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Real SHiTLAW stories ITT
| Harsh Gay Wizard | 04/25/12 |
| supple shitlib | 04/25/12 |
| citrine galvanic indian lodge | 04/25/12 |
| aquamarine disturbing chapel | 04/25/12 |
| jade flatulent sandwich | 04/25/12 |
| confused striped hyena | 04/25/12 |
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| Purple provocative death wish personal credit line | 04/26/12 |
| trip ultramarine karate | 11/21/12 |
| Iridescent odious deer antler | 12/05/14 |
| Peach erotic pervert son of senegal | 04/25/12 |
| maroon crawly step-uncle's house sex offender | 04/26/12 |
| pink theatre | 07/26/12 |
| nighttime sanctuary degenerate | 07/20/12 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 04/26/12 |
| Deranged Dashing Trust Fund Space | 04/26/12 |
| Purple provocative death wish personal credit line | 04/26/12 |
| Mustard brethren really tough guy | 04/26/12 |
| Puce Round Eye | 04/26/12 |
| Khaki locale | 04/26/12 |
| Hideous Jet Institution Boltzmann | 04/26/12 |
| Claret heady trailer park coldplay fan | 04/26/12 |
| amber vivacious faggot firefighter | 04/26/12 |
| Marvelous Macaca Background Story | 04/26/12 |
| anal appetizing mood property | 07/20/12 |
| Exhilarant Dull Site Circlehead | 07/20/12 |
| Mauve Big Bawdyhouse Pocket Flask | 07/25/12 |
| bisexual sweet tailpipe | 02/15/13 |
| Turquoise windowlicker | 02/15/13 |
| laughsome elite corner associate | 02/15/13 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 12/05/14 |
| flushed cracking water buffalo | 04/15/20 |
| chrome stirring home partner | 07/20/12 |
| passionate pea-brained abode | 07/20/12 |
| 180 pearly philosopher-king | 07/25/12 |
| aphrodisiac henna business firm | 02/15/13 |
| Grizzly school cafeteria crotch | 07/20/12 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 07/25/12 |
| Mahogany station candlestick maker | 07/25/12 |
| insane school | 02/15/13 |
| Mauve Big Bawdyhouse Pocket Flask | 07/25/12 |
| cerebral unhinged resort mental disorder | 07/25/12 |
| Exciting lake rigor volcanic crater | 07/25/12 |
| Harsh Gay Wizard | 07/25/12 |
| Razzle-dazzle pontificating lodge immigrant | 07/26/12 |
| bisexual sweet tailpipe | 02/15/13 |
| Doobsian curious field | 02/16/13 |
| vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete | 02/16/13 |
| emerald crackhouse digit ratio | 07/26/12 |
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| plum spectacular nursing home community account | 07/26/12 |
| emerald crackhouse digit ratio | 07/26/12 |
| Onyx razzmatazz stead | 11/21/12 |
| pink theatre | 07/26/12 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 11/21/12 |
| racy forum | 11/21/12 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 11/21/12 |
| Onyx razzmatazz stead | 11/21/12 |
| racy forum | 11/21/12 |
| Brilliant Charismatic Stock Car Senate | 02/15/13 |
| Tan Bespoke Roast Beef | 04/15/20 |
| swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone | 02/15/13 |
| bisexual sweet tailpipe | 02/15/13 |
| swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone | 02/15/13 |
| Electric Spot | 02/15/13 |
| multi-colored federal messiness | 02/16/13 |
| vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete | 02/16/13 |
| contagious seedy masturbator orchestra pit | 02/15/13 |
| infuriating stage feces | 02/15/13 |
| Stimulating House-broken Area | 02/16/13 |
| swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone | 02/16/13 |
| Doobsian curious field | 02/16/13 |
| vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete | 02/16/13 |
| Doobsian curious field | 02/16/13 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 11/22/13 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 01/31/14 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 07/29/14 |
| bright bateful laser beams native | 07/09/23 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 25th, 2012 10:43 PM Author: Harsh Gay Wizard Dood I know works in SHiTLAW. At his "firm," the associates are required to sign and put their time of arrival/departure on a sign-in sheet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548754) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:02 PM Author: supple shitlib I believe this is so the receptionist will know whether or not to route calls to them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548940) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:06 PM Author: citrine galvanic indian lodge nice call (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548984) |
Date: April 25th, 2012 10:45 PM Author: aquamarine disturbing chapel secretary/paralegal/receptionist at my shitlaw seriously doesn't know how to attached documents to emails. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548772) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:04 PM Author: jade flatulent sandwich That's business as usual in $hitlaw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548959) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:05 PM Author: confused striped hyena I did an interview at SHITLAW and they had plastic chairs in the lobby (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548971) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:07 PM Author: aquamarine disturbing chapel mine bought all the furniture used from a local school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548992) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 9:46 AM Author: Purple provocative death wish personal credit line does your partner sit in a chair like this? http://www.theofficeleader.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ProductID=4899 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551822) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:32 AM Author: trip ultramarine karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22088904) |
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Date: December 5th, 2014 11:59 AM Author: Iridescent odious deer antler (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#26863850) |
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Date: April 25th, 2012 11:05 PM Author: Peach erotic pervert son of senegal to be fair, the niggers who work as secretaries at my biglaw firm are dumb as shit. my secretary is fucking stupid as hell, and I barely trust her with anything. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20548967) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 12:42 AM Author: maroon crawly step-uncle's house sex offender fuck you and your pathetic life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20549911) |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:53 AM Author: pink theatre he's right. the partners get all the good secretaries. associates are left with 20 yr old single moms (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21180103) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:58 PM Author: nighttime sanctuary degenerate how is this possible ite? friction? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21132588) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 9:40 AM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551804) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 9:46 AM Author: Deranged Dashing Trust Fund Space LOLOLOL. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551823) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 9:52 AM Author: Purple provocative death wish personal credit line lololololol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551849) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 9:52 AM Author: Mustard brethren really tough guy wow (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551850) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 10:04 AM Author: Puce Round Eye 180 whether it is a flame or not. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551901) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 10:17 AM Author: Khaki locale seems right. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20551953) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 10:28 AM Author: Hideous Jet Institution Boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20552026) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 10:29 AM Author: Claret heady trailer park coldplay fan rofl (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20552030) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 11:23 AM Author: amber vivacious faggot firefighter artistry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20552302) |
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Date: April 26th, 2012 1:37 PM Author: Marvelous Macaca Background Story Holy shit. Awesome if flame, even more awesome if true. A true 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#20553156) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:26 PM Author: anal appetizing mood property (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21132286) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:57 PM Author: Exhilarant Dull Site Circlehead LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21132575) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 3:40 PM Author: Mauve Big Bawdyhouse Pocket Flask did they call you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21172949) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:42 PM Author: bisexual sweet tailpipe this post seems pretty authentic from what i've seen of shitlaw. i had to take a wonderlic for an in house job so it's not that unheard of. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22645931) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 4:05 PM Author: Turquoise windowlicker lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22646086) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 6:45 PM Author: laughsome elite corner associate still funny after reading it the fifth time (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22646932) |
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Date: December 5th, 2014 11:50 AM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#26863815) |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 11:49 AM Author: flushed cracking water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#40019402) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:20 PM Author: chrome stirring home partner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21132219) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:25 PM Author: passionate pea-brained abode One morning while driving past a local shitlaw office which is directly next to a dive bar and some crummy apartments I saw the shitlawyer bend over to remove a paper bag that had been left on the stoop. The bag broke and a number of beer bottles fell out and shattered at his feet. The bag was apparently soggy because he then proceeded to shake his hands in the air. He was still kicking glass away from the step when the light changed and I drove away. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21132275) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 3:35 PM Author: 180 pearly philosopher-king I feel like this image will stay with me forever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21172903) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:22 PM Author: aphrodisiac henna business firm lol 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22645805) |
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Date: July 20th, 2012 4:50 PM Author: Grizzly school cafeteria crotch i just walked in on my judge sleeping on a couch next to my desk, wrapped up in a pastel dinosaur blanket.
continued to work quietly for 30 minutes before he woke up. |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 3:31 PM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21172855) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 3:32 PM Author: Mahogany station candlestick maker ^ alcee hastings clerk (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21172872) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:08 PM Author: insane school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22645663) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 3:49 PM Author: Mauve Big Bawdyhouse Pocket Flask I was a summer associate at a shitlaw ID firm in law school. They made all attorneys and summers write everything by dictation--including letters, memos, briefs, etc. We were even supposed to dictate small things like notes and timesheets. If I typed something myself (for example, when I had a deadline or did some work at home) the partners would get seriously pissed off if they found out. We had to give our tapes to a secretary at the end of the day, wait for her to type it up (sometimes a day or two), then hand-write all corrections for her to make (which usually took another day or two). |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 4:05 PM Author: cerebral unhinged resort mental disorder Way to cop dem billables (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21173237) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 4:09 PM Author: Exciting lake rigor volcanic crater What was the reason for this process? I work at a firm with a partner that does this, but he is probably in his 60s. I figured the guy could not kick the habit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21173293) |
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Date: July 25th, 2012 4:10 PM Author: Harsh Gay Wizard Did you have to dictate your own emails? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21173302) |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:30 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle pontificating lodge immigrant It's supposed to make you a better courtroom presenter but writing memos in this fashion would be pointless. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21179961) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:45 PM Author: bisexual sweet tailpipe i have this EXACT same story...except i didn't dictate SHIT and ended up getting no-offered. now i make more than what they would have paid me for less than 2/3 of the hours they would have expected.
i don't even see how it's POSSIBLE to dictate a good memo or brief, that just isn't how legal writing is done. |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 9:19 AM Author: Doobsian curious field I worked for a dude who used dictation and always pressured me to. On the rare occasion he wrote a brief it was a rambling mess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22649708) |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 1:18 PM Author: vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete I've heard old-school lawyers say dictating memos and briefs is how you learn to do oral argument: it's a skill that requires you to formulate an argument in your head before you say it out loud. Seems legit.
Not defending this shitlaw firm's practices, of course. |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:36 AM Author: emerald crackhouse digit ratio shitlaw interview
interviewed at 8 at night. it was dark. everyone was gone. it was creepy
the office was a mess, not professional looking at all and looked like it was in a time warp
instead of saying anything positive about the position, he only said negative things about the position.
he didn't ask many questions but one of his questions was how much i thought i should get paid which i think is a pretty good indicator of a place being shitlaw. if they ask an entry level that |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:50 AM Author: diverse primrose brunch At least 65 percent of legal practice is like working in a health clinic but instead of People, it's books that have never been cracked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21180089) |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:56 AM Author: plum spectacular nursing home community account Interviewed at a shitlaw firm. Top 5%, HYS, LR. Did it because I basically mass mailed ever NALP firm my 2L year in my hometown. They only pay 110K, so pretty shitty.
First interviewer sits me down and stars immediately trying to gape my resume and ask me why I want to work at that firm. I LOL and realize that I'm probably the first decent applicant they've had in years. Play it off like this guy's just jealous. After our 30 minute time as he's walking me to the next interviewer, he tells me he's sorry but that his boss made him be the stress interviewer today. I tell him it's ok because I'm not gonna pick their firm anyway. He slumps away sadly. |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:59 AM Author: emerald crackhouse digit ratio i don't think that is shitlaw. shitlaw pays half that at least (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21180137) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:38 AM Author: Onyx razzmatazz stead 110k? Nalp? doesn't sound like shit law at all man. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22088934) |
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Date: July 26th, 2012 1:56 AM Author: pink theatre one office i visited had SUPERLAWYER certificates for like 20+ yrs all framed and lining the waiting room. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#21180119) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 10:52 AM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22088742) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:19 AM Author: racy forum 1) Drove 3.5 hrs for interview with a 3 man firm. The city is 45 min OUTSIDE of a tertiary city in the state. So that should let you know how SHITLAW this is.
Talk to the Partner - who by the plethora of Vote for XYZ signs laying around his office had unsuccessfully run for State office - and he told me about the practice and how they handle Habeus cases for the State and some PI work. Highlight had to be when he asked me about salary.
Him: What number did you have in mind.
Me: Well, since I'm new I really don't have a set salary in mind, I'm more focused on getting good experience and learning how to be a lawyer.
Him: C'mon, I know you have a number in mind. Put it out there.
Me: Ok, $60,000
Him: . . .yeah, that's a bit higher than what we normally pay here.
Me: *awkwardness*
Needless to say, 4 weeks later I got the rejection letter in the mail.
Oh, and I didn't get reimbursed for gas either. |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:32 AM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22088902) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:39 AM Author: Onyx razzmatazz stead what is a tertiary city? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22088941) |
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Date: November 21st, 2012 11:48 AM Author: racy forum http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tertiary (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22089001) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 4:23 PM Author: Brilliant Charismatic Stock Car Senate $10 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22646184) |
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Date: April 15th, 2020 12:32 PM Author: Tan Bespoke Roast Beef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#40019652) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:28 PM Author: swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone i work in a shitlaw firm. I have a 30 inch S-IPS monitor on my desk and 2 $5000 servers used as workstations (one is converted to a game machine with a 7900 radeon video card) as well as a $1500 office chair i sit on. additionally the office has a full fridge, cooking range, two microwaves and allows games to be played during the day. i also come to work in my underwear sometimes. hours are 10am to 4pm or take off when you want.
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:50 PM Author: bisexual sweet tailpipe sounds remarkably like my job except i am the tertiary office of a midlaw firm and have a way better computer than you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22645985) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 4:17 PM Author: swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone i dont think you have a 48 CPU system with 512GB of RAM but keep dreaming.
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Date: February 15th, 2013 3:55 PM Author: Electric Spot Reminds of those stories areyouinsane posted on TLS.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1695190&forum_id=2 |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 12:10 PM Author: multi-colored federal messiness jfc, /thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22650009) |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 1:36 PM Author: vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete Wow. I remember reading these a long time ago, and they're worth revisiting. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22650257) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 6:15 PM Author: contagious seedy masturbator orchestra pit interviewed to be a legal assistant at a shitlaw firm between undergrad and ls. the partner who interviewed me had an oil painting of himself hung in a huge, gaudy frame in his office. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22646808) |
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Date: February 15th, 2013 6:43 PM Author: infuriating stage feces holy shit, did you interview at the law offices of joseph ducreux as well? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22646920) |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 9:55 AM Author: Stimulating House-broken Area Interviewed at a "firm" that was in a house. No sign out because they didnt have a commercial permit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22649731) |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 12:33 PM Author: swashbuckling vengeful box office telephone yep. mine doesnt have a sign out either.
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Date: February 16th, 2013 12:37 PM Author: Doobsian curious field i worked for a few years in a firm i guess you would have to call shitlaw (i got paid pretty well and it was a decent practice area but it was working for a solo with an AOL email addy. quasi-shitlaw i guess).
my boss was a 70+ year old dude and sexually harassed me all the time. he got legitimately mad when i didn't go for his idea that we should sleep in the same bed, not hotel room, bed. he also asked me once when we were out of town and i stopped by his room to talk about a case if i wanted him to perform" on me. i was like "lol no. goodnight." i have probably 1000 stories about this type of shit. |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 1:20 PM Author: vigorous famous landscape painting keepsake machete If you were a lawyer, you might conclude this was sexual harassment. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22650184) |
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Date: February 16th, 2013 5:50 PM Author: Doobsian curious field wat (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#22651166) |
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Date: November 22nd, 2013 10:50 AM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#24488568) |
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Date: January 31st, 2014 2:19 PM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#24932008) |
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Date: July 29th, 2014 12:49 PM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#26022063) |
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Date: July 9th, 2023 6:24 PM Author: bright bateful laser beams native (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1933277&forum_id=2#46528820) |