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Breaking point: Threw a big turd at a nigger today
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 1st, 2005 4:27 PM Author: high-end pozpig I just couldn't take it anymore. Every day last week on my way home there was this obnoxious nigger bitch with a huge ass stuffed into tight jeans and a puffy jacket on a corner I pass. Every day she would start to waddle her simian ass across the street after the light turned green, then stare at traffic as she slowly mosey'ed across. Yesterday this bitch decided to to stop half way across, turn around, and start shouting something to this other cunt across the street with a triple baby stroller and three little nigs. I had had enough.
Today I launched my plan. I got Sbarro pizza to go for lunch. This provided me with a cardboard 'to go' pizza box that I converted into a turd containment vehicle. I drank a huge starbucks venti house coffee in about fifty seconds, burning the shit out of my tounge doing so. The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect. I went into the bathroom with my sbarro box, squatted over it, and hatched a mean, stinky, mullato log dead center (covering one errant pepperoni). I also stole a spatula from the office kitchen, as I did not want to soil my hands with feces during my revenge.
I left work. I slunk through traffic like a lion in the amber grass, stalking my monkey prey. I planned to scoop up my log missle with the spatula and whip it with wrist action as fast as andre agassi's. Unfortunately, I am right handed, so I knew I would have to whip that motherfucker with my left hand out my driver's side window and hope for the best.
I spotted the bitch on the corner. She wasn't crossing, but she was eating. She had a plate of chicken wings....she was jamming one after another into her mouth, sucking off the meat, and throwing the chicken bone on the ground. It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place. She then licked her greasy fingers with her big negroid lips and yelled something to the negroes at the liquor store across the street, clearly her next destination.
I loaded up my spatula and put my window down. Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd. I whipped it. As it flew through the air, I was heartbroken to see it split into two pieces...there must have been some weak point in my log. I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties.
To my amazement, both chunks of pewp hit their mark. I was at first concerned that I had damaged the fabric of space and time, as this chunk of shyte whipped off of my spatula only slightly slower than the speed of light. The smaller piece went directly into her open, yelling mouth; the second larger piece hit her hard, neanderthal head and pancaked into a massive shit explosion. As she dropped her plate of chicken wings and yelled, I saw her bite down on the turd in her mouth which resulted in shit being squeezed between the gaps in her carie-ridden, rotting teeth.
I hit the gas and flew by her. On the way past I gave her fat ass a good whack with my spatula. I was so thrilled I came home and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:29 PM Author: Comical quadroon It's too bad your talent couldnt be put to better use. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235126) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:30 PM Author: Vivacious fortuitous meteor plaza you should submit your stories for publication. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235137) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:30 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native Guy sitting next to fjackie at the library: What's so funny? Me: "I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties." Guy: Dude, what's your problem? |
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Date: July 4th, 2008 12:30 AM Author: hairraiser old irish cottage mexican i know this is a three year old post, but i can't resist: that is false. guys don't call girls "dude." that is something that either a) a girl WISHES would happen or b) a guy would say to another guy. i think B is the more likely scenario, because there aren't very many actual females on this board but a lot of fakers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9943332) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: Plum stubborn internal respiration You've done better. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235139) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: Coral set IB? |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:59 PM Author: high-end pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235924) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:31 PM Author: Cream Fat Ankles don't go to any pizza joints this week. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235142) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:39 PM Author: startled range gaming laptop Excellent
" Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd" |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 5:05 PM Author: Sepia rigpig infinity to the fucking infinity (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5940659) |
Date: March 1st, 2005 4:33 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native By the way I think this guy might be a shill for Sbarro. What's with all the mentions? That is some fucking TTT food-court pizza if I ever tasted it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235160) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:35 PM Author: high-end pozpig Now that you mention it, I think I did reference Sbarro in a previous post. Chalk it up to coincidence...I quit eating there after I found a fingernail in my pasta salad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235174) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:38 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native So did she get the dinner shit in the mouth, or was it the breakfast shit? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235198) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:40 PM Author: high-end pozpig Breakfast shit...it was the smaller portion of the log as that meal would be smaller than dinner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235226) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:37 PM Author: Vivacious fortuitous meteor plaza This is what neoconned should strive to be. Almost Sforza-esque. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235189) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:38 PM Author: Coral set Who's to say this isn't neoconned? It's obviously someone who's been posting for a long time. They've achieved a certain masterful synthesis of RWA's bum story and the infamous library shiteater yarn. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235203) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:40 PM Author: high-end pozpig I am new here...and I assure you I only post under a single name. I have simply been blessed with the ability to communicate my feelings about both niggers and assmeat. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235219) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:41 PM Author: Vivacious fortuitous meteor plaza because neoconned has never been funny, whereas alabama is almost always funny.
RWA is not nearly as creative, though he is offensive too - theres a personality difference to the posts. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:43 PM Author: Coral set I'm not saying this *is* either RWA or whoever wrote the shiteater story, but clearly that's who they're imitating. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:45 PM Author: high-end pozpig I actually am not imitating anyone. To be quite honest, I couldn't finish that shiteater story...whoever wrote that has both a strong stomach and a gift. You are correct that both this story and the shiteater story involve the consumption of feces, but that is the end of the overlap. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235260) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:42 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native I already cracked the code. http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=142809&mc=3&forum_id=2 |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:44 PM Author: Coral set There's about a 0% chance of that being the case. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:47 PM Author: copper magical crotch ticket booth If this guy really is plucot, that's quite a character change to go from articulate and creative to incomprehensible and moronic. Impressive, I'd say. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235279) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:49 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native Yeah, hard to imagine how one person could write something as beautiful as the above, and then turn around and and whine incomprehensibly about how we should all just get along. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235293) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:49 PM Author: high-end pozpig I do not want to get along. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235300) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:50 PM Author: Zombie-like Sanctuary exactly, which makes it unlikely that you're also plucot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235307) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:51 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native But plucot probably has all kinds of repressed racial hatred since she is a camel-riding dothead, after all. Maybe this is how she acts out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235318) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:54 PM Author: Zombie-like Sanctuary Almost certainly, but I'm sure she would express it in an abjectly stupid manner. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235337) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:55 PM Author: Vivacious fortuitous meteor plaza nothing was so frustrating as talking to her about bill cosby yesterday. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235343) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:56 PM Author: Coral set What thread was that? |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:57 PM Author: Vivacious fortuitous meteor plaza search for "races reversed in pizza parlor" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235369) |
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Date: May 15th, 2006 9:34 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker okay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5790801) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:02 PM Author: Misunderstood brass alpha den you answered more than a year later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215174) |
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Date: June 16th, 2007 3:31 AM Author: deranged international law enforcement agency you answered more than 7 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8262164) |
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Date: August 25th, 2007 9:11 PM Author: vermilion orchestra pit you answered more than 7 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8559511) |
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Date: October 28th, 2007 4:19 AM Author: ruby flirting jew you answered more than a month later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8821527) |
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Date: January 30th, 2008 12:20 AM Author: vermilion orchestra pit you answered more than 2 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9242066) |
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Date: March 8th, 2008 2:09 PM Author: red french trailer park you answered more than 3 months later? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9448641) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:43 PM Author: heady pale gaping mental disorder neoconned wasn't funny, or a storyteller. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235249) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:45 PM Author: Coral set Knobgobbler. |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:51 PM Author: cracking masturbator base For some reason, the highlight of that story may be his mispelling of "pewp". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235316) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:52 PM Author: exciting scarlet stead LOL, I was about to say the exact same thing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235322) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:53 PM Author: high-end pozpig I am so glad to see that the subtilties are not going to waste....*wipes tear from eye* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235331) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:04 PM Author: Plum stubborn internal respiration I personally prefer "turdodynamics" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235424) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:05 PM Author: high-end pozpig Engineer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235433) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:05 PM Author: Plum stubborn internal respiration Nice catch (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235436) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:13 PM Author: high-end pozpig Had to be. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235510) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 5:06 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native What gave it away? The dot or the towel? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235442) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:26 AM Author: concupiscible telephone forum LOL, I think the exact same thing. I am still laughing at that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435160) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 4:47 PM Author: cracking masturbator base Subject: Horrid yet thrilling (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235284) |
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Date: April 21st, 2007 11:15 AM Author: dead friendly grandma main people credited (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7975019) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 6:05 PM Author: big-titted cerebral piazza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235967) |
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Date: March 1st, 2005 8:04 PM Author: high-end pozpig I humbly accept your praise. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2236613) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:06 PM Author: big-titted cerebral piazza ... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251820) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:08 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native I laughed all over again... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251832) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:10 PM Author: big-titted cerebral piazza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251840) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:11 PM Author: high-end pozpig glad to bring some sunshine to your day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251841) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:13 PM Author: Fiercely-loyal excitant temple This would make a great HLS essay. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251856) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:22 PM Author: Cream Fat Ankles "I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties."
best line of the post
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Date: March 3rd, 2005 7:24 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native The AdComm would throw the file into the "ADMIT" pile right about at "pewp." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2251899) |
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Date: March 9th, 2005 5:38 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native Good use of mosey'ed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2296014) |
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Date: March 28th, 2005 11:59 PM Author: big-titted cerebral piazza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2434927) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:18 AM Author: Cream Fat Ankles this was a classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435092) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:19 AM Author: big-titted cerebral piazza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435096) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:29 AM Author: trip henna chapel coffee pot I almost feel bad about forcing him into retirement with the blowjobs in auschwitz thread. It's a shame the Golden Age of Racism has ended. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435182) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:32 AM Author: Cream Fat Ankles I'm sure it will flourish again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435201) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:33 AM Author: concupiscible telephone forum As it has in the past. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435209) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:33 AM Author: sienna roommate stage This never gets old. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435205) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:37 AM Author: Curious Submissive Bawdyhouse Holy Shit this is classic. I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through. I also loved the Holocaust semen reference though never saw the original. Anybody know what thread its in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435232) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 1:06 AM Author: trip henna chapel coffee pot you talking about the "did jew bitches give blowjobs in Auschwitz for the protein?" thread (as mentioned in Leiter Reports)? Do a search. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435471) |
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Date: March 29th, 2005 12:43 AM Author: Territorial doctorate OMG, 180!! I just read this for the first time. Can't believe what I missed. A true gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2435269) |
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Date: December 3rd, 2007 9:19 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle cruise ship indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8973756) |
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Date: May 30th, 2005 8:50 PM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2891901) |
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Date: June 1st, 2005 5:18 PM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2906585) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2005 2:59 PM Author: cracking masturbator base How rewd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2913863) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:26 PM Author: spectacular public bath In honor of alabama. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210318) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:27 PM Author: high-end pozpig i'm only back for a few minutes. wanted to see how you all were doing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210325) |
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Date: July 6th, 2005 11:34 PM Author: Magenta Church Trump Supporter Beautiful bump, classic thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3210425) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:38 PM Author: sickened organic girlfriend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731608) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:42 PM Author: Hateful Stirring Psychic Haunted Graveyard first time i saw this. i nearly shat myself reading it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731624) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:45 PM Author: sickened organic girlfriend You've NEVER seen this before?! It's a classic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731643) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:46 PM Author: Hateful Stirring Psychic Haunted Graveyard nope, i hadnt. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731651) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:46 PM Author: Laughsome business firm macaca haha, I've never actually read this before today (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731656) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 8:52 PM Author: Azure pervert racist (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731703) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 9:22 PM Author: Cream Fat Ankles a classic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3731938) |
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Date: September 2nd, 2005 9:46 PM Author: transparent duck-like office antidepressant drug most excellent. ("offensive," racist, etc; count me as being properly opposed, this is what's wrong with . . . etc, etc.) keep them coming. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3732116) |
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Date: October 6th, 2005 12:07 PM Author: concupiscible telephone forum (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#3985987) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 8:16 PM Author: Wonderful charcoal affirmative action wow, this is offensive. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4190135) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:32 PM Author: Wonderful charcoal affirmative action why is nobody outraged at this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191727) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:34 PM Author: Misanthropic center genital piercing I'm outraged a perfectly good turd was ruined by landing on a nigger. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191753) |
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Date: November 1st, 2005 11:35 PM Author: Wonderful charcoal affirmative action It landed in her mouth, how is this not outrageous? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191766) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 5:27 PM Author: Wonderful charcoal affirmative action Come on! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5176200) |
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Date: February 24th, 2006 5:30 PM Author: Sticky Impertinent Meetinghouse dinner is served (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5176219) |
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Date: November 2nd, 2005 12:09 AM Author: medicated godawful idiot I'm offended it took you 8 months to respond. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4191998) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:55 PM Author: Wonderful charcoal affirmative action this stuff is wrong (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214197) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:48 PM Author: 180 Station Pisswyrm ha ha. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214149) |
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Date: November 4th, 2005 6:53 PM Author: Hateful Stirring Psychic Haunted Graveyard i finally saw an Sbarro box about a month ago, and can fully appreciate the post. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4214182) |
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Date: November 27th, 2005 6:42 PM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit AA has gone too farrrrrrr! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4396817) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:46 AM Author: Dashing bull headed reading party the beauty is the double meaning of 'breaking point' (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436812) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:41 AM Author: Smoky provocative lay knife Wow, I just got that. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4912066) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:48 AM Author: Floppy Carmine Gunner Shrine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436838) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 1:00 AM Author: judgmental skinny woman cumskin I laughed so hard I started crying. I had to leave the library. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4436958) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 11:04 AM Author: Tantric Insecure Whorehouse same (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4438900) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 11:08 AM Author: Cream Fat Ankles possibly the greatest post ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4438925) |
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Date: May 28th, 2007 10:46 PM Author: cowardly property i think so (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8181172) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 12:49 PM Author: Cream Fat Ankles (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4457890) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 12:56 PM Author: Ocher self-centered hunting ground dingle berry So this is the writing it takes to get into Yale. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4457922) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 1:31 PM Author: amethyst theater stage sex offender Flame. No WAY you had Dom Perignon. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4458118) |
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Date: December 4th, 2005 1:37 PM Author: histrionic maniacal striped hyena i was laughing to the point of tears. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4458163) |
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Date: January 5th, 2006 8:26 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4744483) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 10:16 AM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4748426) |
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Date: January 13th, 2006 8:19 AM Author: Citrine Abode Laser Beams Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4804978) |
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Date: January 18th, 2006 9:38 AM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4847120) |
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Date: January 19th, 2006 1:07 PM Author: lime nibblets awesome (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4856901) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:12 AM Author: Titillating Bright House I was hoping this thread wouldn't survive yesterday's glitch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911928) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:23 AM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit it's the details that make this post one of the richest in xoxo history. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911973) |
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Date: January 26th, 2006 10:28 AM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit the funny thing is the writing ranges from the pedestrian to stunningly evocative imagery and inspired choice of words. i would love to see a full-length final draft of the narrator's battle with the darker forces among us (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4911996) |
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Date: February 9th, 2006 1:21 AM Author: Disrespectful double fault institution you might be the worst writer on here, evan. please stop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5035705) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2006 1:04 AM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit good point! i am the worst writer here. what should i do? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5163077) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2006 7:34 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#4978520) |
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Date: February 6th, 2006 8:00 PM Author: Sticky Impertinent Meetinghouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5013313) |
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Date: February 9th, 2006 1:14 AM Author: Disrespectful double fault institution best thread EVER. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5035639) |
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Date: February 15th, 2006 8:01 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5097830) |
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Date: February 15th, 2006 8:08 PM Author: slate aromatic point goyim The thing is, it's so detailed that I can't believe it didn't really happen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5097882) |
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Date: February 16th, 2006 11:21 AM Author: avocado lodge lolz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5102607) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 4:55 AM Author: slate aromatic point goyim Bump! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5110864) |
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Date: February 17th, 2006 4:57 AM Author: trip henna chapel coffee pot hahaha, did the po' little cracker have his feelings hurt? is that why you're bumping this, to make you feel better? fag. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5110872) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:12 AM Author: Dashing bull headed reading party bump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128948) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:13 AM Author: anal chocolate legend locale Ha. From the vault. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128955) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:13 AM Author: Fragrant carnelian stage You throw turds? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128958) |
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Date: February 19th, 2006 3:14 AM Author: Dashing bull headed reading party He just couldn't take it anymore. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5128960) |
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Date: February 21st, 2006 8:52 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5151776) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2006 1:00 AM Author: Adventurous dun useless brakes (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5163058) |
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Date: March 6th, 2006 7:01 PM Author: Drunken Bonkers Voyeur (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5265723) |
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Date: March 21st, 2006 12:34 PM Author: Sticky Impertinent Meetinghouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5389696) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 11:55 AM Author: high-end pozpig Still going strong 13 months later. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5533982) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 11:56 AM Author: honey-headed resort you still post here? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5533988) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:01 PM Author: Sticky Impertinent Meetinghouse hi strom (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534017) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:04 PM Author: honey-headed resort strom isn't that smart (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534042) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:11 PM Author: bipolar elite liquid oxygen just like your retirement thread which was so fuckin lame where you said you were sorry for being a racist and you didnt really mean it. dumbass fag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534083) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:12 PM Author: Tripping Hospital Brethren we're still supposed to be impressed by this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534100) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:06 PM Author: Sadistic slap-happy persian stag film racist drivel (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534056) |
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Date: April 7th, 2006 12:16 PM Author: appetizing pea-brained area blood rage Wrong, just wrong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5534119) |
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Date: April 18th, 2006 8:07 PM Author: Balding Field wow. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5606680) |
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Date: April 18th, 2006 9:47 PM Author: Motley Brilliant Address nigga plz (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5607215) |
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Date: April 30th, 2006 6:24 PM Author: translucent garrison marketing idea do you see why this is the greatest post in xo history? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5688411) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 8:24 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715230) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 8:57 PM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715455) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:17 PM Author: blue unholy azn bump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715578) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:23 PM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715612) |
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Date: May 4th, 2006 9:25 PM Author: crusty jade space This post is racist. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5715624) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 6:51 PM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge Your searing analysis is mindblowing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5853747) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 7:19 PM Author: translucent garrison marketing idea too early (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5853925) |
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Date: May 25th, 2006 7:41 PM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5854096) |
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Date: May 10th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5761253) |
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Date: May 21st, 2006 8:58 PM Author: translucent garrison marketing idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5828509) |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 5:01 PM Author: Drunken Bonkers Voyeur Why would you do such a thing? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5940632) |
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Date: June 8th, 2006 7:22 PM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge Easily the best post ever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#5941716) |
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Date: June 23rd, 2006 7:48 PM Author: Drunken Bonkers Voyeur This is a disgusting thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6056207) |
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Date: June 26th, 2006 9:30 PM Author: Balding Field Remember like McCoy and Spock's brain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6078711) |
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Date: July 4th, 2006 9:34 PM Author: frozen senate Date: March 1st, 2005 4:27 PM Author: alabamajdesq
I just couldn't take it anymore. Every day last week on my way home there was this obnoxious nigger bitch with a huge ass stuffed into tight jeans and a puffy jacket on a corner I pass. Every day she would start to waddle her simian ass across the street after the light turned green, then stare at traffic as she slowly mosey'ed across. Yesterday this bitch decided to to stop half way across, turn around, and start shouting something to this other cunt across the street with a triple baby stroller and three little nigs. I had had enough.
Today I launched my plan. I got Sbarro pizza to go for lunch. This provided me with a cardboard 'to go' pizza box that I converted into a turd containment vehicle. I drank a huge starbucks venti house coffee in about fifty seconds, burning the shit out of my tounge doing so. The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect. I went into the bathroom with my sbarro box, squatted over it, and hatched a mean, stinky, mullato log dead center (covering one errant pepperoni). I also stole a spatula from the office kitchen, as I did not want to soil my hands with feces during my revenge.
I left work. I slunk through traffic like a lion in the amber grass, stalking my monkey prey. I planned to scoop up my log missle with the spatula and whip it with wrist action as fast as andre agassi's. Unfortunately, I am right handed, so I knew I would have to whip that motherfucker with my left hand out my driver's side window and hope for the best.
I spotted the bitch on the corner. She wasn't crossing, but she was eating. She had a plate of chicken wings....she was jamming one after another into her mouth, sucking off the meat, and throwing the chicken bone on the ground. It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place. She then licked her greasy fingers with her big negroid lips and yelled something to the negroes at the liquor store across the street, clearly her next destination.
I loaded up my spatula and put my window down. Everything slowed way down and I took on a zen like calmness as I cocked back the turd. I whipped it. As it flew through the air, I was heartbroken to see it split into two pieces...there must have been some weak point in my log. I posit that this was the interface between my steak and potato dinner shit and my toast and yogurt breakfast shit; they had simply formed a single log with very different turdodynamic properties.
To my amazement, both chunks of pewp hit their mark. I was at first concerned that I had damaged the fabric of space and time, as this chunk of shyte whipped off of my spatula only slightly slower than the speed of light. The smaller piece went directly into her open, yelling mouth; the second larger piece hit her hard, neanderthal head and pancaked into a massive shit explosion. As she dropped her plate of chicken wings and yelled, I saw her bite down on the turd in her mouth which resulted in shit being squeezed between the gaps in her carie-ridden, rotting teeth.
I hit the gas and flew by her. On the way past I gave her fat ass a good whack with my spatula. I was so thrilled I came home and opened a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#2235112) |
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Date: July 6th, 2006 7:52 PM Author: exhilarant bearded people who are hurt i feel like this thread needs to be bumped periodically for anyone who hasn't read it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6154119) |
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Date: July 10th, 2006 6:33 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6180629) |
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Date: July 13th, 2006 9:38 PM Author: odious out-of-control locus windowlicker Kill, would you have shot alabamajdesq with your new gun if he did this to you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6206166) |
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Date: July 27th, 2006 7:02 AM Author: mahogany electric indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6311944) |
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Date: July 28th, 2006 1:03 AM Author: razzle site french chef omg, like a total classic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6319929) |
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Date: August 4th, 2006 4:00 PM Author: translucent garrison marketing idea (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6378076) |
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Date: September 18th, 2006 2:12 AM Author: indigo spot Bumped for the new HLS crowd (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6634097) |
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Date: October 1st, 2006 12:41 AM Author: passionate police squad (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6707125) |
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Date: October 1st, 2006 12:54 AM Author: Bateful Parlor kickass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6707261) |
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Date: October 5th, 2006 2:05 AM Author: Dashing bull headed reading party bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6731837) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 12:21 PM Author: violent orange mad cow disease native It's always appropriate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6749647) |
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Date: October 13th, 2006 5:25 PM Author: Bateful Parlor It's back. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6783087) |
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Date: October 30th, 2006 6:50 PM Author: flatulent khaki step-uncle's house 171 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#6887990) |
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Date: November 19th, 2006 3:56 PM Author: Bespoke rehab cuckold (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7026889) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:56 PM Author: high-end pozpig (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215123) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:56 PM Author: aphrodisiac outnumbered deer antler got any more 'nuggets' for us, or just riding out the old glory? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215129) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:58 PM Author: high-end pozpig I live in the past... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215142) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:00 PM Author: bistre principal's office generalized bond NIGGER. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215156) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:01 PM Author: high-end pozpig ching chang chong. ding. dang....dong. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215168) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 11:06 PM Author: bistre principal's office generalized bond haha, real creative nigger (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215199) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:57 PM Author: Bronze thriller hissy fit "The coffee had the intended shitogenic effect." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215139) |
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Date: December 13th, 2006 10:59 PM Author: aphrodisiac outnumbered deer antler "It looked like a chicken sacrifice had taken place." is clearly the better line (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7215148) |
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Date: December 18th, 2006 4:05 AM Author: domesticated brunch rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7248689) |
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Date: December 18th, 2006 4:06 AM Author: lemon zippy selfie box office who bumped this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7248702) |
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Date: December 31st, 2006 9:55 PM Author: crystalline gas station potus . (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7326077) |
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Date: December 31st, 2006 9:57 PM Author: Cobalt school cafeteria THIS IS OUR COUNTRY (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7326080) |
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Date: January 13th, 2007 7:56 AM Author: Supple Library doot doot doot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7410348) |
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Date: January 13th, 2007 2:52 PM Author: Supple Library agreed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7411223) |
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Date: February 6th, 2007 12:30 AM Author: Light low-t dilemma legal warrant my favorite post ever (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7552137) |
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Date: March 5th, 2007 1:30 AM Author: Supple Library (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7710299) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:24 AM Author: honey-headed resort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7720473) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:52 AM Author: wine market pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7720912) |
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Date: March 15th, 2007 11:37 AM Author: Silver shaky location prole love (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7757968) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: lime nibblets (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7905148) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:55 AM Author: know-it-all razzmatazz state degenerate still epic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#7905219) |
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Date: April 26th, 2007 9:56 PM Author: slate aromatic point goyim Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8013346) |
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Date: May 3rd, 2007 10:42 PM Author: Swashbuckling Heaven Travel Guidebook Bump for GTO's hiring committee. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8056755) |
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Date: May 20th, 2007 11:16 AM Author: chartreuse university feces (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8143610) |
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Date: May 20th, 2007 12:29 PM Author: Violet Stock Car WGWAG (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8143777) |
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Date: June 16th, 2007 3:24 AM Author: arousing pearl theater Damn this is offensive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8262159) |
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Date: July 12th, 2007 9:47 PM Author: Mind-boggling Mentally Impaired Pocket Flask Halford (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8375793) |
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Date: July 12th, 2007 9:48 PM Author: Chrome electric furnace partner quality bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8375801) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: Marvelous Parlour b (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436236) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:24 AM Author: thirsty adulterous hall death wish why on earth did you bump this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436240) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Marvelous Parlour the fuck is your problem?? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8436245) |
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Date: July 26th, 2007 1:25 AM Author: Dashing bull headed reading party alabamajd
RIP |
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Date: August 10th, 2007 12:33 AM Author: Sinister cyan really tough guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8497230) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2007 8:56 PM Author: Glittery Confused Kitchen Oh yes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8801480) |
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Date: November 27th, 2007 10:59 PM Author: Nudist Menage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8944938) |
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Date: November 30th, 2007 7:08 PM Author: Beady-eyed hilarious ratface this really isn't very nice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#8958246) |
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Date: January 1st, 2008 12:00 AM Author: Haunting milk mood (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9095396) |
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Date: January 29th, 2008 10:40 PM Author: aquamarine casino community account this community account should be deleted... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9241452) |
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Date: January 29th, 2008 10:42 PM Author: aquamarine casino community account i beg to differ, whokebe. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9241465) |
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Date: February 7th, 2008 7:27 PM Author: Hyperactive twinkling uncleanness *sprinkles pubes* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9289106) |
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Date: February 7th, 2008 7:29 PM Author: Stimulating Crimson Dysfunction lolFUCKINtastic, fuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9289108) |
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Date: February 7th, 2008 7:45 PM Author: diverse jap Someone should edit this down to fewer words and make it their Yale 250. Like a 4.0 178 or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9289174) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2008 9:35 PM Author: aquamarine casino community account i think i saw this happen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#9423498) |
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Date: September 10th, 2008 4:37 PM Author: hairraiser old irish cottage mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=142848&forum_id=2#10146653) |