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My review of American Airlines Business Class GCM-MIA-CDG with pics
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Date: January 14th, 2018 4:22 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams LJL
Miami sucked. It started with the dump hotel I booked trying to bait and switch me and pretty much went downhill from there. Awful city, not sure why I went twice in December. The Caymans were much nicer, if slightly boring. Luckily due to their proximity to the U.S. and the pervasiveness of MURICAN culture, there were plenty of places to watch COLLEGE FOOTBALL. That's pretty much all I did in the Caymans aside from lying on the beach and hanging out with some of my bros who also spent NYE there.
My last day started out nicely on the beach https://imgur.com/a/ByKEG, then turned to shiTTT at Lonestar as I watched OU choke against UGA and Bama SHLONG Clemson. FUCK the SEC, but also LJL at Cucker Maycuck. To get to Paris, I had to fly GCM-MIA, LONG LAYOVER, MIA-CDG. It was retardedly expensive to book the convenient connection, so I had an EARLY as FUCK flight out. I think I woke up at like 5am https://imgur.com/a/8s59G .
I called the bro down at the desk and asked them to bring my rental shitbox around. Driving with the wheel on the British side is weird https://imgur.com/a/jSqOS . I'd done a dry run the previous day while aimlessly cruising around the island, so I knew where the HerTTTz was. It was still closed since it was EARLY as FUCK. I parked my POS https://imgur.com/a/MZkU4 , said farewell https://imgur.com/a/aqqld and went to the terminal https://imgur.com/a/GyoyU .
For some reason the agent at this outsTTTation could only print my boarding pass to Miami. She said the system was giving her some nonsense about trying to apply sticker upgrades for the MIA-CDG flight which made no sense because 1. I was already on a paid ticket in the highest class of service available and 2. You can't use sticker upgrades on longhaul flights.
I copped my boarding pass to Miami, dropped the renTTTal car keys in the convenient box in the terminal and jetted past a group of hispanic people that were marshaling behind an OLDMO in a wheelchair so I wouldn't get trapped behind them at security.
There's no lounge in tiny GCM airport. I sat down near the gate, there were 1-2 18 year old looking attractive girls with their families looking TIRED as FUCK in hoodies with their high school on them. Sorry for no pic :(, then I got in line to board behind DBG's future 2nd wife and her family. I think you can probably guess where this nasally family was from. Them complained nonstop until boarding https://imgur.com/a/PUeKr . This flight (AA 1250) was scheduled to be on an Airbus A319-100, registration N9008U. It looked MAJESTIC with the sun coming up over the field https://imgur.com/a/uas5V .
I was in seat 1A. An old lady who'd had like 6 facelifts was seated next to me in the aisle, and she was a chatty cathy. She told me she lived in The Pierre in NY and was headed to her house in Palm Beach. She mentioned that one of her son's invested in "The Bitcoin," and I lol'd thinking of XO. When she found out I was going to Paris, she wanted to talk all about hotels there, etc...but finally she tuckered herself out and I passed out for like 30 minutes. The flight is SHORT as FUCK.
Immigration in Miami is normally a fucking disaster since no one speaks English and there are horrific lines, but DAT Global Entry kept everything 180. I set off for the Flagship Lounge near D30 https://imgur.com/a/wAckg .
The lounge is OK https://imgur.com/a/NPORo . They have a few showers, ample seating and a hot buffet as well as TVs blaring #fakenews. Since I had ALL DAMN DAY to sit in the lounge, I cracked my knuckles and settled in for a long 180 day of trolling NOWAGS and making father beating tutu addicted FREAKS MAF.
In the lounge the customer service people were able to print my boarding pass to Paris, which seemed like a good thing to have (PHOTO NO WORK :( ).
The gate was FAR away as FUCK, on the walk there a tall girl with a 180 ass led the way. Boarding started almost on time. For this flight we had DAT Boeing 777-200ER registration N783AN. I think AA recently refurbished the cabins. While the seats aren't as nice as what I think is supposed to be on the 773, I found them very comfortable and more private than the BA F seats https://imgur.com/a/35NHP .
Before takeoff I browsed through the films and was blown away to see that someone had made a jjc biopic and even cast a black guy to play him, presumably allowing him to live his blacks on blondes fantasy in film form https://imgur.com/a/OPGly .
Before we pushed back they offered us amenity kits (TTT), but <><><>NOSLIPPERS<><><> and of course <><><>NOPJS<><><>, luckily, I had some Lufthansa F bottoms that I pack in my carry-on for longhaul flight, since I knew AA would NOT be hooking us up.
The menu was meh https://imgur.com/a/QEWWN . The salad and starter were awful, the steak looked terrible but tasted pretty good https://imgur.com/a/06C2v . Seems like AA has cut back because most customers are good little cucks and like having their holds blown out while the airline banks record profits and reduces perks and services.
With the meal I watched "American Made," with Tom Cruise. I think it was in theaters for about 10 minutes. It's loosely based on a true story. This TWA pilot gets tangled up with the CIA, DEA, Medellin Cartel and in Iran Contra. It was pretty entertaining even though Tom Cruise comes off as EXTREMELY off putting these days. The actress that plays his wife is UNGHHHH.
After that, I slept for most of the flight. There was RILL heavy turbulence, which woke me up a few times. I skipped the pre-arrival BRIKFUSS, because LJL at airline BRIKFUSS. The stew woke me up about 30 minutes outside of CDG https://imgur.com/a/qjvdI .
I got up and went to change back into my street clothes and got into a verbal altercation with some CHODE. In the front cabin there's ONE COT DAMN lav for 26 business class seats. I stood outside this lav for at least 10-15 minutes and when the guy inside STILL hadn't come out, I knocked on the door to make sure he was alive. He opened the door and said "you are very rude!" I was like "bro, there are 30 people in this cabin and one lav, you've been in there for 15-20 minutes, other people need to use it before landing," then he was like "this is my time!" and I was like "LJL, you're being a fucking asshole, move it along" and he stormed off to his seat in a huff.
Before landing they gave us fast track passes so we wouldn't have to get crammed behind a planeload of NOWAGS coming to take pictures of every inch of the city https://imgur.com/a/qVJj2 .
After landing they brought us to a fucking APRON position, which seemed really lame to do to passengers getting off a ten hour flight, so we went down DEM stairs and onto a bus https://imgur.com/a/UhwVP .
Immigration was a joke as usual, I don't think they even check to make sure your passport picture matches when you enter France. Copped an uber and made it back to my apt in under an hour to take a nap before going to RAGE with my friends that night https://imgur.com/a/ic53V . Sadly Montana was slow as FUCK, and almost everywhere else was closed since people were still away on NYE vacations :( . |
Date: January 14th, 2018 4:32 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155083) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:20 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams jjc you haven't raged impotently ITT yet, WTF? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155444) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:25 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage other than traffic, dangerous spanish and nothing open west of the turnpike after 10pm, whats wrong with mia? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155475) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:26 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams traffic, all the restaurants suck, everything on the beach is a branch of a place from NY or somewhere else, people don't speak English and most of them just suck to be around. Also the hotels on the beach are all $$$ but the rooms are TINY and a lot of them straight up suck. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155483) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:28 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage there's great restaurants, cuban - la carreta; steak - christies, burger and beer/whiskey - the bar, seafood - obv.
but i already covered traffic and shitholers. also, stay at westin dimplomat or the w ft laud and just drive a1a back and forth. fuck miami bch. |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:31 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams If you don't stay on the beach and you have to meet up with people there at night and get home from there at the end of the night then it's killself territory with the traffic. At least the rooms at Nautilus were decent for the $$$, but so much of the beach is straight pipe rape. Spent the whole three days on the beach except for a quick stop to meet a buddy out in Coconut Grover and an evening in downtown. I'm trying to remember the name of the sports bar my buddy who covers Miami food/nightlife brought me to for a burger. It was supposed to be 180, but was 155 at best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155518) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:33 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage the grove kind of sucks. the gables has two of the places i listed. really, the gables, nmb/aventura and cutler areas have the food covered. mia bch is just a hybrid of tel aviv and nyc's worst parts. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155530) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:34 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams was just an afternoon, he is from Miami and was at his parent's house in Coconut Grover. We watched the FSU game at the Biltmore. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155534) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:35 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage biltmore is in gables, near the U. great hotel actually. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155540) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:35 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Ah, well yea, that one. I'd never been there before. Reminds me of The Breakers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155542) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:36 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage yeah very similar flagler style arch. i didn't even know the grove had one too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155546) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:37 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams it was the one with the U's golf course. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155547) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:38 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage i'd assume that's gables but their football stadium is in ft laud so who the fuck knows. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155553) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:40 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams as far as bars, liked Broken Shaker, Sweet Liberty, The Deuce and the roof at the One Hotel. HATE all the big clubs on the beach and don't like most of the lounges. The Saxon Room or whatever at the Faena was OK as well since it wasn't a completely over crowded SHITHOLD on the night I went. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155571) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:42 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage fountainblu hotel bar, delano by the pool and the old purdy lounge are ok. otherwise loud kids and spanish with nothing making them better than fat tuesdays or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155584) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:43 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams too far to drag all the way up to Fountainbleu. Haven't been to the Delano in a few years. Where's old purdy lounge. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155589) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:44 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage apparently still there 1811 purdy ave. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155601) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 7:18 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams what sort of place? Don't think I've heard about it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35156238) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:30 PM Author: hilarious concupiscible scourge upon the earth mother AA Business class looks good man. I’m flying that back from London this summer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155514) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:31 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Is that on a 777-300? I believe those brand new planes have an even better version of the business class seat. I am flying AA 787's ORD-PEK-DFW in May and I have read mixed reviews of those seats. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155523) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:40 PM Author: hilarious concupiscible scourge upon the earth mother Yeah looks like a 777-300ER so that’s 180 if it’s new, seatguru map looks good too
I used up almost all of my AAdvanTTTTTTTage (((points))) for the ticket and promptly stopped using the card due to the devaluation |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:42 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Usually tough to use AA miles to Europe since AA and AY rarely open seats and BA charges those LOL JUST LOL! fees (and AB folded). I save the AA Miles for Cathay and S.America flights, all they're really good for. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155583) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:43 PM Author: hilarious concupiscible scourge upon the earth mother Yeah I booked it months and months in advance and got lucky, the fees came to 580 bucks total but that’s better than the full fucking 11 grand per ticket lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155592) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:47 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams That's the thing brother, you can find reasonable J flights if you dig, perhaps you should check and consider refunding. I flew JFK-CDG-JFK in AA biz for $1,800 last summer and just booked YYZ-ORD-PEK-DFW-YYZ in AA J for $1,900 roundtrip. If you're paying almost $600 in fees it makes it annoying as FUCK to lose the miles and not earn EQM. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155620) |
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Date: January 15th, 2018 2:29 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams There's a summer sale going on now ~$2,300, check it out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35161162) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 7:33 PM Author: Tripping lilac den indirect expression Did ORD-NRT recently in AA 787 biz. Seats are very nice but you're connected to the seat behind you, so you can feel whenever that person moves. Had to tell a azngirl to fuck off when she complained to me about it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35156367) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 7:38 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Have read that, I think row 6 and 7 aren't connected. I figured the reviewers were being bitches and it wasn't really that big a deal. Is it annoying enough to make sure to cop a seat that isn't connected? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35156445) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 7:41 PM Author: Tripping lilac den indirect expression Wasn't annoying to me at all, but I'd prefer not to deal with some uppity bitch expecting me to stay still so she can be comfortable (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35156465) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 7:44 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams TY, I was in 7A going over already but 3A on the way back, just swapped 3A for 7A. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35156491) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:39 PM Author: tan hominid public bath I LOLed heartily for a few minutes after I realized that a 37 year old “man” sat down and typed all of this shit out. LMAO!!!! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155558) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:40 PM Author: Citrine Wild Location Blood Rage do your parents even let you fly solo? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155565) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:41 PM Author: Histrionic goal in life center (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155577) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:42 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams jfc, took you long enough to get ITT little guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155585) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:39 PM Author: Lavender abnormal whorehouse codepig I don't have near the detail, but my trip started off pretty kooky so far.
I made a thread about this hysterical Mexican guy earlier, only detail I missed was that he had a big pink backpack. I wonder if he was a child sex trafficker?
Then this black chick way out of her element, and I think doped up plopped down next to me on a SW flight and asked where her seat was. Ljl. She remained next to me BLASTING videos on her phone with no headphones until a stew asked if she'd move to allow a couple to sit together. Thank god. She didn't shut up the whole flight and reacted to turbulence like it was a fucking rollercoaster. |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:41 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Where are you headed brother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155575) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:46 PM Author: Lavender abnormal whorehouse codepig Vegas and LA, back through Denver. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155612) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:47 PM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams Bach party or just going to gamble (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155625) |
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Date: January 14th, 2018 5:51 PM Author: Lavender abnormal whorehouse codepig Play some poker, meet up with friends spending some time here, and then catch some friends on the way back who moved away from shitttcago. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35155653) |
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Date: January 15th, 2018 9:09 AM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams nice, probably COLD as FUCK in Chicago also (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35159289) |
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Date: January 16th, 2018 5:52 PM Author: Talented Bistre Incel i lol'd at the jjc biopic. also i can't understand why a business-class menu would have cantaloupe carpaccio (fancy way of saying "sliced cantaloupe"), that sounds like something you would feed to a child. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35170641) |
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Date: January 17th, 2018 8:34 AM Author: Massive Curious Gay Wizard Laser Beams It was pretty terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3859454&forum_id=2#35174091) |