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Rate my biglaw aspieness
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Date: March 16th, 2012 8:38 PM Author: Dull Bonkers Location Here's my story:
Grew up in a lower middle class neighborhood in a small town. Not really ghetto, but there were alot of wiggers and heavy influence of hip hop. Always had friends who talked ebonics (some non ghetto blacks, some whites) so I naturally spoke like them. It was never really a problem throughout high school and college as I'd always find people who I could connect with. I'm always down to hang out with a chill frat bro, but I always gravitated towards ghetto (for a lack of a better word) people.
This started to become a problem in law school. I went to a T14, so I found many of my classmates to be uptight and didn't really connect with them. I had 2-3 close friends, who were WASPY types that were tolerant of the way I speak, dress, and the music i listen to. But i avoided most social events because I just hated the culture.
Once I got to biglaw, the problem grew exponentially. I don't have any true friends, always eat lunch alone, and just generally don't feel welcome. I'm good at the work I do, and haven't had a problem from that end. The problem is just making small talk with the uptight white partners and associates who come from yuppie backgrounds. I can sit and talk about work with anyone at the firm for 30 mins no problem, but when it comes to non-work conservations, I curl up in a ball.
I really can't keep up a normal conversation aside from the initial "Hi, How are you." If I am going to an important client meeting, I dread the car ride over with the partner/sr associate more than my work responsibilities at the meeting. Elevator rides are fucking terrifying to me.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I always feel like I'm searching for something to say when making small talk and something stupid always comes out. I just don't connect with these uptight biglaw whiteys, and am terrible at carrying on a convo.
To all you upper/middle class white bros, what do you like to talk about other than being fine gentlemwen and meeting up with Jared, Becky, Karen, and Aiden after work? |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 8:44 PM Author: Avocado boyish bawdyhouse just holla at dem fools, whaddup shawty, badonkadonk yny (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20223397) |
Date: March 16th, 2012 8:43 PM Author: rebellious love of her life area awful flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20223391) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 8:47 PM Author: marvelous rigor national "non-work conservations* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20223420) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 8:53 PM Author: Dull Bonkers Location those unrelated to client billable matters (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20223482) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 8:57 PM Author: topaz painfully honest hissy fit roommate typical convo: “Civilization’s going to pieces. I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read ‘The Rise of the Colored Empires’ by this man Goddard?" Well, it’s a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don’t look out the white race will be — will be utterly submerged. It’s all scientific stuff; it’s been proved." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20223524) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 9:52 PM Author: Autistic mahogany hospital jap one fucking eighty, old sport (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224038) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 10:42 PM Author: brindle den they do a lot of nibbling at the edges of stale ideas (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224348) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 11:52 PM Author: Carnelian laughsome sandwich parlor I can't believe that girl dumped you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224722) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 6:59 PM Author: navy organic girlfriend pisswyrm great gatsby english's best short novel--perfect for anyone turning 30 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20229488) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 10:38 PM Author: abusive coral piazza pistol golf (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224330) |
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Date: March 16th, 2012 11:51 PM Author: Bateful sapphire sweet tailpipe office wut (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224718) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:23 AM Author: Electric Trump Supporter how do you feel around blacks? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224925) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:38 AM Author: Dull Bonkers Location we usually get along really well, as long as they are civilized human beings. like most of this board im not a big fan of the nonsense N's (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224989) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:28 AM Author: Demanding abode SPORTS bro. connect with them through SPORTS. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224951) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:37 AM Author: Dull Bonkers Location im a well versed sports bro, just never comes up with convos with partners (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20224983) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:42 AM Author: Demanding abode be proactive and bring it up with them 1st. talk to them about the ncaa tourney, or recent nfl trades while in the car with them or whatever.
come on man. stop making excuses |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 12:44 AM Author: Dull Bonkers Location these guys dont seem like they watch sports. theyre always talking about fine wines and traveling, two things i have no appreciation for (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20225017) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 3:25 AM Author: bright center two things
1) - pick a prole practice group and switch (bankruptcy) 2) - sports (as noted above, every goddamn faggot in the world likes sports) 3) - everyone eats alone because big law folks are fucking insane. 4) - remember that they are just your co-workers, so who gives a fuck. |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 9:07 AM Author: Razzmatazz Cruise Ship the easiest elevator talk is just to ask open ended questions. you let people talk about themselves and they think you're a great conversationalist.
e.g.- how have you been? how was your weekend? what are you up to this weekend? what are you working on these days? any travel plans for the spring/summer?
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Date: March 17th, 2012 11:30 AM Author: Dull Bonkers Location good advice ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20226252) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 1:46 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle box office this. follow with a context-specific follow up question to show you were listening. I'm somewhat similar in how i relate to biglaw people (not a wigger, but have grimy friends who I still hang out with), and I am well liked because I just talk about sports and ask people about topics they've previously talked to me about. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20226912) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 1:56 PM Author: orchid kitchen half-breed Your problem is not being a prole, it's that you're obtuse and have asperbergers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20226943) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 2:20 PM Author: Low-t station This.
I come from a similar background to OP and have had no problems making friends in law school or at my big firm.
Also, what kind of firm has partners who don't like sports and only talk about fucking wine? Is that how NYC firms are? Move to a chiller city, bro. |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 2:59 PM Author: Stimulating Chestnut Field Turdskin Obvious flame law firms? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20227225) |
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Date: March 17th, 2012 9:05 PM Author: Translucent jew well the good thing is that you don't have to talk about things unrelated to work often, if at all, and it's perfectly acceptable to eat alone at your desk while working. the elevator bullshit is horrible, though, so i avoid getting on with people who might try to talk to me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1899602&forum_id=2#20230623) |