability to communicate my feelings about both niggers and assmeat. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235219) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:41 PM Author: Bipolar Rusted Den because neoconned has never been funny, whereas alabama is almost always funny.
RWA is not nearly as creative, though he is offensive too - theres a personality difference to the posts. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:43 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood I'm not saying this *is* either RWA or whoever wrote the shiteater story, but clearly that's who they're imitating. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:45 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I actually am not imitating anyone. To be quite honest, I couldn't finish that shiteater story...whoever wrote that has both a strong stomach and a gift. You are correct that both this story and the shiteater story involve the consumption of feces, but that is the end of the overlap. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235260) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:42 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig I already cracked the code. http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=142809&mc=3&forum_id=2 |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:44 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood There's about a 0% chance of that being the case. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:47 PM Author: electric point If this guy really is plucot, that's quite a character change to go from articulate and creative to incomprehensible and moronic. Impressive, I'd say. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235279) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:49 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig Yeah, hard to imagine how one person could write something as beautiful as the above, and then turn around and and whine incomprehensibly about how we should all just get along. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235293) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:49 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I do not want to get along. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235300) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:50 PM Author: shimmering dopamine brethren exactly, which makes it unlikely that you're also plucot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235307) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:51 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig But plucot probably has all kinds of repressed racial hatred since she is a camel-riding dothead, after all. Maybe this is how she acts out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235318) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:54 PM Author: shimmering dopamine brethren Almost certainly, but I'm sure she would express it in an abjectly stupid manner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235337) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:55 PM Author: Bipolar Rusted Den nothing was so frustrating as talking to her about bill cosby yesterday. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235343) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:56 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood What thread was that? |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:57 PM Author: Bipolar Rusted Den search for "races reversed in pizza parlor" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235369) |
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Date: May 15th, 2006 9:34 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater okay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5790801) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:02 PM Author: Brindle beady-eyed giraffe you answered more than a year later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215174) |
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Date: June 16th, 2007 3:31 AM Author: naked duck-like corn cake menage you answered more than 7 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8262164) |
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Date: August 25th, 2007 9:11 PM Author: Coiffed Glittery Circlehead you answered more than 7 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8559511) |
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Date: October 28th, 2007 4:19 AM Author: Pink Provocative Hunting Ground you answered more than a month later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8821527) |
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Date: January 30th, 2008 12:20 AM Author: Coiffed Glittery Circlehead you answered more than 2 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9242066) |
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Date: March 8th, 2008 2:09 PM Author: Startling cordovan jap church you answered more than 3 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9448641) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:43 PM Author: excitant drab prole faggotry neoconned wasn't funny, or a storyteller. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235249) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:45 PM Author: Anal razzmatazz mood Knobgobbler. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:51 PM Author: rambunctious gaping spot For some reason, the highlight of that story may be his mispelling of "pewp". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235316) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:52 PM Author: Infuriating turquoise casino LOL, I was about to say the exact same thing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235322) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:53 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I am so glad to see that the subtilties are not going to waste....*wipes tear from eye* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235331) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:04 PM Author: white exhilarant mexican deer antler I personally prefer "turdodynamics" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235424) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:05 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma Engineer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235433) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:05 PM Author: white exhilarant mexican deer antler Nice catch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235436) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:13 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma Had to be. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235510) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:06 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig What gave it away? The dot or the towel? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235442) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:26 AM Author: abusive beta state quadroon LOL, I think the exact same thing. I am still laughing at that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435160) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:47 PM Author: rambunctious gaping spot Subject: Horrid yet thrilling (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235284) |
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Date: April 21st, 2007 11:15 AM Author: Insecure roast beef credited (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7975019) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 6:05 PM Author: maroon heady toaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235967) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 8:04 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I humbly accept your praise. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2236613) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:06 PM Author: maroon heady toaster ... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251820) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:08 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig I laughed all over again... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251832) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:10 PM Author: maroon heady toaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251840) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:11 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma glad to bring some sunshine to your day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251841) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:13 PM Author: cyan abode blood rage This would make a great HLS essay. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251856) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:22 PM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm "I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties."
best line of the post
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:24 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig The AdComm would throw the file into the "ADMIT" pile right about at "pewp." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251899) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:38 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig Good use of mosey'ed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2296014) |
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Date: March 28th, 2005 11:59 PM Author: maroon heady toaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2434927) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:18 AM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm this was a classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435092) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:19 AM Author: maroon heady toaster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435096) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:29 AM Author: titillating queen of the night I almost feel bad about forcing him into retirement with the blowjobs in auschwitz thread. It's a shame the Golden Age of Racism has ended. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435182) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:32 AM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm I'm sure it will flourish again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435201) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:33 AM Author: abusive beta state quadroon As it has in the past. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435209) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:33 AM Author: sinister ultramarine native This never gets old. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435205) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:37 AM Author: Nudist trump supporter Holy Shit this is classic. I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through. I also loved the Holocaust semen reference though never saw the original. Anybody know what thread its in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435232) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 1:06 AM Author: titillating queen of the night you talking about the "did jew bitches give blowjobs in Auschwitz for the protein?" thread (as mentioned in Leiter Reports)? Do a search. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435471) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:43 AM Author: idiotic nibblets toilet seat OMG, 180!! I just read this for the first time. Can't believe what I missed. A true gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435269) |
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Date: December 3rd, 2007 9:19 PM Author: High-end aqua theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8973756) |
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Date: May 30th, 2005 8:50 PM Author: erotic church building kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2891901) |
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Date: June 1st, 2005 5:18 PM Author: erotic church building kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2906585) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2005 2:59 PM Author: rambunctious gaping spot How rewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2913863) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:26 PM Author: talented kitty cat institution In honor of alabama. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210318) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma i'm only back for a few minutes. wanted to see how you all were doing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210325) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:34 PM Author: very tactful rigor lay Beautiful bump, classic thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210425) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:38 PM Author: Twinkling Indirect Expression Preventive Strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731608) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:42 PM Author: Disrespectful Rehab Ratface first time i saw this. i nearly shat myself reading it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731624) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:45 PM Author: Twinkling Indirect Expression Preventive Strike You've NEVER seen this before?! It's a classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731643) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:46 PM Author: Disrespectful Rehab Ratface nope, i hadnt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731651) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:46 PM Author: Chocolate marketing idea haha, I've never actually read this before today (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731656) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:52 PM Author: Impertinent step-uncle's house fanboi racist (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731703) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 9:22 PM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm a classic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731938) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 9:46 PM Author: magenta aggressive stain halford most excellent. ("offensive," racist, etc; count me as being properly opposed, this is what's wrong with . . . etc, etc.) keep them coming. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3732116) |
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Date: October 6th, 2005 12:07 PM Author: abusive beta state quadroon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3985987) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 8:16 PM Author: slimy at-the-ready library dysfunction wow, this is offensive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4190135) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:32 PM Author: slimy at-the-ready library dysfunction why is nobody outraged at this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191727) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:34 PM Author: spectacular university pisswyrm I'm outraged a perfectly good turd was ruined by landing on a nigger. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191753) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:35 PM Author: slimy at-the-ready library dysfunction It landed in her mouth, how is this not outrageous? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191766) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 5:27 PM Author: slimy at-the-ready library dysfunction Come on! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5176200) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 5:30 PM Author: appetizing range dinner is served (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5176219) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2005 12:09 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle school cafeteria crotch I'm offended it took you 8 months to respond. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191998) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:55 PM Author: slimy at-the-ready library dysfunction this stuff is wrong (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214197) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:48 PM Author: Stirring ivory orchestra pit dragon ha ha. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214149) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:53 PM Author: Disrespectful Rehab Ratface i finally saw an Sbarro box about a month ago, and can fully appreciate the post. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214182) |
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Date: November 27th, 2005 6:42 PM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig AA has gone too farrrrrrr! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4396817) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:46 AM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown the beauty is the double meaning of 'breaking point' (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436812) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:41 AM Author: canary house organic girlfriend Wow, I just got that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4912066) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:48 AM Author: hot space (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436838) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 1:00 AM Author: House-broken Hairless Public Bath Pervert I laughed so hard I started crying. I had to leave the library. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436958) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 11:04 AM Author: Sadistic arousing sanctuary elastic band same (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4438900) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 11:08 AM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm possibly the greatest post ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4438925) |
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Date: May 28th, 2007 10:46 PM Author: Awkward field community account i think so (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8181172) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 12:49 PM Author: mint vivacious selfie business firm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4457890) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 12:56 PM Author: insane primrose ladyboy So this is the writing it takes to get into Yale. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4457922) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 1:31 PM Author: mind-boggling stage Flame. No WAY you had Dom Perignon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4458118) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 1:37 PM Author: Fragrant buck-toothed skinny woman liquid oxygen i was laughing to the point of tears. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4458163) |
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Date: January 5th, 2006 8:26 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4744483) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 10:16 AM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4748426) |
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Date: January 13th, 2006 8:19 AM Author: purple painfully honest athletic conference Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4804978) |
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Date: January 18th, 2006 9:38 AM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4847120) |
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Date: January 19th, 2006 1:07 PM Author: Lavender gaming laptop awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4856901) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:12 AM Author: irradiated plaza police squad I was hoping this thread wouldn't survive yesterday's glitch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911928) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:23 AM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig it's the details that make this post one of the richest in xoxo history. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911973) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:28 AM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig the funny thing is the writing ranges from the pedestrian to stunningly evocative imagery and inspired choice of words. i would love to see a full-length final draft of the narrator's battle with the darker forces among us (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911996) |
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Date: February 9th, 2006 1:21 AM Author: navy contagious stag film you might be the worst writer on here, evan. please stop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5035705) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2006 1:04 AM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig good point! i am the worst writer here. what should i do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5163077) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 7:34 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4978520) |
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Date: February 6th, 2006 8:00 PM Author: appetizing range (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5013313) |
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Date: February 9th, 2006 1:14 AM Author: navy contagious stag film best thread EVER. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5035639) |
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Date: February 15th, 2006 8:01 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5097830) |
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Date: February 15th, 2006 8:08 PM Author: Histrionic bearded principal's office ape The thing is, it's so detailed that I can't believe it didn't really happen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5097882) |
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Date: February 16th, 2006 11:21 AM Author: swashbuckling karate lolz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5102607) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 4:55 AM Author: Histrionic bearded principal's office ape Bump! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5110864) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 4:57 AM Author: titillating queen of the night hahaha, did the po' little cracker have his feelings hurt? is that why you're bumping this, to make you feel better? fag. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5110872) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:12 AM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown bump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128948) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:13 AM Author: Brass Senate Ha. From the vault. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128955) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:13 AM Author: Zippy Jewess Gunner You throw turds? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128958) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:14 AM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown He just couldn't take it anymore. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128960) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 8:52 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5151776) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2006 1:00 AM Author: passionate mischievous locus candlestick maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5163058) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 7:01 PM Author: balding heaven people who are hurt (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5265723) |
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Date: March 21st, 2006 12:34 PM Author: appetizing range (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5389696) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 11:55 AM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma Still going strong 13 months later. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5533982) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 11:56 AM Author: pale associate you still post here? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5533988) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:01 PM Author: appetizing range hi strom (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534017) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:04 PM Author: pale associate strom isn't that smart (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534042) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:11 PM Author: comical national just like your retirement thread which was so fuckin lame where you said you were sorry for being a racist and you didnt really mean it. dumbass fag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534083) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:12 PM Author: Violet razzle whorehouse friendly grandma we're still supposed to be impressed by this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534100) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:06 PM Author: Amethyst Wonderful Legal Warrant racist drivel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534056) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:16 PM Author: iridescent flatulent gas station reading party Wrong, just wrong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534119) |
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Date: April 18th, 2006 8:07 PM Author: charismatic low-t travel guidebook wow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5606680) |
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Date: April 18th, 2006 9:47 PM Author: chestnut mother mediation nigga plz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5607215) |
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Date: April 30th, 2006 6:24 PM Author: fear-inspiring tanning salon voyeur do you see why this is the greatest post in xo history? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5688411) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 8:24 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715230) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 8:57 PM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715455) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:17 PM Author: rebellious magical corner incel bump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715578) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:23 PM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715612) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:25 PM Author: learning disabled internal respiration market This post is racist. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715624) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 6:51 PM Author: erotic church building kitty Your searing analysis is mindblowing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5853747) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 7:19 PM Author: fear-inspiring tanning salon voyeur too early (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5853925) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 7:41 PM Author: erotic church building kitty ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5854096) |
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Date: May 10th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5761253) |
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Date: May 21st, 2006 8:58 PM Author: fear-inspiring tanning salon voyeur (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5828509) |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 5:01 PM Author: balding heaven people who are hurt Why would you do such a thing? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5940632) |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 7:22 PM Author: erotic church building kitty Easily the best post ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5941716) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2006 7:48 PM Author: balding heaven people who are hurt This is a disgusting thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6056207) |
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Date: June 26th, 2006 9:30 PM Author: charismatic low-t travel guidebook Remember like McCoy and Spock's brain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6078711) |
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Date: July 4th, 2006 9:34 PM Author: honey-headed address Date: March 1st, 2005 4:27 PM Author: alabamajdesq
I just couldn't take it anymore. Every day last week on my way home there was this obnoxious nigger bitch with a huge ass stuffed into tight jeans and a puffy jacket on a corner I pass. Every day she would start to waddle her simian ass across the street after the light turned green, then stare at traffic as she slowly mosey'ed across. Yesterday this bitch decided to to stop half way across, turn around, and start shouting something to this other cunt across the street with a triple baby stroller and three little nigs. I had had enough.
Today I launched my plan. I got Sbarro pizza to go for lunch. This provided me with a cardboard 'to go' pizza box that I converted into a turd containment vehicle. I drank a huge starbucks venti house coffee in about fifty seconds, burning the shit out of my tounge doing so. The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect. I went into the bathroom with my sbarro box, squatted over it, and hatched a mean, stinky, mullato log dead center (covering one errant pepperoni). I also stole a spatula from the office kitchen, as I did not want to soil my hands with feces during my revenge.
I left work. I slunk through traffic like a lion in the amber grass, stalking my monkey prey. I planned to scoop up my log missle with the spatula and whip it with wrist action as fast as andre agassi's. Unfortunately, I am right handed, so I knew I would have to whip that motherfucker with my left hand out my driver's side window and hope for the best.
I spotted the bitch on the corner. She wasn't crossing, but she was eating. She had a plate of chicken wings....she was jamming one after another into her mouth, sucking off the meat, and throwing the chicken bone on the ground. It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place. She then licked her greasy fingers with her big negroid lips and yelled something to the negroes at the liquor store across the street, clearly her next destination.
I loaded up my spatula and put my window down. Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd. I whipped it. As it flew through the air, I was heartbroken to see it split into two pieces...there must have been some weak point in my log. I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties.
To my amazement, both chunks of pewp hit their mark. I was at first concerned that I had damaged the fabric of space and time, as this chunk of shyte whipped off of my spatula only slightly slower than the speed of light. The smaller piece went directly into her open, yelling mouth; the second larger piece hit her hard, neanderthal head and pancaked into a massive shit explosion. As she dropped her plate of chicken wings and yelled, I saw her bite down on the turd in her mouth which resulted in shit being squeezed between the gaps in her carie-ridden, rotting teeth.
I hit the gas and flew by her. On the way past I gave her fat ass a good whack with my spatula. I was so thrilled I came home and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235112) |
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Date: July 6th, 2006 7:52 PM Author: gay hell i feel like this thread needs to be bumped periodically for anyone who hasn't read it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6154119) |
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Date: July 10th, 2006 6:33 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6180629) |
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Date: July 13th, 2006 9:38 PM Author: poppy lascivious volcanic crater Kill, would you have shot alabamajdesq with your new gun if he did this to you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6206166) |
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Date: July 27th, 2006 7:02 AM Author: erotic church building kitty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6311944) |
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Date: July 28th, 2006 1:03 AM Author: Swollen dingle berry omg, like a total classic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6319929) |
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Date: August 4th, 2006 4:00 PM Author: fear-inspiring tanning salon voyeur (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6378076) |
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Date: September 18th, 2006 2:12 AM Author: exciting fat ankles Bumped for the new HLS crowd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6634097) |
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Date: October 5th, 2006 2:05 AM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6731837) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 12:21 PM Author: sooty garrison rigpig It's always appropriate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6749647) |
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Date: October 13th, 2006 5:25 PM Author: Curious main people wrinkle It's back. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6783087) |
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Date: October 30th, 2006 6:50 PM Author: Fantasy-prone orchid affirmative action theater 171 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6887990) |
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Date: November 19th, 2006 3:56 PM Author: Tantric ticket booth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7026889) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:56 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215123) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:56 PM Author: bearded lodge son of senegal got any more 'nuggets' for us, or just riding out the old glory? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215129) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:58 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma I live in the past... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215142) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:00 PM Author: spruce bateful pit degenerate NIGGER. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215156) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:01 PM Author: 180 hilarious dilemma ching chang chong. ding. dang....dong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215168) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:06 PM Author: spruce bateful pit degenerate haha, real creative nigger (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215199) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:57 PM Author: Ebony Sound Barrier Pozpig "The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215139) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:59 PM Author: bearded lodge son of senegal "It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place." is clearly the better line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215148) |
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Date: December 18th, 2006 4:05 AM Author: vigorous really tough guy shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7248689) |
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Date: December 18th, 2006 4:06 AM Author: concupiscible knife boiling water who bumped this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7248702) |
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Date: December 31st, 2006 9:55 PM Author: Wild Supple Set . (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7326077) |
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Date: December 31st, 2006 9:57 PM Author: trip idiot THIS IS OUR COUNTRY (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7326080) |
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Date: March 5th, 2007 1:30 AM Author: wine box office becky (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7710299) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Salmon dashing sandwich jew still epic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7905219) |
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Date: April 26th, 2007 9:56 PM Author: Histrionic bearded principal's office ape Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8013346) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:42 PM Author: sepia disgusting famous landscape painting meetinghouse Bump for GTO's hiring committee. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8056755) |
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Date: May 20th, 2007 11:16 AM Author: Azure greedy base (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8143610) |
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Date: May 20th, 2007 12:29 PM Author: seedy office WGWAG (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8143777) |
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Date: June 16th, 2007 3:24 AM Author: domesticated locale Damn this is offensive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8262159) |
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Date: July 12th, 2007 9:47 PM Author: Adventurous tattoo wagecucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8375793) |
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Date: July 12th, 2007 9:48 PM Author: adulterous bawdyhouse masturbator quality bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8375801) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: Laughsome confused faggot firefighter persian b (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436236) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: scarlet hissy fit site why on earth did you bump this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436240) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Laughsome confused faggot firefighter persian the fuck is your problem?? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436245) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown alabamajd
RIP |
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Date: August 10th, 2007 12:33 AM Author: henna trailer park (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8497230) |
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Date: August 25th, 2007 9:08 PM Author: Coiffed Glittery Circlehead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8559497) |
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Date: September 19th, 2007 11:56 PM Author: floppy property NIGGER (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8665060) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2007 8:56 PM Author: Crystalline goal in life Oh yes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8801480) |
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Date: October 28th, 2007 4:04 AM Author: Pink Provocative Hunting Ground a gift from me to the xoxo noobs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8821509) |
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Date: November 30th, 2007 7:08 PM Author: gold marvelous water buffalo home this really isn't very nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8958246) |
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Date: January 29th, 2008 10:40 PM Author: blathering mustard generalized bond this community account should be deleted... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9241452) |
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Date: January 29th, 2008 10:40 PM Author: blathering mustard generalized bond NO. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9241454) |
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Date: January 29th, 2008 10:42 PM Author: blathering mustard generalized bond i beg to differ, whokebe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9241465) |
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Date: February 7th, 2008 7:45 PM Author: vengeful diverse psychic Someone should edit this down to fewer words and make it their Yale 250. Like a 4.0 178 or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9289174) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2008 9:35 PM Author: blathering mustard generalized bond i think i saw this happen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9423498) |
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Date: July 5th, 2008 10:32 PM Author: Charcoal cruise ship clown tcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9947664) |
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Date: July 18th, 2008 1:54 AM Author: Amber kink-friendly philosopher-king theatre (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9984571) |
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Date: July 18th, 2008 3:57 AM Author: costumed zombie-like newt sublime (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9984741) |
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Date: September 10th, 2008 4:37 PM Author: Obsidian motley center (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#10146653) |