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God, I Am So Prestigious
No URM "rocks" the LSAT.
Right, because that would be genetically impossible. There w...
miranda v.i.
No need to rub it in.
That was fucking really funny.
Pimp on Wheels
Hey, this is actually pretty damn good.
chancemeeting (ret. - except radiohead threads)
Has xoxohth.com jumped the shark?
Day of doom By Raffi Melkonian Published: Thursday, March ...
What a garbled mess.
A Simple Asian Man
I know that fatass
I am thinking of aurochs and angels
IRL, how stupid is he?
A Simple Asian Man
He's very intelligent but pretentious.
I am thinking of aurochs and angels
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=510335 Net Ef...
Great Teacher Onizuka
Standing up for homeschools LANCASTER NEW ERA (LANCASTER, PA...
Great Teacher Onizuka
http://www.law.mcgill.ca/quid/archive/2005/05110809.html ...
Great Teacher Onizuka
NY SCENE REPORT Bob Blotnick A few years ago, while br...
A Simple Asian Man
I clicked on this thread just to make sure this was here. Go...
Extreme Fajitas
Just trying to keep tradition alive.
A Simple Asian Man
Me too.
In Soviet Russia, Rule 12 violates YOU!
what a disturbing classic. The detail involved in this- what...
Great Teacher Onizuka
Great Teacher Onizuka
NEILLSVILLE, Wis. (AP) — A 64-year-old man has pleaded no co...
Brined Turkey
omg hilarious
i fucking knew it.
Are there any new submissions?
Mobi -- please post the source of your articles.
They're there. HL Record and Boston Globe.
The update
Rocco Siffredi
this is on snopes.com as I recall, as part of their embarass...
45 yo man posting from Filene's basement
This line never fails to get me: "The car, the money...
done and done
Mr. Buck's Wild Ride The passenger was dead, and more tha...
Date: October 30, 2003 07:02 AM Author: .milkbag. Su...
Stop clogging this useful thread with articles that aren't a...
People already ruined the thread with their off-topic posts ...
Date: February 15th, 2006 2:52 AM Author: staplesflow ...
PVC/Peak Oil Conversion Story
Homeless Man Set on Fire in Boston Park By ANDREW RYAN, A...
Police: Suspect Planned to Eat Okla. Girl http://news.ya...
"This appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a p...
you mean you would? savage.
Irate Preacher Al-Zarqawi
Jarret Cohen = GTO??
Area man charged with bestiality Tuesday, October 24, 2...
wow man.
A Simple Asian Man
Looks like it's time for some additions.
...mobiusnu... [visiting]

Poast new message in this thread

Date: January 20th, 2006 1:46 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)
Subject: God, I Am So Prestigious

God, I Am So Prestigious

By: Andrea Saenz

Issue date: 1/19/06 Section: Opinion

After four months at Harvard Law School and an embarrassing number of hours reading the can't-look-away train wreck of a message board at xoxohth.com, I have come to realize that there is only one true goal in life: to become prestigious. Really prestigious. When I walk into a room, I want people to say, "I heard she has a Scalia clerkship lined up 3 years in advance. I heard she bet her entire section $1000 she'd win the 2008 Fay Diploma and no one would take the bet. I hear she's the new litigation partner at Quinn."

In light of this, I am reorganizing my entire life. Gone are my public interest goals; public interest is highly unprestigious. I even asked Roger Pao if I could change my title to "Editor of Prestige," but he was huddled in the corner of the Record office writing a sonnet in the margins of a Fed Courts textbook, and I don't think he heard me. Public interest, and especially legal services, which I was sort of getting into, is the "third tier toilet" of legal goals; instead, I will stop at nothing to work at Wachtell or Cravath.

Remember that "I Was a Firm Widow" editorial I wrote? Now that I've guilted my husband into turning down his Vault 15 offer (specifying Vault ranges is prestigious), he'll be writing "I Was A Firm Widower" sob stories to the Record. Awesome. No, not "awesome." 180. Rating cool things by LSAT scores is more prestigious.

I start this quest by taking stock of my current level of prestige. It looks pretty solid. First, I'm at Harvard. Automatically more prestigious than everyone in the country except the 25 kids that make up Yale's entire student body, and you folks reading this. Good.

But I'm a minority! Oh no. People might think I'm an affirmative action admit. Affirmative action is unprestigious. If I were a legacy admit, I might be getting somewhere.

But I rocked the LSAT. Phew. Like I said, LSATs are prestigious. High GPAs and work ethics are for suckers. In the middle of both of my take-home exams, I took a break, ate some fruit cocktail, and played some Yahoo games. Text Twist is prestigious, am I right?

But I was in Teach For America. Helping poor kids out of the goodness of your heart is unprestigious. I should have tried consulting, or investment banking. Maybe I can dig that McKinsey flyer out of my trash can.

My husband goes to Chicago. Everyone knows Chicago is full of intense, genius, law-and-economics-obsessed conservatives who spend their free time in the student lounge building statues of Epstein and Posner out of dollar bills. That's super prestigious. I know I ruined his biglaw dreams, but maybe that Chicago vibe can still rub off on me.

Oh man, I've done a bunch of volunteer work, though. Immigrants and disabled kids and whatnot. And I went to a state school. With a humanities major. And I'm liberal, and a feminist. And I bought these jeans at Robinson's-May, and I think I'm wearing socks that don't match. This is looking bad. Seppuku may be my only option. That, or a transfer to Thomas M. Cooley School of Law.

My quest to be uber-prestigious is in dire straits, and I'm only one semester in. Maybe I'm screwed. Maybe I'm doomed to a life of upper-middle-class mediocrity, a life of spending time with my husband and future kids. Living on two decent lawyer incomes and buying things I actually have the time to use. Having a job that makes the most of my skills and values - a job that doesn't even come with magazine rankings! God, that's depressing. Hold me.

Andrea Saenz, 1L, is from Long Beach, CA. She kids because she loves.



Date: January 20th, 2006 1:50 PM
Author: fshek



Date: January 20th, 2006 2:26 PM
Author: RFVB

No URM "rocks" the LSAT.


Date: January 27th, 2006 5:59 PM
Author: miranda v.i.

Right, because that would be genetically impossible. There wouldn't be any exceptions at all.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:04 PM
Author: trendspotter

No need to rub it in.


Date: February 15th, 2006 1:18 PM
Author: Pimp on Wheels (I made Pretzel cry and run away.)

That was fucking really funny.


Date: January 27th, 2006 5:50 PM
Author: chancemeeting (ret. - except radiohead threads)

Hey, this is actually pretty damn good.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:10 PM
Author: IronMonkey

Has xoxohth.com jumped the shark?


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:48 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)


The Boston Globe

June 13, 2004, Sunday ,THIRD EDITION


LENGTH: 639 words




Rather than rely on glossy college brochures or campus tours, high school students are cruising the information superhighway in search of an unfiltered glimpse at colleges and the way they pick students.

Their thirst for the inside scoop has led thousands of prospective undergraduates to online discussion forums and message boards.

Internet sites such as the Princeton Review's, or more grass-roots, independent college message boards like xoxohth.com or studentsreview.com, run by graduate students at MIT, provide unedited, and seemingly unending, college data from high school students, university students, and graduates.

"You get an unbiased viewpoint from kids who actually went there," said Zach Bobker, who used a message board to find out more about Bentley College in Waltham.

Users like Bobker, 17, say the message boards offer varied perspectives on college admissions and give a sense of community to high school students struggling to pick a university.

But some college admissions officials say they worry the forums, most of which are not heavily moderated, can be rife with misinformation. They urge students and their parents to take information gleaned online with a grain of salt.

"It's not intentional misinformation, but there could be a student who says, 'I heard every student lives in dormitories with hot tubs,' while in reality, that isn't true; they just had a friend who did," said Kent Rinehart, Bentley's director of undergraduate admissions. "At any college in the country, you're going to find students who love the place, students who hate the place, and many in between. You have to consider the source."

Bentley, like other colleges, is developing its own online discussion forums so students have an accurate source of information, Rinehart said.

But Bobker said the Princeton Review message board gave him a fuller range of information about the college than he got during his tour of Bentley last month.

How does Bentley compare with the business school at Boston University, he asked online from his home in Westchester, N.Y. With a 1420 on the SAT and a 3.7 grade-point average, what are his chances of getting a Bentley merit scholarship?

Within 24 hours, Bobker, a high school junior, received several replies, including one from a recent Bentley graduate who spoke highly of the course offerings and "potential job contacts."

The sites not run by colleges give students a chance to "tell it like is without the sweet talk we're used to hearing," said Matt Johnson, who recently completed his freshman year at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Conn.

Many high school students go online and list their "stats," including test scores and extracurricular activities, then ask for a rating on their chances of admission or for suggestions of other schools. Others post questions about campus atmosphere and professors.

One student who asked about getting into New York University and Pace University received this response: "Your test scores are low for NYU but they won't completely rule you out."

Jarret Cohen, the owner of xoxohth.com, a popular independent college discussion board, said the six-month-old site receives upward of 10,000 posts a day.

On the admissions forum run by usnews.com, students also receive feedback from financial aid and admissions officers.

"Applying to college used to be like signing up for the Y; now it's more like an Ebay eBay auction," said Steve Thomas, director of admissions at Colby College in Waterville, Maine. "There's no way we can police all the information out there, but we have to adapt to the fact that it's being used."


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:48 PM
Author: ƒjackie

Day of doom

By Raffi Melkonian

Published: Thursday, March 17, 2005

I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I used one of those law school applicant discussion boards back when I was applying to school three years ago. The one thing that makes me feel better about the whole affair is that I'm sure I'm not the only one so besmirched on this campus. Obviously, many law school applicants (and students) are world-class neurotics, and it makes us feel better to try to exert control over a fundamentally uncontrollable process - who precisely is getting in to the schools we want? How do we compare? And most important of all, when are we going to hear? Nor do we suddenly get more civilized once in school - after all, the Greedy Clerks discussion board for federal clerks and applicants is no less active.

Of course, I always noticed a lot of extraneous chatter on the discussion board I used. Most of it was about things you expect students to talk about - dating, for example - but some was really offensive and nasty.

This week, though, there's been a debate among some law professors - writing online - about whether this kind of discussion board ought to be cleaned up. I checked the most popular one, and it's no surprise that people are up in arms. Undeniably, the board has gotten pretty bad in a lot of ways, including a startling quantity of the worst sort of racism and anti-Semitism. As much as I share the protestors' disgust with the speech involved, however, cleaning up such a web site is a bad idea, for two reasons.

First, pressuring the site administrators to clean up the discussion board by employing a software filter is the equivalent of sweeping a potentially serious problem under the carpet. From the beginnings of free speech theory, people have realized that one of the main benefits of allowing people to voice even odious opinions publicly is that those who disagree are confronted with the fact that the minority opinion does actually exist. If there are law students who feel comfortable using the kind of racial epithets contained on the site, even under the thin blanket of internet anonymity, even as a stupid sort of shocking joke, those of us who find such speech disgusting should want to know about it. It's all very easy to assume that the great persuasive battles in terms of respect and civility have been won. Displays such as those on the discussion board at issue demonstrate that there might be work left to be done.

Second, just as with all (even private) controls on expression, stifling evil speech might chill other speech that is really useful and good. The overwhelming benefit of the discussion board, as I remember it, was that traffic was high, knowledgeable people abundant, and answers to questions quick. Every effort made to censor discussion was quickly discovered to be over-broad, and instead of leaving a clean board, changes made to get rid of the racists drove away others as well. But those kinds of discussion boards are vital for law applicants trying to figure their way out through a tough process, and especially those without specialized institutional support - my British alma mater, for example, had no advising services, so I relied heavily on internet resources to organize myself. If we believe in expanding this school's diversity across geography and social status as well as race, tools like admittedly vulgar Internet boards are crucial in leveling the playing field of applicant information. After all, the details that some people know, and others don't, are important - and if an active, unfettered, discussion board can spread that kind of previously rare knowledge, it's a good thing.

I should be clear - I don't like racists, and I don't like anti-Semites. Armenians, like myself, have had enough experience of such people to know better. But people with offensive opinions do exist, and from the evidence provided by the discussion board, some may even be among us. Sending those people underground isn't a good way to solve this problem. Free speech, even when the censoring party isn't the government, is generally preferable to restricted speech - and however uncomfortable such offensive language might make us, law school applicant discussion boards aren't an exception to that general rule.

Raffi Melkonian's posts on law school Internet discussion boards are neither racist nor anti-semitic.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:50 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

What a garbled mess.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:52 PM
Author: I am thinking of aurochs and angels

I know that fatass


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:52 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

IRL, how stupid is he?


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:53 PM
Author: I am thinking of aurochs and angels

He's very intelligent but pretentious.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:53 PM
Author: Great Teacher Onizuka


Net Effects

The strange world of Harvard’s overbearing unofficial Internet publicity machine

Published On Tuesday, December 06, 2005 2:15 AM


Crimson Staff Writer

Harvard is no stranger to controversy. Our President alone gets more press coverage than most earthquakes, and a handful of particularly colorful professors (you know who they are) fill in the gaps quite nicely when he’s behaving himself. The online community-edited encyclopedia Wikipedia cast a new sort of aspersion at our hallowed halls this past weekend, however: the neutrality of the article about Harvard was disputed.

We aren’t by any means the first or the only article to be given this distinction. The ability to question the even-handedness of Wikipedia content is an important peer review mechanism built into the site as a check against would be ne’er-do-wells. But most of the disputed articles are about well-known hot topics: Creationism or the Palestinian National Liberation Movement or whatever. Harvard, one would think, might generate a lot of controversy, but what about Harvard itself could possibly be presented in a stilted way?

The trouble became clear when you compared our article to the ones about other comparable institutions like Yale, Princeton, or MIT: those articles each began with a discussion of the administrative divisions of the school in question, followed perhaps by something about history or the composition of the student body. Harvard’s article, as of last week when the tag was applied, began with a discussion of college rankings, a slew of admissions statistics, and a list of academic competitions frequently won by our students. The history of one of America’s oldest universities was relegated to three paragraphs halfway down the page.

The modesty or immodesty of the members of the Harvard community has always been something of note—on the one hand, the running joke goes, we go to school in Boston or Cambridge when asked, but on the other, everyone knows we’re dying to further specify if the point is pressed. Nowhere is it more apparent than on the Internet, however, that at the very least a peculiar subset of our students, alumni, and admirers are truly remarkable practitioners of the art of self-promotion.

Wikipedia is by no means the only example. For years, a college admissions bulletin board called Autoadmit.com, which unofficially spun off from the Princeton Review website, has been plagued with a collection of colorful characters. Each seems present only to troll for a particular academic institution. The ringleader of the bunch, and the only one to have been around consistently since the beginning, goes under the handle NYCFan and has posted literally thousands of messages disparaging Yale and Princeton and defending Harvard’s excellence.

Who are these people? It turns out, purportedly, that NYCFan is an alum from some time in the 70s. Why it is that he has nothing better to do than spend hours inflating Harvard’s image to a bunch of ego-conscious 17-year-olds is as much a mystery as why your author has taken the time to read it all, but he’s not the only one. The main changes to the Wikipedia article which earned it its ‘disputed’ label were made by a “a current student” trying to dispel the “common misperception…that schools such as Yale, Princeton, and Stanford are pretty much interchangeable with Harvard.” (Harvard, he or she suggested, is in fact far better.)

We also seem overrepresented in the numbers of our critics. In response to the section of the article in Wikipedia about how well we perform in rankings, a paragraph was added with a collection of rankings where we didn’t perform as well—ones that put our engineering school in 30th place or had Princeton and Yale ahead of us in terms of quality of undergraduate education.

And on the Autoadmit bulletin board, a healthy crop of NYCFan detractors has appeared that spends its time recycling old articles about the high crime rate in Cambridge and linking to the FM issue from 2003 called “The Cult of Yale” in which the Crimson pondered the question of why it was everyone seemed so much happier down in New Haven.

This is not, of course, a new phenomenon. For years, scores of books and magazine articles have been written trying to perpetuate or dispel myths about what actually goes on here. In an April 2005 article in the Wall Street Journal, the author suggested one reason why Harvard might be overrepresented in the traditional print media: Harvard graduates are overrepresented in the industry, perhaps because “Harvard far surpasses any other university when it comes to cultivating journalistic talent.” On the internet you don’t even need journalistic talent to be overrepresented, you just need to be louder than everyone else—perhaps we’re good at that, too.

What’s to be done? Moderation, it seems to me, is key. In the case of the Wikipedia article, a few members of the Harvard community, coupled with a dedicated core of unaffiliated Wikipedians, have taken out some of the obviously slanted material and removed the page from the disputed list. And Autoadmit.com is probably not a big enough force to merit serious worry about our image there, be it positive or negative.

Ultimately, though, the real lesson to be learned from our coverage on Wikipedia or our profile in the strange world of online college admissions forums is that the internet has a way of magnifying the fringes of any group. Yale, despite what we might say about it, is a fine academic institution, and apart from a weekend every year in November when we trounce them at football, we’re probably better off for not thinking about who is better than whom on a day-to-day basis.

Matthew A. Gline ’06 is a physics concentrator in Quincy House. His column appears on alternate Tuesdays.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:54 PM
Author: Great Teacher Onizuka

Standing up for homeschools LANCASTER NEW ERA (LANCASTER, PA.) November 23, 2005, Wednesday

Copyright 2005 Lancaster Newspapers, Inc.


November 23, 2005, Wednesday

SECTION: A; Pg. 01

LENGTH: 823 words

HEADLINE: Standing up for homeschools



An ABC anchor said: “A small town, and a community of home-schoolers, are shattered.” A Baltimore Sun headline: “Home-school parents fear stigma after killings.” An Internet post: “I and others look at homeschool families as sort of weird separatists with some dark, fundamentalist, secret agenda.” On Nov. 13, David Ludwig, 18, allegedly shot and killed the parents of his 14-year-old girlfriend, Kara Borden, in the Bordens’ Lititz home. The two teens are Christians who met through their local homeschool support group. Immediately, the story drew attention from the national media, who often mentioned the homeschooling and religious background of Borden and Ludwig in their reports.

Local homeschool moms say that Lancaster homeschoolers are not “shattered,” nor do they fear “stigma.” “They are trying to lump us all together,” said Susan Jones of Akron, who has homeschooled all six of her children. “We are just regular people, and every family is unique. “People are going to think what they are going to think, but we are most concerned about the (Borden and Ludwig) families,” she said. ABC’s “World News Tonight” and The Baltimore Sun have interviewed Jones, along with several other Lancaster County homeschool families for their reaction. Attention to this story is coming from many directions. It’s also spurred heated debate on dozens of national Internet blogs, which are online diaries. You can find such posts even on lancasteronline.com. Both Ludwig and Borden themselves kept personal blogs. The person who wrote that he sees homeschool families “as sort of weird separatists...” called himself “John” on the Web site bloggingbaby.com. Here are a few examples from other sites, leaving the writer’s grammar in place: On perspectives.com, a poster named “Quest” wrote: “Ohhh...the hypocrisy...I thought these things only happened to inner-city atheist public school children! {sarcasm}.” On xoxohth.com, a person named “JustaVoice” stuck up for homeschoolers: “...this is the first homeschooler I’ve heard of killing anyone...” A Web site named newsbusters.org has 11 pages of posts about whether or not news stories should mention that Ludwig and Borden were homeschooled. Local homeschoolers want people to know that they never thought they were better than anyone. They are just making what they feel are the right choices for their families. “It could happen to anyone,” said Stephany Baughman, of Strasburg, who homeschools three of her four children. “Nobody’s above reproach.” Lancaster County has at least 2,595 homeschoolers, the largest number in the state. There are more than 24,000 homeschool students in Pennsylvania. In Lancaster County, most families who homeschool are conservative Christians, according to homeschooling Web sites. And homeschooling isn’t what it used to be. Sure, mom is still primarily in charge of the teaching. At the elementary level, some moms teach lessons at the kitchen table. When the children get older, the lessons come also from Internet courses and through homeschooling co-ops, where parents hire a teacher to come in and teach chemistry or a foreign language, for example. Homeschoolers also participate in dual-enrollment programs at colleges. But it’s not all work and no play. Homeschoolers engage in a variety of extracurricular activities, from ballet to basketball, to youth groups at local churches. The reasons families choose to homeschool also vary. For some, it’s about teaching at an individual pace. Others homeschool to incorporate their religious beliefs into the lessons or to avoid public-school bullying, drugs and violence, according to homeschooling advocate Web sites. “We never chose to homeschool to keep our kids away from things; that was one of the side results,” Jones said. Her family chose to homeschool so they could participate in their children’s education and incorporate their faith into daily lessons. Karen Malleus, president of the Warwick School board, said it’s not fair to associate the murder with homeschooling. “I have heard some talk, and I know that there has been some concern among our school officials that the homeschoolers will come under fire for this,” Malleus said. “That shouldn’t be. This could have happened with a public school student, a parochial student or a homeschooler.” One result of the murder is that some parents, no matter how their children are educated, are talking with their kids about the dangers of today’s world, including the Internet. And about about the consequences of their choices. “It made me realize that you never really know what your children are doing when they leave the house,” Jones said of the murder. “You have to trust them. They make their own choices.” Baughman told her children: “It could happen to any of us if we don’t stay close to God and hear his voice.” Baughman said no one has the right to judge anyone. And, it’s every parent’s job “to keep a better eye on our kids.”


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:55 PM
Author: Great Teacher Onizuka


My Dark Secret

Gord Cruess (Law III)

I’ve got to get something off my chest.

I’m in the thrall of addiction. I used to smoke, but this is far, far worse. I want to kick my habit cold turkey, but it’s stronger than me. It keeps drawing me back—when I’m alone, I can barely go half an hour without a fix. I don’t want to be alone anymore.

The tragic irony of my situation is that it actually stems from not being alone. Others drive—and perhaps share—my obsession. They are “out there.” And they—“we”—walk amongst the rest of you. I’d wager, however, that most of “us” don’t know who else makes up our ranks, just as the rest of you don’t know that there is an “us” apart from you.

Well I, for one, am going to break the silence.

I’m addicted to lawbuzz.ca. I am also a slave to the lesser-known, though no less entertaining, autoadmit.com (understatedly billed as *the most prestigious law school discussion board in the world*).

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll explain. But first, a necessary caveat. I will not be responsible for any downward spiral that may result from your checking out these sites after reading this article. This stuff is highly addictive. I do not want my catharsis to come at the expense of others’ productivity or positive use of spare time. Selfishly, though, I admit that I’m willing to take that chance.

Lawbuzz is a virtual chat forum for Canadian law students, and I assure you, there’s no shortage of McGill participation. A veritable panoply of law-related discussions, from the serious to the inane, can be found there. And if the particular terrain you’re interested in remains uncharted by lawbuzz then you can always break new ground and start a discussion of your own.

I’ll throw out just a few of the gems to be discovered at lawbuzz. Interested in how others are dealing with the stresses of law school? You can find out at lawbuzz. Have a hankering for unscientific, quantitatively suspect rankings, compiled by fellow law students, of Canadian law schools (i.e. the everlasting McGill v. UofT v. everyone else debate)? Check out lawbuzz. Curious about the age-old question regarding the permissibility of “lawcest”? Read the sage pontifications of your anonymous brethren at lawbuzz.

I feel much better now. Maybe writing this piece is my way of posting something, if only to myself. More properly, I think, it’s a challenge to myself to continue not posting anything. Up until now I’ve been a mere voyeur of this shadowy Webternet society, and I want even that to stop.

I confess, faceless friends, that I’ve tried to post. My first and only attempt transpired just the other day. The build-up — that is, thinking up and beginning to write my message — was nothing short of exhilarating. There I was, typing furiously and in full debunking mode, in response to a thread questioning whether we McGillians who stick around for 3.5 or 4 years are slackers (the ridiculous consensus seemed to be that we are, and that firms think so too). Before I could reach the climactic moment of truth, though, I was interrupted. There, hunched in my lonely third floor library carrel, I heard an interloper from the real world approaching. Embarrassed, I quickly closed my window, my maiden voyage into the lawbuzz foray aborted. I sat there frustrated, the release that only the “send” button could provide having eluded me.

Sigh. Maybe I’ll screw up my courage again one day soon.

No. That’s the addiction talking. Because I know that if I post, there will probably be no going back. That pre-post feeling I experienced was intoxicating, and I can only imagine the delirium that would have ensued if the fruits of my labour had magically appeared on the screen before me. And then, were someone to respond! I think, friends, that that would be too much.

After all, it’s November. I am engaging in destructive behaviour. Exams and papers are rearing their ugly heads. It’s time to study. Again, I think that’s what this article is all about — throwing down the gauntlet to myself. A friend poetically calls the Internet the world’s toilet. If that’s true, then lawbuzz is McGill’s, and I need to stop forcing my own head down it.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:56 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man


Bob Blotnick

A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john a big beautiful all-american football hero type, about twenty-five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him. As soon as he left I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud. Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does. I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss. I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankerchief, and stashed them in my briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom. I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process. I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:02 PM
Author: Extreme Fajitas

I clicked on this thread just to make sure this was here. God bless this board.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:03 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

Just trying to keep tradition alive.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:54 PM
Author: In Soviet Russia, Rule 12 violates YOU! (Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry???)

Me too.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:21 PM
Author: Pinderhughes
Subject: That

was magnificent.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:43 PM
Author: beleza

what a disturbing classic. The detail involved in this- what an imagination! I am a worse person for having read this.


Date: January 20th, 2006 1:58 PM
Author: Great Teacher Onizuka


No Inferiority Complex in Cambridge: Students Rank HLS First in The Record's Study

By: Kelly Brown and Roger Pao

Issue date: 11/3/05 Section: News

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Students at Harvard Law like to complain about everything, from living in the Gropius dorms to the lack of skim milk packets for the free morning coffee. They gripe about the ice skating rink and classroom temperatures, about too much reading and too little time. But what do students here think about their institution in relation to other American law schools?

The Record recently conducted a survey of randomly selected HLS students, requesting their participation in an e-mail survey. The survey asked students to "identify and rank what you believe to be the ten best American law schools." No specific law schools were mentioned, and all students contacted were asked to respond via e-mail. Participants were assured of anonymity unless they volunteered to be interviewed for this story.

Over 100 HLS students completed the survey. Results include only those surveys that listed ten schools. In total, the survey includes the rankings of 103 HLS students: 30 1Ls, 22 2Ls, 29 3Ls, and 22 LLMs.

Each time that a student listed a particular law school first, that school received 10 points. Schools ranked second received nine points, third received eight points, fourth received seventh points, and so on, subtracting one point for each rank from the first to the tenth listed school, which received one point. Schools not listed by a participant received zero points. Once all of the results were received, Record staffers tallied the point totals for each school.

Overall, HLS students ranked the top ten law schools in the following order: Harvard University, Yale University, Stanford University, Columbia University, University of Chicago, New York University, University of Michigan, University of Pennsylvania, University of California - Berkeley, and the University of Virginia.

Perhaps the most surprising finding was that HLS came out on top. The Record found that despite their lack of enthusiasm over the first-year legal writing program and their antipathy toward Hark food, the majority of HLS students believe their school to be the best.

"There's a reason Harvard Law School is considered to be a quintessential American institution and why it, and not some other law school, is mentioned in movies and novels," said 1L Arvin Abraham, who participated in the survey. "We have it all: the name, and the resources to match."

Among all law students surveyed, HLS topped the list with 986 points. Yale took second with 941 points. Stanford and Columbia followed, with 800 and 640 points respectively. But the difference in rankings between classes and degree programs was sometimes significant.

As shown in Katie Thomason's article, Harvard received 44 votes for the top spot from J.D. students, besting Yale's 35 votes. But LLM students showed a far stronger preference for HLS - 18 ranked HLS first, while only four gave Yale top honors. Perhaps the international resonance of the Harvard name gave it a leg up among LLMs. Or maybe LLMs, with their previous law school experience and distinct educational objectives, used different criteria in selecting the "best" law schools.

"I ranked the Law Schools based on the prestige that they have in my country and the appreciation they receive in the private sector in Chile," said Chilean LLM Silvana Schenone. "I also think that the biggest competition for Harvard is not within the US but in the UK--Oxford or Cambridge, I would say."

Equally interesting is the phenomenon of increasing support for Yale at the expense of HLS from the first to the third year. First-year students listed Harvard as number one twice as often as they did Yale, but 2Ls and 3Ls split rather evenly on the Harvard vs. Yale issue. While 2Ls still gave Harvard a slight edge over Yale, more 3Ls ranked Yale over Harvard than Harvard over Yale, by a margin of 15 to 13. Among 3Ls, Harvard barely edged Yale only because four 3Ls placed Yale third and one 3L ranked Yale fourth, while Harvard's sole hiccup was the fact that two 3Ls listed Harvard third.

In the law school community, the most frequently cited rankings are those published each year by U.S. News and World Report. The criteria used to develop those rankings include the median GPA and LSAT ranges of the incoming 1L class, student/faculty ratio, bar passage rate, percentage employed after graduation, and both peer and professional assessments. Many students acknowledged the influence of the U.S. News rankings.

"I have watched [the U.S. News rankings] rather closely over the last two years," 2L Tyler Bowen said. [Mine] are probably similar if not identical. I rely heavily on U.S. News." Bowen's top nine picks were, in fact, identical to those selected by U.S. News. Ranked highest to lowest, the top ten law schools in the 2005 U.S News rankings were: Yale, Harvard, Stanford, Columbia, NYU, University of Chicago, University of Pennsylvania, University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, University of Virginia, and Northwestern.

All of the aforementioned law schools, except for Northwestern, came out in the Record survey's top ten. Replacing Northwestern among HLS students was the University of California at Berkeley, known to many as Boalt Hall.

"I think that my rankings conform pretty closely to the U.S. News rankings, with the exception that I feel U.S. News' methodology is strongly biased in favor of small schools and against large schools," Abraham said.

Law school rankings can be found across the web. They employ a range of methodologies, from complicated algorithms to raw intuition. The 2004 rankings at the jd2b.com site proclaim that they are "based on qualitative, rather than quantitative, criteria," and list HLS first among institutions, with Yale and Stanford tied for second.

The infamous xoxohth.com law school website features a message board where individuals can post rankings and solicit responses. Users, mostly prospective and current law students, frequently debate the merits of one law school over another as well as critique the U.S. News rankings, JD2B rankings, and other rankings.

The Record's survey is unique in that it polls a distinctive community - Harvard Law students. In addition, it is the only survey that traces variations across the 1L, 2L, and 3Ls classes as well as compares the opinions of JD students with those of LLMs.

Although a number of HLS students who responded to the Record's survey may have been influenced by outside rankings, there was still plenty of variety among individual responses. The set of schools was largely circumscribed, with only 23 schools listed among all participants, but the responses were fairly diverse and reflected unique perspectives.

Some participants shared the criteria that they had used in making their determinations. Besides the U.S. News rankings, students cited reputation, GPA and LSAT scores, perceived prestige, diversity, breadth and depth of course offerings, intuited quality, career opportunities, and location.

"Reputation, class size, quality of instruction, academic and professional prestige, [and] the raw numbers" were all factors in 2L Tyler Bowen's decision to rank Yale first.

"And the campus is beautiful," he added.

The meaning of rankings is heavily debated. Students are frequently encouraged to choose the "most prestigious"-i.e., highest ranked-law school when evaluating law school acceptances, and there is a sizeable contingent of prospective law students (and relatives of prospective law students) that watches the U.S. News rankings closely. A few also follow the U.S. News rankings from year to year, although there is typically little variation.

Some students said that the rankings are mostly smoke and mirrors, and should not carry the weight that some impart to them.

"Actually, I don't think there are significant differences in the level of education received at law schools that are regularly regarded as top tier," said 3L Taylor Dasher. Several students surveyed also objected to the use of rankings.

But rankings will likely remain as long as LSATs and GPAs rule the admissions process and as long as consumers are willing to eagerly purchase U.S. News's annual America's Best Graduate Schools. Just as admissions committees at many law schools across the nation assign a numerical value to each applicant, so too do many prospective law students assign each law school a ranking - whether based on commercial rankings, a careful personal calculation, or a gut feeling.

"The quality of education one receives at top institutions is important, but law students rely heavily on reputation," said survey participant Brett Talley, a 2L. "Having the right name on your diploma can take you a long way."

(Note: The Record acknowledges that the manner in which the survey was conducted may have skewed the results slightly because of the self-selection involved in the e-mail response process, but no precise sampling error has been calculated.)

Anna Brook, Andrea Saenz, and Sami Zeidan contributed to the reporting of this story.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:00 PM
Author: Great Teacher Onizuka



By Fenno

Published: Thursday, March 17, 2005

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Fenno stumbled blearily into the Hark. 7:58 a.m. She was never going to make it to Admin Law on time, but screw it. Who does Kagan think she is, anyway? Starting class at 8:00 in the morning? Who made her queen? Oh, right, President Summers. He probably figured that being Dean of a law school doesn't really require much talent with numbers. As evidenced here, by Kagan's seeming inability to tell time and schedule class at a reasonable hour.

Out of habit, Fenno drifted into the Harkbox pen. Fenno didn't know why she bothered anymore. Her box was consistently full of junk, if not just totally empty.

Today, however, something was different. As Fenno rounded the corner she was hit by a strong whiff of perfume. Fenno knew the smell, but couldn't place it at first. "What the...?" she was confused when she recognized that it was Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden, a.k.a., Eau de Sorostitute. Since when were played-out 90s sorority chicks hanging around campus?

Fenno caught a glimpse of Jamie Bartholomew and Angela Kim giggling as they skipped arm in arm away from the boxes, little pink shopping bags dangling from their wrists and leaving a trail of glitter behind them. "What are those two up to?" Fenno wondered. Something was amiss.

Fenno was rattled as she made her way on over to Pound and slunk into the back of the classroom. Dean Kagan was already on stage, lively as usual, strutting around the room and scaring the bejeezus out of unsuspecting victims. She stopped speaking suddenly, and Fenno realized she'd just asked a question. All the students immediately slumped down in their seats, typing furiously. Everyone but Michael Fertik who, as usual, wanted to impart his genius on the class and was straining to catch the professor's attention without raising his hand.

"Don't eyeball fuck me, asshole!" Kagan barked, rejecting his silent plea for attention with a dismissive glance. "Ms. Stankunas! You're the judge, post-Vermont Yankee. An agency wants to add procedural safeguards above and beyond those required by the APA. What say you?"


Tanya Stankunas blinked innocently, "I'm sorry Professor Kagan, but I lost all my notes and books and baking supplies in a fire that consumed the condo where I was living. I'm a still a bit behind from trying to recover from that disaster."

Kagan rolled her eyes. "Real original, Ms. Stankunas. Did your dog start the fire while he was microwaving your homework? Or is there some other bullshit excuse you'd like to offer?"

Fenno was pretty sure Tanya herself had burned down that building while trying to invent some new Splendariffic Atkins-friendly scone concoction, but doubtless the arson investigators would never be able to prove it. Tanya brought up the inferno in every possible conversation, each time emphatically denying any knowledge of its origins. The Renaissance Faire lady doth protest a bit too much, Fenno thought.

Fenno's mind drifted as she slipped back out of the classroom to fill her Westlaw mug with caffeine. Why in God's name had so many people signed up for this class? Sure, Kagan was a Socratic sight to be seen, but the crack of dawn torture sessions were a bit much. Then again, the alternative was Professor Barron who, while also a dynamic teacher, gave Fenno the willies with his extended gaze face-offs. Talk about eyeball fucking.

Fenno didn't want to return to class, so instead headed back to the Hark to investigate the weirdness from earlier. When she got to the Harkboxes, she found a group of 2Ls chattering animatedly, surrounding a girl holding something pink.

"...we cordially request your glittering presence in a celebration of beauty, strength and power at Harvard Law School. We toast life, and we toast womanhood, as we launch the Vie Society..." Erin Abrams trailed off in a fit of laughter as she read from the letter.

"Is it VEE or VY? Like.. vie in French? Life society? What is that supposed to mean? Pro-life?" puzzled Zoe Segal-Reichlin. "Uh, ick."

"I think it's more like vie... as in, vying to be back in college where the rush week was hard, but the frat boy lovin' was easy," Jordan Heller replied authoritatively.


"Shh! Shhh! Listen!" Lindsay Rodman read bits of the invitation aloud. "A Princess Party... featuring pink champagne and TIARAS! Holy Shit! It seriously says TIARAS! Dress Code: Princess Chic. Ok, that explains the tiaras. How else would you know you were dressed as a princess, right?"

"You know, I bet they didn't invite Miss AmErika. She'd have a totally unfair advantage in the tiara department. Then again, maybe they could pass around her scepter and all pretend to be abstinent royalty." Amy Lehr joked.

Fenno was stunned. Just when she thought she'd have nothing to share for the paper this week, along came a veritable field day of ridiculousness. She peeked over Cassie Marlantes' shoulder to read more from the pink, scented paper, which was heavily decorated with unicorns and castles and sugar and spice and everything nice.

"In order to best meet our goals, we are only able to accept a limited number of phenomenal females into our organization. We have identified you as one such candidate, and now it's in your hands to help breathe life into this organization..." Are you shitting me? Fenno marveled.

It seemed from what the girls were saying, however, that only 1Ls and 2Ls had been invited to join the PinkPower faux-rority. Fenno was disappointed. It would've been amusing to see which 3Ls might have wanted to join.

Fenno walked around to her box and saw Rebecca Ingber and Rebecca Weiner peering into the 3L slots. "Did you guys hear about this secret princess society?" Fenno asked them. "Do you see any of these invites left for 3Ls?"

"Only Rebekah Parker and Ari Waldman so far," Rebecca said.

Fenno furrowed her brow. "Ari I understand, of course, he's the prettiest girl in our class. But Bekah?"

"Yeah, she was like captain of her sorority in college. Or whatever they call that shit. Remember when she was in that Showtime thing on campus? They probably need her to handle logistics," Rebecca surmised.


Fenno scanned the 3L names and then incredulously pulled a dainty pink package from RM's box. "Holy hell, RM?" Fenno sputtered. "Are they choosing people based on outright bitchitude?"

"Hey, hey, Fenno. Be nice. You know RM has a hard time making friends with other girls because of her giant boobs," Rebecca explained. "At least, that's her theory."

"Yeah, that's it," Fenno replied sarcastically. "I'm so jealous of her rack that it doesn't even occur to me to think she's a gunning ice queen," she paused, "actually, I am jealous."

Why didn't I get invited? She would totally make fun of this group! At least I would pretend to like them to get info for the xoxohth board. What does RM have that I lack? I mean, besides a clerkship and the tits?"

Shhhhhh!" Rebecca hissed. "Here comes her brother and his friend!"

As the two 1Ls passed, Fenno recognized the familiar, patented, M family know-it-all tone as JM bragged, "Oh yeah, dude. They're real. Trust me."

Fenno snorted and turned to head back to Pound to pick up her laptop. March 23rd at Cabot House, eh? Fenno might just have to crash the V.S. inaugural tea party. She was sure she had a poufy bridesmaid dress in her closet somewhere. And a My Little Pony rub-on tattoo. And some French manicure Lee Press-On nails.

This was going to be fun.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:29 PM
Author: Brined Turkey (( )@( ))

NEILLSVILLE, Wis. (AP) — A 64-year-old man has pleaded no contest to charges in Clark County Circuit Court after telling police he regularly had been using calves for sexual gratification.

Harold G. Hart was placed on two years probation Thursday and ordered to have psychological counseling and an alcohol and drug abuse assessment after pleading to charges of sexual gratification with an animal and disorderly conduct.

According to the criminal complaint, the family living on the farm Hart visited, installed a motion sensor because they had seen suspicious footprints and vehicle tracks.

When the sensor sounded, Hart was caught leaving the barn. He later told police the farm was a routine stop, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.

Hart, better known to many as autoadmit.com poster "don barzini," told police he had gone to the farm at least 50 times in the last year, sometimes two to four times in a week.


Date: January 20th, 2006 2:41 PM
Author: questionforu



Date: January 27th, 2006 5:49 PM
Author: Phillyside (for the plaintiff)

omg hilarious


Date: February 5th, 2006 4:41 PM
Author: sangfroid

i fucking knew it.


Date: January 27th, 2006 5:48 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)

Are there any new submissions?


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:03 PM
Author: trendspotter

Mobi -- please post the source of your articles.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:06 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)

They're there. HL Record and Boston Globe.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:12 PM
Author: Rocco Siffredi
Subject: The update

Well...Mr. Casey O'Brien showed up at my door at about 8:15ish. Sporting a pair of cute jeans, a button up and a black jacket. For his outfit I would give him about a B. As for looks, he was cute but on the shorter side and his hair was a little too long. Far from a mullet but longer than I would prefer but let's not dwell on that because he can kinda get away with it. So for looks, I would probably give him another B. Car- BMW, like I stated before. A great car, he'll have to get and A for that. He gets and A+ for his manners and politeness. Marcie, he opened the car door everytime! Super polite. Overall general appearance will cap at a B+.

AS for the place we went to, another "A". The Tasting Room is an excellent date place. I was never the wine connoisseur but I'm gradually thinking I could become one. We had 4 glasses each of different white wines and a cheese flight, which was the perfect food mecca to go with the wine. Place is awesome, I recommend all of you guys to attend this place for a night out with your man/woman. We also headed over to this place called the Black Duck. Another great place! The date place itself gets an overall "A".

By the way Girls- this summer we must hang out on Randolph, so many awesome places!

I can go into great detail of what we talked about and such but, that would make for an extremely long email.

The date ended with me getting intoxicated but not like crazy intoxicated, but I was drunk. No hangovers. I'm assuming he was fairly intoxicated but since he was driving, I didn't want to know, so I never asked.

By the way, as for myself, I get an overall A+ for how damn cute I looked. I sported a pair of fun longer Capri pants from Guess in a darker khaki color with my white shirt from Hanger 18, that has my lower back showing with my new cute fitted black jacket with empire sleeves from Armani. I was a BABE. He didn't stand a chance. My worries of not being cute were so swept under the rug with the outfit I pulled off last night.

Before jumping to any conclusions, YES, I stayed the night, only because I semi passed out on his couch and he was polite to ask if I wanted to head home and I just said he could take me home in the morning, NOTHING happened. Honestly only a kiss derived from this date and it didn't even happen at his place. I believe it might have been executed at the Black Duck but I'm not so sure on the exact time and location. But can I add, GREAT kisser. The date kiss gets an "A". Really, I haven't had that great of a kiss since, well we won't go there but it has been a long time. I might have to go with the fact that I might have mastered the skill of French kissing, no joke. As long as I have potential to work with, I can execute a pretty intense kiss.

Lauren- you would have loved Casey's attitude. Actually I think all of would have appreciated how he called me out on my stupid logic of thinking. Somehow, it came up on how random it was for us to meet and {bleep} and how when he said the very first time we talked for me to give him a call and my response was, "Really, I'll let you know now, I won't call you, so I suggest you write my number down and give me a call". Hence the wait of a week or so for his first initial call was due to my shallowness or whatever you would like to call my way of playing the field. Doesn't really matter, he still called and I didn't.

So, question is, where do I stand on the whole outlook of Mr. Casey O'Brien and the date...The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat-which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don't consider that really amazing, his mannerism and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but...I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won't lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND (Oh by the way, I think he's only 29, but still, I'm rounding up). Plus, the summer is just around the corner and guys are EVERYWHERE, I need to keep the options open and my schedule free to lock in some other great summer flings...

Well, I hope you've enjoyed the day in the life of Miss Jackie Kim and please feel free to comment on my date, my outfit, the kiss, or whatever else. If you need any more major details of the date please contact me in one of the following ways: phone, email, personal visit or text messaging.

Oh, I might be heading to a Cubs game with him next week. We'll see.

Oh by the way ladies- His cute friend Brian, is single and also a day trader.

Which by the way, being a day trader is pretty money, literally in a sense but he gets to throw on lounge wear for work and is home no later than Noon.

Are you kidding me? Where was being a day trader on career day in Elementary school?


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:48 PM
Author: 45 yo man posting from Filene's basement

this is on snopes.com as I recall, as part of their embarassing corps email collection.


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:54 PM
Author: done and done

This line never fails to get me:

"The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat-which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don't consider that really amazing, his mannerism and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but...I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won't lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND "


Date: January 27th, 2006 6:58 PM
Author: beleza

Mr. Buck's Wild Ride

The passenger was dead, and more than a little ripe, but he had a hell of a ride.

An escaped mental patient, on the run from Florida, stole an ambulance in North Carolina last Sunday and led police on a three-county chase, passing briefly into Virginia.

When the cops finally pulled him over, he emerged — somewhat less than voluntarily — wearing a stethoscope around his neck, a pager on his waist and latex gloves in his back pocket, and sporting a Mohawk haircut.

"I don't think anyone would have mistaken him for a doctor," Rockingham County (N.C.) Sheriff's Officer Dean Venable told The Reidsville (N.C.) Review.

Even stranger, somewhere along the way he'd picked up a patient — a dead male deer, lying in the back of the ambulance with an intravenous tube stuck into it. A defibrillator may also have been used on the animal.

"I don't know how the man got it up in there," Sgt. Robert Pearson of the North Carolina State Highway Patrol (search) told the Jacksonville (Fla.) Times-Union. "It was a six point buck."

Even worse, it had been dead for somewhere around a week. Police think it must have been road kill the driver just came across.

"I smelled that deer until 10 o'clock that night," said Pearson.

It turned out aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn, a poster on autoadmit.com, 37, had escaped from a mental-health facility in Jacksonville, Fla., in mid-August and not been heard from until last Saturday, Sept. 24.

That's when Lexington, N.C., police arrested him as he hung around the town hospital in a wheelchair.

"Actually he was in the wheelchair, riding it in the middle of the road and intoxicated," Lt. Scott Nanney told WFMY-TV of Greensboro, N.C. "So that's when officers decided to take him into jail for four hours."

The next morning, aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn allegedly stole the vehicle from Davidson County Ambulance Service (search), but it wasn't spotted until early that afternoon, when police in Danville, Va., 80 miles away, noticed it but didn't give chase.

aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn must have been spooked, for he headed back into North Carolina, where Rockingham County sheriff's deputies gave chase, following him down back roads, and even through some fields, across the Caswell County line until the ambulance ran into a ditch.

"It was a little like the Duke boys out there, I understand," Pearson said, referring to Hazzard County's (search) finest.

aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn was taken to a psychiatric facility near Durham for evaluation. It wasn't clear whether he was fit to be charged.

aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn's father told WAWS-TV of Jacksonville his son was a paranoid schizophrenic who had stabbed his two sisters and a brother in the past. North Carolina authorities told the Review that aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn had arrests and convictions for petty crimes stretching from Florida to New Jersey.

"It's about the most bizarre thing I've ever seen," the tow truck driver who hauled the ambulance away told the Review. "I don't know how he even drove it with the smell in there."

aznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznaznazn reborn is also known to be obsessed with posting pictures of asian girls with white guys on autoadmit.com from the computer lab of his mental-health facility.


Date: February 5th, 2006 4:34 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)

Date: October 30, 2003 07:02 AM

Author: .milkbag.

Subject: chicago..

How did it happen that making the tired claim that this ghetto shithole is UNDERrated became the signature conversation piece for people who desperately want to be thought smart; really, really smart. smart people love "rigor" and Chicago is full of it; it must be, what with its hair-splitting number grades, punishingly low enforced mean, and oppressive course load. Chicago boosterism usually comes in the form of a comparison with the appallingly UNrigorous Stanford or Yale -- gradeless, abundantly pass-fail, unserious; students who do nothing and know nothing. Chicago: graded, competitive, serious... That it's really just a ruptured ego rehab clinic for Harvard rejects is a fact not emphasized. I have seen a homely Chicago girl, deep into her second year, still spontaneously weeping upon Proustian recollections of the stiff NO Harvard sent her, in brisk three-week turnaround time from the point her doomed application was deemed complete. Happy December, chickiepoo. Then the Yale axe fell, as it does. Welcome to the New Year, dipshit. January passed; February crawled by with those joyless acceptances that only accentuated the horror of Plan B: Georgetown, which is a "Law Center," a failed euphemism if ever there was one. Next: woeful Cornell. Oh, what a very bad school. And -- what do we have here?!? -- a Boston University full-ride. Ummmm, no. On second thought in stead of BU I'd prefer the f free roasted dogshit mignon with a pus reduction sauce and a heaping blob of earwax garnish. Thank you no. I am woe. Add to that the fact that the imbecile whoalways posts about how Sean Hannity is a "serious thinker" just got into Harvard. Time for you to start some damage-control posting here, on the PR board, pretending to seriously consider this BU affront. You wave the flag of thrift and test out a quaintly anachronistic abhorrence of debt. Substantively, you add in some tommyrot about how BU's "really strong in ...'international law,' whatever the fuck that is. BU? Yeah, right. But you need something that gives the illusion that Georgetown, if it comes to that, isn't the three years incarcerated in a smegma chamber that it is. So good, so fine you'll drop the cash dollars despite that lovely gift from BU. You're forming a cover story; something to puff the very real and very nauseating prospect of joining 600 other defeated mediocrities at ... fuck, no ... Georgetown. And you thought going to college at Penn was bad. . Still, there are two more to hear from. Two more law schools ...There's that late April Stanford rejection (inconsiderate bastards) which at least affords you ample time to manufacture the next layer in the cover story: e.g., a strict policy against California, a suburban aversion, a preference for bigness, all of which eliminate Stanford from the sweepstakes. Be sure, too, to ridicule their tepid 25-75 LSAT %ile, too. Kill it dead, if you must. Maybe you thrust out of your frozen horror by sending off one of those strategic "withdrawal" letters, the way all those clowns do when Harvard puts them on hold ... ".you cant't fire me ... i quit! " Adios, Stanford. Suck my cunt, you no-SCOTUS-clerking/dike-dean-TTT. ... die, die, you gravy-sucking pig. .... and now, then, there is just one. Chicago. The Law School. Chicago does do that pathetic yield-maximizing stall, so February passes, March crawls. They haven't the nuts to try the ricockulous move Stanford does. So they write. Ever rigorous, The Law School requests the pleasure of your company. Not so fast . No decision has been made. They want to inspect you in person. The "evaluative interview. Looking for people skills. And evident thirst for knowledge. The life of the law is the law itself. It seems you've fucked up; quite possible3 when the went "behind the numbers." Maybe those two essay paragraphs about why the 171, exactly where you topped out in Kaplan, is a truer measure than the 164. maybe it was two paragraphs too many. You weren't an auto-admit. So off to the "evaluative interview," and you give them not much to evaluate. You stay on message, though: owing to its RIGOR, Chicage is now, and ever was, your FIRST CHOICE. Tell your audience what it wants to hear. Then they decide, engaging the only evaluation that matters in this gig. Looks like they can break even with your sorry ass. Median-wise, your 171 nullifies the 159 URM from Howard they took yesterday. They'll swallow your 3.46; sometimes that's the price of a yield-lock, and you're that. (No one's swallowing the Howard guy, if you catch my racy double entendre.) These admissions guys talk, as you suspected, and you wisely decide against telling them it had come down to Chicago or Harvard for you; first versus second choice; no choice at all. Never get caught lying. Bad idea, even worse than telling that stupid girl from Emory you were "a Kennedy." These things get found out. Like they say, no sense lying about your cock size. Turns out you didn't need to fake a bidding war. The usual stampede of all Chicago's best admitees are going to Y and H and S without so much as the courtesy of telling C to go pound sand. Why tell them what they already know? They need to fill place #143 of their famously teeny-weenie class. The assumed occupant got unheld at Harvard this morning; never so relieved, he had the audacity to ask Chicago for his deposit back. They don't need these headaches. You're in. They write, very pleased to offer admission; then a recital of just how "keen" the competition was for the few precious "seats" in the class of 2006; and, finally, a paragraph celebrating the legal profession with a toploftiness and richly felt purpose so precisely at variance with reality that you are unsettled by the suspicion that you might be the target of a satire so subtly corrosive that you will never connect it with the despair that will progress, exponentially; beginning as a persistent annoyance progressing into a pervasive physical and mental crapulence and ending in the crippling burden as lumber and writhe and tumble toward the epiphany. What epiphany is that? That this "career" of yours --BIGLAW! -- has somewhat less to recommend it than residence in the "shoe" at Pelican Bay. For now, though, the seed of tragic hopelessness finds expression in the "Law Discussion Area." You post -- IN AT CHICAGO -- and, without overtly lying, you manufacture the entirely erroneous impression that you "chose" Chicago, being also the originator of the CHICAGO v. HARVARD and YALE v. CHICAGO threads, under various of your insipid monikers, all selected from either Pulp Fiction or Friends. Be careful not to ass fuck your credibility, though. The purported Yale turn-down is a tough one to pull off. The "New Haven's-an-armpit" trope just doesn't pass the ha-ha test. It's too puny a reason to toss away a lifetime of being supposed a genius ... fuck it: always good to give your fabrications a little populist tint, not to mention a dollop of truth. Join the commiseration thread of Yale rejects; pretend to be sad for that Nuisance turd; be one of the masses for once. Getting rejected isn't the same thing as not getting in, You merely did not get in. You claim to have been wait-listed; and, with admirable maturity, you hold out no hope. Remember, too, this lie must be built on several fronts. Lard up the Harvard thread with grave concern about big classes, low morale, faculty acrimony, and speculation about a precipitous US News ranking drop. Throughout April, you go political, fulminating about Tribe and Dershowitz and how Duncan Kennedy drives a far-too-expensive car. to be a genuine socialist. Chicago's "conservative climate" is just a better fit for you; marginal cost curves figure in your every analytical moment; you read Posner opinions on the crapper; Coase is as important as Socrates. There is that little stinging glitch, though. Somehow Stanford neglected to process that request to quash your application, which is not favorably acted upon and this is memoriaized in a letter that suggests the Stanford Admissions Office ignores their LaserWriter Pro's TONER LOW warning. On May 7th they regret to inform and wish you well at any of the scores of other law schools that, they assure you "offer excellent programs of legal instruction." (Which, you have no doubt, they do. What they don't offer, is really the only important thing Stanford does offer: the opportunity to sit for three years with your thumb up your ass, comatose, and still get the job you'll have to bust nuts to get coming from whichever craphole you end up at.) It's sealed. An ugly, styleless maroon CHICAGO LAW, Champion sweatshirt has arrived, per your online order. You wear it, eliciting congratulations from the babe you want to rail. She's so happy for you, and you're so wrapped up in the fantasy of creaming on her tits you nearly miss perky aside that her boyfriend remains in the throes of elation from his admission to Yale, back in January. Throughout the summer, you bookmark links that embody the wisdom US News lacks. Your are heading off, soon, to your own first choice, which also places first in a ranking produced by the rigorous methodology conceived by a statistician from the University of Maryland Baltimore County. That Harvard tied for #14 undermines your confidence in the ranking diminishes the likelihood it will supplant US News' preeminence. So you go. Your Hyde Park apartment is actually rather nice. Your housemate went to Harvard College. One night, instead of jacking off before sleep, you register as an active component of your self-conception the notion that, transitively, your housemate's undergraduate credential nullifies the Harvard rejection that left you lusterless and unlaid at your senior prom, -- and has persisted as a gnawing ache, going on five years. You are now on equal footing with a Harvard graduate. Should your law school prowess exceed his -- say a 75 in Torts to his 74 -- you will once and for all flick away the scab of that Harvard wound. First cut is the deepest. As it turns out, your housemate is an engaging, witty fellow. He's porking the big bosomed lady with the Dutch accent. Wow! He offers to you, his new chum, the story of his own execution -- by lethal injection -- as expected, he painlessly relates, by the HLS admission staff. You pretend to explore what might have caused things to go awry, flatulating the usual fatuousness about Harvard being excessively "numbers driven," the "arbitrariness" of it all, dangling the threat of going on at some length, when he offers up the only information you genuinely care to know about him: : 178/3.34 ..Of course some one will inevitably have the 6th percentile college GPA in every HLS class; probably not a white guy from Greenwich, though. Friendship is built through reciprocity. So you tell your own story. You attempt to weave compassion into the telling of your story, being careful not to appear boastful about not just possessing, but discarding something he does not possess. HLS. Dreamy, So, your story: the grueling back-and-forth ... one day it's Chicago, the next Harvard; the hardest decision you've ever made; that feeling of immense responsibility to yourself; discovering and summoning the emotional maturity to pierce the specious veil that is prestige. With the bearing of a battle weary soldier you tell what it is to do something rarely done -- circumnavigate the Earth, dunk a basketball on a regulation hoop, turn down Harvard Law School . You picked Chicago. You chose, you adorable little existentialist. You are not exposed, chiefly because this a shared lie, Community glue. (Postscript: Throughout the 1Lyear you and your housemate discover much commonality, He, too, prefers the Stones to the Beatles. You both smoke pot. neither is circumcised. You've each fucked 5 girls; gotten head from several others. Each of you applies to transfer. He gets into HLS. He turns down Harvard Law School. Of course no two people are exactly alike. Your desire to transfer wanes around the time Stanford and Yale's decisions on your transfer applications reach you by mail. You begin the CHIGAGO 1L TAKING QUESTIONS thread. One of your alter ego monikers asks simply: how do you like Chicago. You love it. You wouldn't go anywhere else and, you note, there were other places you could have gone. Same for your housemate. He transfers to Yale.)


Date: February 15th, 2006 1:03 PM
Author: anonguy

Stop clogging this useful thread with articles that aren't about xoxohth.


Date: February 15th, 2006 1:10 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)

People already ruined the thread with their off-topic posts above. I could put my most recent posts somewhere else, I'm not sure it's better to have 2 trashed threads than only 1. If I make a classic posts thread or something like that, every dipshit will be posting all the stupid posts ever made.


Date: February 15th, 2006 12:42 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)

Date: February 15th, 2006 2:52 AM

Author: staplesflow

I thought this was a nicely written article on prestige that appeared Psychology Today. It's available here

( http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20050808-000005.html ) and pasted below.

Why You Think You'll Never Stack Up

By: Carlin Flora

Summary: The pursuit of prestige has an upside. The quest for cash and cachet -- and envy of others' good fortune -- are not simply base instincts to be overcome. A bit of status anxiety is a good thing, so long as you understand what you really covet and why.

There are few non-legally binding documents as closely read but as coolly received as class notes from one's alma mater. "On the same day I was accepted to a trauma surgery/critical care fellowship, I asked my beautiful girlfriend, an internal medicine resident, to be my wife," reads one Ivy League entry. Another alum informs that while his wife "has continued her participation with the U.S. national women's lacrosse team and hopes to win her third World Cup, I've had much more modest success on the sailplane racing circuit." The alumni journal is a gratingly personal catalogue of a universal predicament: status anxiety. Like all universals, this anxiety has its own deep logic. Learning that our best friend from college is happily married and wildly successful brings sincere joy and admiration but also waves of envy, which serve a primal purpose. Envy nudges us to earn an impressive job title, snag material comforts and catch and keep a fetching spouse, all of which, as nature would have it, boil down to life's reproductive necessities. We may never be able to overcome our concern with status, and we may not want to: In moderation it is good for us. Understanding our need for status can help us to channel our energies most productively and make use of our talents.

We are all at least a touch malcontented with our lot. The frustrations that accumulate as we fall behind in our career goals or mortgage payments are tiring and vulgar; the hair loss serums and the struggle to fit into our favorite pair of jeans are not battles we're proud of. But to our credit, we don't simply want more, more, more.

Sure, images of Donald Trump's gilded Boeing jet or of Kimora Lee Simmons's 30-carat diamond ring and 42-inch legs feed into our status anxiety on some level. But at the end of the day, we're concerned with our immediate reference group -- one made up of about 150 people. "When you see Bill Gates' mansion, you don't actually aspire to have one like it. It's who is local, who is near you physically and who is most like you -- your family members, coworkers and old high school classmates -- with whom you compare yourself," says economist Robert H. Frank, of Cornell University. The homogeneity in most communities sensitizes us to tiny upgrades in our midst. "If someone in your reference group has more," he says, "you get a little anxious."

In the 1980s, Frank dismantled a premise central to economic theory: People will always choose the greatest absolute amount of wealth. Landmark research shows that our preferences are actually quite relative. We'd rather make $50,000 while living in a neighborhood where everyone else makes $40,000 than earn $100,000 among those who are raking in $150,000.

Peers in our little pond, such as the old college crew, are the most accurate yardsticks of our own performance. They probably started out in life with the same advantages as we did and are the same age. They are our rivals, fair and square. "The more similar people are to us, the more we can really gauge their success in a particular area," says Richard Smith, associate professor of psychology at the University of Kentucky. He recalls drawing a stick figure on his two-year-old daughter's easel just before the mother of one of her preschool classmates walked in. "Did your daughter do that?" the girl's mother exclaimed in a panicky voice, while her own daughter continued to scribble wildly. The two little girls happened to share the same birthday, which made the mother even more acutely afraid that her daughter's fine motor skills were dramatically outclassed.

"People are rarely satisfied with simply knowing their own performance, as anyone who has taught students knows," says Smith. "They want to know how they stack up against others." Our natural tendency is to establish a pecking order: When placed in an unfamiliar group, subjects are quick to accurately judge where they and other group members rank on various characteristics, even before they speak to one another. Supposed respites from ranking are not immune either: The heavier children at fat camp are ostracized; communes -- even prisons -- are heavily stratified.

We are primed for pettiness, programmed to notice seemingly inconsequential gradations, but for good reason: Being chronically dissatisfied is an effective stimulus to best your more complacent peers.

David Buss, of the University of Texas at Austin, and his graduate student Sarah Hill see our persistent status anxiety as a survival mechanism developed hundreds of thousands of years ago when our psychological apparatuses took form. In those times, we traveled in small herds and jockeyed for food and love in very direct ways that lent urgency to cutthroat ranking (as well as to cooperative living). The civilized modern stage upon which status dramas are enacted is not so stripped down -- we don't literally miss out on meals if our neighbors overstuff their pantry -- but the mechanism remains intact and attuned to the same ultimate goals.

Because it is in our nature to home in on the goals of survival and reproduction, men and women conserve mental energy for comparisons in realms that relate directly to these two pursuits. Think of how women are easily irritated by a gorgeous secretary, while (straight) men barely cast a glance at the dashing young male paralegals in the office. Women are more envious of other women's good looks, say evolutionary psychologists, because appearance is an important marker of youth and fertility. In a beauty-contest version of the economist Frank's salary preferences breakdown, women in Buss and Hill's survey reported they would rather be a "5" among "4s" than an "8" among "10s." Their male counterparts would rather be the best looking in absolute terms.

Men are designed to amass solid evidence that they could support a mate and offspring. (As the rapper Young MC once said, "If you got no money and you got no car, then you got no woman, and there you are.") This necessary "proof of resources" may take the form of hard cash or merely cachet, anything that could reassure a woman that she will be provided for. Like feathers on a peacock's tail, unnecessary yet conspicuous displays send a loud signal to potential mates: "I have resources to burn over here!"

But complex forces scramble these deep-seated tendencies and account for why women don't exclusively focus on their appearance, nor men on their finances. Buss and Hill's research shows that just like men, women would prefer to have a higher salary than others in their reference group. Hill reasons that this has nothing to do with women wanting to be perceived as providers. Women just happen to like "stuff." "The reason men like acquiring resources is because women like them so much," she says, "whether they get them from men or from themselves."

Then there's the rise of the "metrosexual" man, whose very existence defies the dogma that men don't care to look better than their peers. "As women gain access to their own resources, they are sampling more from the buffet of the mating table," Hill explains. "Men have to up the ante, to be attractive, too."

Once we perceive our chances for happiness are threatened by another's flowing locks of raven hair or tricked-out Hummer, a complementary adaptive response kicks in: envy. When we stand to miss out on life's prizes, on what we think we deserve or could achieve, envy's distinct blend of inferiority and hostility surges through us. "The brute fact is that it does matter if we are not comparing well with someone else," says Smith. "People who don't feel envy are going to wither away. Its hostile edge makes it a special call to action, and it may create the necessary impulse to narrow the gap or to move ahead."

Just as with anxiety, says Peter Salovey, professor of psychology at Yale, a mild dose of envy can energize us and concentrate our efforts: "If I really wish I had a car like my neighbor's, then that will motivate me to put my nose to the grindstone and earn more money in order to be able to buy that car." Monitoring the circumstances under which our envy attacks occur may even help us figure out who we are. "Envy helps us know what's really important to us," he says. If we consistently feel envy toward classmates who earn perfect grades or climbers who summit mighty peaks, these must be the domains on which we stake our reputations.

There is a difference between helpful stabs of envy and their pathological variant, however. People who are dissatisfied with life in general are more envious, as are people who exhibit neuroticism, which is characterized by tendencies to feel worried, insecure and excitable. Smith theorizes that the chronically envious may get into a pattern of misinterpreting social comparison information. Like vigilantes, they are constantly scanning for evidence that they do not measure up. Those who suffer from depression are likely to shine the worst possible light on themselves when making comparisons and are therefore also more susceptible to envy. And envy is ultimately isolating. Envy impairs your ability to maintain close relationships, which happen to be the best refuge from a status-obsessed society, warns veteran journalist Chris Hedges, author of Losing Moses on the Freeway: The 10 Commandments in America. "Envy pushes us away from what's most precious, and that is love." Those who are lonely, who lack close personal relationships, are most susceptible to status anxiety, he says.

"It's not enough to succeed," Gore Vidal famously quipped. "One's friends must fail." But there's one caveat to the measuring game. Someone else's good fortune doesn't spark envy if their gain is not our loss. Finding a partner within a small pool of singles, for example, is a zero-sum game akin to musical chairs: Each time someone else pairs off, your chance of getting left out increases. But if you're already happily married, someone else's marriage doesn't affect your happiness directly. Buss and Hill found that you'd prefer to stay married for as long as possible, rather than simply longer than others in your reference group who remain together. You'll feel sentimental (and perhaps hopeful that your own union will go the distance) at your next-door neighbors' golden anniversary celebration, not envious of their longevity.

Because envy is a direct threat to self-esteem, we often twist it into something more palatable, says Smith, and decide to denigrate the quality (or person) we envy. You may sigh as you thumb through the alumni journal, reflecting on the tragedy that is your former best friend's transformation. She may have done well for herself, but she sure did sell out! There's just no trace of that simple, virtuous and completely nonthreatening girl you once loved. But then the next day, you'll finally map out a plan for that import-export venture you're going to start. How nice it will feel to drop the alumni bulletin a note when it gets off the ground.


Date: February 15th, 2006 12:44 PM
Author: ...mobiusnu... (Unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum)
Subject: PVC/Peak Oil Conversion Story

Date: June 5th, 2005 1:49 AM

Author: Thersites

i was pretty distressed about peak oil and its implications, which is to say that i was filled with dread about our impending doom. (lifeaftertheoilcrash.net if you're not convinced yet.) i was at work (lowe's) early in the morning, desperately trying to think of a way to save myself and convince my family to sell their stock and real estate and head for the proverbial hills. in thinking this through i sort of likened myself to john the baptist - a wild man coming out of nowhere announcing something big. i guess that thought tipped me onto God - i made an urgent pleading to him: 'deep down i've always wanted to believe but i've never been able to. if you're up there, please, just nudge me over the edge. i could really use it right now'. over the next 10-15 minutes occurred a series of strange coincidences.

first, over the overhead radio came on a breakup song, the lyrics of which went something like, 'it's over now and there's nothing you can do about it'. afterward a second song (i think by carole king) came on, the lyrics of which ran, 'the earth shakes under my feet, the sky comes tumbling down, tumbling down'. afterward a third song came on - 'here comes the sun' by the beatles. 'that's odd,' i thought, 'it tells a little story'.

after that i overheard my department manager talking about natural disasters. (if memory serves, i think he was saying something about how when the tsunami hit, it was a great fortune that not more lives were lost to disease.) i took it into my head that i should go talk to him, that if i told him i thought there was an oncoming catastrophe, he of all people might not think i was crazy. as i went over to talk to him, he was holding a long PVC pipe in his hand, resembling a staff (the 'staff' was curved at one end). he banged it twice against the ground, yelling 'john!' each time (there's a guy in the dept. named john). i'm not sure what significance, if any, that had, but it added to the sort of surreal dream-quality state i remember being in at the time.

when i got up to this guy, my manager, i said, 'hey johnny, there's something i want to talk to you about'. he said, ok, and we went into an empty aisle. 'you might think i'm nuts,' i said, 'but i think there's going to be a big disaster soon'. before i could explain about the oil, he calmly and immediately said, 'i know, i'm a witch,' and pulled out a hidden medallion that was hanging from his neck. 'but i'm a survivor. i'm going to survive this thing, and my family is going to survive too.' he also made clear that he had had these beliefs for a long time, that it wasn't a fad thing, and he made some strange remarks about satan - both that he didn't believe he existed, and that his greatest trick was convincing everyone of the same.

i was tripped out by the whole thing, but i didn't convert just yet. i finished my shift and went on to my other job across town. i was able to concentrate on my work, but i kept thinking about the events of earlier that day, and i kept thinking about peak oil. finally, near the end of the day, i asked my boss, a christian, if he believed in the evangelical interpretation of the book of revelation - did he think it would actually happen. he said absolutely, and not only that but it'd happen soon, and he went on to give some scriptural support of his belief - but i was too consumed by my own thoughts to really listen. then i told him that i thought something big was going to happen soon, too, and i gave a short explanation why.

he said, marcus, if God has put this weight on your heart, then maybe that's for a reason. as soon as he said that i burst into tears, sobbing. i just couldn't control myself. he said, if you want to come to Christ now, you can do that. i nodded, and he led me in a prayer. i was so overwhelmed, though, that i could only get the first couple lines out, though i repeated the rest of them in my head. as this happened, a fire came on me. it felt like i was bursting and vibrating with energy and light - it felt like i was incredibly, incredibly high. i was so overwhelmed that i left right off, i told him that i couldn't be there any more. i walked to my car, still full to the brim with the Spirit, still crying but this time in joy. the high, the highest i've ever been in my life, lasted about 30 minutes. the anxiety and dread of before had evaporated. i called some people who i knew would be happy to hear the good news, people i knew had been praying for me my whole life - like my grandma.

this is the first part of my story. i'm going to take a break now to get something to drink and catch up on the other questions on this thread.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=193235&forum_id=2#2933980 )


Date: March 5th, 2006 5:34 PM
Author: ƒjackie

Homeless Man Set on Fire in Boston Park

By ANDREW RYAN, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 36 minutes ago

BOSTON - A homeless man sleeping in a park was attacked early Sunday by two men who kicked him in the stomach and then set him on fire, police said.

No arrests were made and police gave no indication of what might have provoked the attack.

The 30-year-old homeless man, whose name was not released, told police he was awakened by the men kicking him in Langone Park in the city's North End.

He drifted back to sleep after the assault, but the men returned, drenched him with a flammable liquid and set his legs on fire, police said.

A 911 caller reported flames in the park, and firefighters found the man wrapped in a blanket after he had ripped off some of his burning clothes.

"He was shivering and was partially dressed," said police spokesman John Boyle.

The park is a short walk from a cluster of downtown bars.

The victim was treated at Massachusetts General Hospital for burns to his legs.

Nationally, the number of assaults against the homeless has risen dramatically since 2002, according to a recent report by the National Coalition for the Homeless. In 2005, 73 homeless people were assaulted nationwide and 13 died, the report said.

Last August, a 40-year-old homeless man died in Boston after he was beaten. Two teenagers have been charged with manslaughter.

In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a surveillance camera captured two people beating a homeless man to death with baseball bats, the same night two other men were seriously injured. Three teenagers have pleaded not guilty to charges of murder and attempted murder.



Date: April 16th, 2006 12:31 PM
Author: ƒjackie

Police: Suspect Planned to Eat Okla. Girl


By SEAN MURPHY, Associated Press Writer 59 minutes ago

PURCELL, Okla. - The body of a 10-year-old girl was found in a plastic tub in her neighbor's closet, and police said she was killed as part of the neighbor's elaborate plan to eat human flesh.

Her attacker apparently considered doing the same to other victims, a prosecutor said.

Jamie Rose Bolin had deep saw marks on her neck and apparently had been hit several times with a wooden cutting board, police Chief David Tompkins said. Agents removed meat tenderizer and barbecue skewers from his apartment, one floor down from the apartment where the girl lived with her father.

"This appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, then dispose of the organs and bones," Tompkins said.

Kevin Ray Underwood, 26, was arrested Friday after investigators found Jamie's body in a bedroom closet in his apartment, authorities said. The girl's unclothed body was inside a large plastic tub, along with a towel used to soak up blood, officials said. She wasn't dismembered.

The district attorney planned to file first-degree murder charges Monday and said he would seek the death penalty.

"This does not appear to be a spur-of-the-moment crime of opportunity but a well-thought-out, premeditated act with months of planning and preparation," McClain County District Attorney Tim Kuykendall said.

Underwood was being held on a complaint of first-degree murder, a jail official said. It was not immediately known whether he had a lawyer.

Tompkins said Underwood had no apparent criminal record. He also said he didn't know if Underwood had a history of mental illness, but said he expects mental competency will be an issue if Underwood goes to trial.

Investigators became suspicious of Underwood when he stopped at to a checkpoint set up near the apartment complex on Friday, said Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper Kera Philippi.

"He just wasn't acting right. He was acting suspicious," Philippi said. "From there, they talked to him and the

FBI took him in to questioning."

Jamie, a freckled-face, red-haired girl who liked to play with Barbie dolls, was last seen Wednesday at the library in Purcell, about 20 miles south of Oklahoma City.

She knew Underwood, who would entertain her with his pet rat on his shoulder, Kuykendall said. The night before her disappearance, Underwood offered to let her use the telephone to order pizza, the prosecutor said.

A preliminary autopsy report said the girl died from blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation. Investigators believe she died Wednesday, after being struck with the cutting board, then was suffocated with duct tape and her killer's hand. She was sexually assaulted after she died, officials said.

"Jamie was in the apartment below us the whole time," said Rose Fox, Jamie's grandmother.

Underwood said he began fantasizing about eating someone a year ago, Kuykendall said. The prosecutor added that authorities believe "that while she was ultimately chosen to be the victim of this horrific crime, that other people had been targeted and considered," including a a woman and a 5-year-old boy.

Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation agents seized a decorative dagger, a hack saw, duct tape, meat tenderizer, barbecue skewers, a duffel bag, the cutting board, a computer, and a videotape about a serial killer, Tompkins said.

They also found the victim's bicycle hidden under a bed, Tompkins said.

Jamie lived with her father, Curtis Bolin, an auto mechanic, her grandmother said. Jamie's mother, Jenny, is a truck driver in Oklahoma City. The couple separated several years ago, Fox said.

The child's father was under sedation.

"His whole life revolved around Jamie," Fox said. "He didn't go out and party. He didn't drink or smoke. This has probably destroyed him."


Date: April 16th, 2006 4:06 PM
Author: RedGrange

"This appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse, then dispose of the organs and bones"

Why wouldn't you eat the organs?


Date: October 25th, 2006 8:29 PM
Author: Irate Preacher Al-Zarqawi

you mean you would? savage.


Date: April 16th, 2006 4:17 PM
Author: beleza

Jarret Cohen = GTO??


Date: October 25th, 2006 8:26 PM
Author: ƒjackie

Area man charged with bestiality

Tuesday, October 24, 2006



A 44-year-old Saginaw man remains jailed today on charges of bestiality after he was seen engaged in sexual acts with a dead dog, Michigan State Police troopers said.

Ronald Kuch was arrested after police searched the area of Midland and Carter roads Friday for a man who ran away from a Bay County Animal Control officer. The entire incident was within view of a nearby day care center.

At his arraignment on Monday, Kuch demanded a preliminary examination in Bay County District Court. District Judge Craig Alston ordered him to remain jailed in lieu of $500,000 bond pending a hearing on the evidence Nov. 6.

Kuch is charged with crimes against nature and assaulting a law enforcement officer.

Troopers said a woman from the day care center called for animal control because there was a dead dog near the property that had been hit by a car several days earlier.

Before officers could arrive, the man showed up and began engaging in sexual acts with the dog, police said. The animal control officer also reported seeing Kuch involved in the sex act and as he approached him, Kuch shoved him away and ran off.

State troopers searched the area and found the man hiding in the attic of a nearby house.

Officers determined that the house belonged to the man's girlfriend and later learned that the dog, a black Labrador retriever, also belonged to the girlfriend. The dog had been dead for four or five days.

The official charge of crimes against nature carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison. If the person is a repeat offender, the maximum is life in prison.

Pic of the dood: http://megain.smugmug.com/photos/105310963-M-1.jpg


Date: December 2nd, 2006 11:09 AM
Author: ††


Date: March 30th, 2007 8:01 PM
Author: A Simple Asian Man

wow man.


Date: March 13th, 2007 1:14 AM
Author: ...mobiusnu... [visiting] (Afterwards I wiped my tail with an attorney's bag.)

Looks like it's time for some additions.