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when you get on stage to do standup what's your best opener

...
Rose Field Pistol
  03/21/17
How many of y'all like sex?
mentally impaired bright native
  03/21/17
pretty good
Rose Field Pistol
  03/21/17
"Women deserve equal pay! *wait for cheers* But hold...
crimson abusive piazza electric furnace
  03/21/17
cr. everyone says at some point you should always say someth...
Rose Field Pistol
  03/21/17
what else
Rose Field Pistol
  03/21/17
When I say something anti-Semitic, I want you to point and s...
Doobsian Ape Internal Respiration
  03/21/17
lol
Rose Field Pistol
  03/21/17


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Date: March 21st, 2017 3:09 AM
Author: Rose Field Pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879131)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 8:10 AM
Author: mentally impaired bright native

How many of y'all like sex?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879387)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 8:14 AM
Author: Rose Field Pistol

pretty good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879396)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 8:41 AM
Author: crimson abusive piazza electric furnace

"Women deserve equal pay! *wait for cheers*

But hold on. There's a big problem.

ever notice that guys will flush the toilet BEFORE we're done peeing? I do this. Every guy does this. See, we're the masters of peeing. We not only do it standing up - sorry ladies - we are also the masters of TIMING - the very last drop of pee is going to come out JUST at the end of the flush.

Women, on the other hand - you are sitting down on the job. You are not timing your pee. You are content to just sit around until all the pee comes out - and THEN you flush.

How are you going to get equal pay with that attitude? You don't deserve it! Am I right fellas? *wait for cheers*



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879463)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 8:46 AM
Author: Rose Field Pistol

cr. everyone says at some point you should always say something sexual. everyone's drinking and a lot of people on dates expect that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879480)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 9:04 AM
Author: Rose Field Pistol

what else

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879572)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 9:06 AM
Author: Doobsian Ape Internal Respiration

When I say something anti-Semitic, I want you to point and shout "ANTISEMITE!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879578)



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Date: March 21st, 2017 9:07 AM
Author: Rose Field Pistol

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3559559&forum_id=2#32879582)