Date: October 22nd, 2017 11:33 AM Author: confused hideous locale
Offensive Coordinator of the Texas Longhorns football team, Tim Beck, was shot dead in a grizzly scene outside the First Light Baptist Church this morning. Gunned down in front of his wife and two children, as well as several dozen cheering onlookers, Beck was gurgling and spitting up blood when reached for comment while he was laying on a gurney and being rolled to an ambulance by EMS workers. He managed to clear his airway long enough to comment that "running north-south between the tackles is an unfair form of offense and should be banned from football." He died moments later in the ambulance on the way to the hospital while mumbling incoherently about banning offensive guards from pulling on a counter tray. He was 51 years old.