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Roberts, Breyer, Ginsburg, Soto and Kagan enter to Ruff Ryders'
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 28th, 2012 9:17 PM
Reversed - not! Don't like the avoidance canon? Suck our cocks Oh, no-o, that's the judicial role
[Roberts]
Who the fuck is this You never thought I'd make the switch Me and Scalia are like Biggie and Lil Cease, Just 'Me and My Bitch' Reviews of my opinion are so generous They say I'm such a feminist MFF with a Jew and an Hispanic, both lesbians Isn't this so great? My wife gets off on restraint I thought I fucking told you, modesty is my defining trait The press corps's sniffing my junk Erin Burnett thinks I'm a hunk Oh wait, there's a catch - This opinion contains everything Barnett would ever want Revived coercion doctrine Activity/inactivity concoction No more Necessary and Proper Clause It's like a brand new Lochner Now Romney supporters are jumpin They say this is a crucial junction In our nation's history Obama, get ready for a tubthumpin Just think what I can decide With Kavanaugh and Eid Poor old Professor Tribe Will commit suicide
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Date: June 28th, 2012 9:40 PM
What the fuck did I sign? What is this coercion/extortion line Maybe if I spent less time Applying Coase For Dummies to the pimples on my behind I wouldn't have signed this shit I wouldn't have taken a hit From the Chief's bong for Jesus Damn, he's one pretty clean-cut bitch Pimped hoes in the 213 Copped that LLB Deregulated the airline industry Now I craft 4-part hypos while listening to Lil B Counsel never understand Sometimes I think I look like an ampersand How'd I get on this Court where the one black guy loves Ayn Rand? I just want what makes good sense Pragmatic jurisprudence is the best Fuck these formalists mucking up shit with doctrinal nonsense Law's about what's in reason To everything a season Once I was young and handsome for a Jew, Now my bald head is covered with lesions My clerks fret about this and that line New doctrinal lines I just look at the bottom line 50 million Americans insured, it's fine
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Date: June 28th, 2012 9:54 PM
Chicas, I don't understand Did we reverse, affirm, remand? Reporters are going ham (Sniff-sniff) Is that contraband? Still a trial judge at heart Suppression hearings are such a lark I don't understand, these dark con law arts I just follow Ruth She's so nice, and so shrewd Caselaw gets me in a cranky mood Aunt Ruthie will tell me what to do 'Cause I'm a wise Latina I'm resented Criticize my opinions, I'll be racially offended Counsel always ignore my questions 'Cause they're kind of demented I just know the act was upheld and that's so nice Good sensation feeling, like chicken and rice Now Uncle Paco will have free healthcare; he always wears Old Spice |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:04 PM
Hell to the fucking no This really is a low blow The Chief tried to take out Article I like Puffy did Shyne Po This really is so shiesty Dude should be acting nicely Why doesn't he appreciate My kugel and sweet iced tea? Motherfucking goyim What shitty fucking lawyas Alito hires clerks that are Hoyas and yesterday Soto walks up to me and says "le choy-im" Trying to relate That bitch is so second-rate Gotta get back home, seance with Louis Brandeis, congregate We've got to set it straight, I'll win this constitutional debate What?? Kagan joined Roberts on the Spending Clause?? Maybe Virginia Thomas helps her masturbate
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:07 PM
someone needs to make a track and upload to youtube, it would get picked up by a few blogs at least |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:14 PM
Hey Grandma, hold the fuck up Step to me, you'll need some luck Took you about a hundred years to get to SCOTUS Took me about two months You stay in your lane I'm playing the long game If I join with Roberts today Maybe in ten years I'll gain By then you'll be dead What a little zed Thurgood once told me, "munch her carpet, she'll munch yours," yes that's what he said Got Roberts's vote in exchange for some concessions Now Obama will win the elections Then the Senate will confirm your and Nino's replacement In subsequent congressional sessions Then I'll be the leader, yeah fucking right Roberts will be marginalized I'll effectively be the first Chief Justice that was a dike You just wait, you'll see I'll be borne out by history You'll be looking down from Jew heaven as the Court belongs to me |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:30 PM
[Thomas]
Aiyyo, young girls want to suck, married women want to cuck DC hostesses want to fuck, libs see me and duck All for dat BBC, sucking on DDD's, hiring cute clerks from TTT's, and never saying a single peep My dissents always be the wildest, though sometimes a little childish I resort to judicial violence - REAL NIGGAS MOVE IN SILENCE Yeah, I know all about that Robert Cover, your bitch says I favor Danny Glover, The framers didn't like obscenity But that don't mean I can't take your girl's throat, my BBC and smother What the fuck you gon' do, when Antonin and me run up on you Your doctrines we run through, then I harass your bitch too Stackin up them dictionaries, law's like a game of Pictionary You a shitlib fairy, and your bitch be looking hairy Invalidate some congressional acts, then chill with Marion Barry and smoke some crack Call me 'token' and I blow out your bitch's back Now that's an affirmative act
(Alito)
(Uh, uh, um, yo, yo yo yo, yo, um, yeah) Court-watchers say I'm aspie, my voice sounds a little raspy Luttig bombed his interview so Bush asked me, at least I'm not a Marxist, Harold Laski Well, you can overlook me, it's alright, I take long walks by myself at night Then flex my limited rhetorical might and write ten-page dicta pwning you out of spite Though I do kind of resent it, that when Scalia writes no one cares that Alito dissented, or reads a single sentence Just to get attention I have to decide questions that weren't presented Don't much like the First Amendment, except when it would leave unions upended Or make shitlibs mad and scream 'horrendous!' To the death, corporate speech I'll defend it What does a guido have to do to get prestigious? Do I have to go on Regis? Oh, he's not on TV anymore, guess I'll just have to rest my faith in Jesus Giving cookies to the Chief, and the finest Italian meats Prosciutto and special kinds of sicilian beef, then those choice assignments I'll reap
[Kennedy]
Yo yo yo, it's the realest nigga People say I'm hard to figga The rep keeps growing bigga Profs following my moves like jigga I meditate like Hamlet My opinions run the gamut Decide the hottest issues of the day Over a PB and jelly sandwich Pondering the mysteries of life I cite some Bork and then some Fiss Put an end to pro-choice, pro-life strife I'm the Big Cheese and you're blind mice Let you faggots bone, saved kids from execution till they're grown Put Bush under that Capitol Dome, you niggas better watch the throne Cite me your best case quick, give me a limiting principle that'll stick Haven't you heard that I'm the shit? Even got Steve Reinhardt suck-sucking my dick (no homo) All about that liberty, mixed with some sovereign dignity A little equality, and lots of credit for me Corporate equality? Healthcare that's for free? State sovereignty? It all comes down to me, your Honor, Kennedy
[Roberts]
Yo, all hail to the Chief
I'm from the heartland where we raise tons of head of beef
Then I come to SCOTUS
and pwn habeas petitioners named Lateef
Started out in private practice
Took the nation's greatest lawyers to the mattress
Then I turned to Paul Clement and was like
"Lil breh, you can have this"
Front all like I'm kind
Like precedent I'm behind
Then I take your civil rights movement
and hold down and press rewind
Racial classification's so sordid
Executions so morbid
That's why I love AEDPA so much
So them I don't have to forbid
Deferential review
It's the thing to do
No injury in fact?
Ding fag, no standing for you
Heightened pleading standards
for ragheads whom I abhor
We're shutting the courthouse doors
to all you shitlib whores
Lower court judges disobey?
like Reinhardt and Eric Clay?
I summarily reverse your lives
Like Uday and Qusay
You libs don't understand
While you're building castles in the sand
I just overrule decades of precedent
and grant, vacate, remand
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Date: June 28th, 2012 11:52 PM legit laughed out loud at least six times. |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 9:30 AM
Now that's an affirmative act "
180 does not do this post justice |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:32 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:32 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:35 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:41 PM
Reversed - not! Don't like the avoidance canon? Suck our cock Oh, no-o, that's the judicial role |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:35 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:38 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 10:42 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 11:22 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 11:25 PM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 1:19 AM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 11:45 PM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 3:50 AM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 8:01 PM |
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Date: June 28th, 2012 11:52 PM |
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Date: July 2nd, 2012 9:01 AM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 3:55 AM |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 8:39 PM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 8:53 AM |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 9:04 AM
They want to strike ACA, but I ask on what grounds
Don't mess with this bitch even though I'm ninety pounds
Hot shot lawyers be callin' me a shrew
But I be damn smart, don't forget I'm a Jew
To vaccuum out babby at nine months is mighty fine
When reptiles object I say don't you dare draw that line
Affirmative action, public funding for the arts
I say it's all good, here's some more Jew farts |
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Date: June 29th, 2012 9:42 AM |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 9:45 AM |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 11:19 AM |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 9:37 PM |
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Date: July 1st, 2012 10:20 PM |
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Date: July 3rd, 2012 1:15 AM
Oh hello there Jan, It is I, Kennedy the Grand Decider of all Things in This Fair Free Land Or at least I used to be Till Roberts stole that title from me Guess someone was jealous of my cover shoot on T-I-M-E* While Thomas was macking on O.P.P. and Scalia was suffering from PMS plus PTSD On whose broad shoulders do you think it fell to re-persuade the Chief? The question answers itself For a month I fought like hell But enough was enough and K-E-Double-N just had to go for self Can't help but remind myself of Hamlet in Act 4, Scene 5 I'm just a moderate nigga trying to keep his reputation alive So tell your readers how on federalism A-K always stayed the same And don't forget to block-quote my eloquent op in Alden v. Maine** When it comes to this swing vote rap, I'm like Biggie and Shaq - You Can't Stop the Reign Oh and Jan, Thomas wants me to ask if you're single 'cause he saw you changed your name
** "Kennedy also is strong on issues of federalism - and is remarkably consistent. His opinion in a 1999 case, Alden v. Maine, is considered one of the Court's finest in that area. Ruling that states were immune from private lawsuits in state courts, Kennedy wrote: "Sovereign immunity derives not from the Eleventh Amendment but from the federal structure of the original Constitution itself."" - Jan Crawford, http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3460_162-57464549/roberts-switched-views-to-uphold-health-care-law/?pageNum=3&tag=contentMain;contentBody |