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attending a Jewish service tonight. Taking advice.

my father-in-law is being honored at his conservative synago...
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
protip: nobody will give a fuck. this isn't iran; there aren...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
porkpie hat or classic Marlins hat?
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
kippah > nothing > porkpie > marlins
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
(member of the 2003 Yankees)
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
that was painful :(
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
...
Mint crotch
  02/25/18
* wears Van Dutch hat *
Sadistic Canary Juggernaut
  02/23/18
might as well wear a I'M A PROLE t-shirt
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
Don't wear a sports team hat, they will see you as prole ...
Massive Ratface
  02/23/18
I own a porkpie hat
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
hmmm, actually, ask DBG's advice I don't know how that would...
Massive Ratface
  02/23/18
you'll also look odd wearing a hat at a conservative shul. i...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
...
buck-toothed mind-boggling halford clown
  02/23/18
Is it sort of an understated color, or is it a "hey loo...
sexy corn cake
  02/23/18
it's a very understated porkpie hat
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
As long as you keep a somber face like this bro you'll proba...
sexy corn cake
  02/23/18
it's not even brightly colored - it's like a dark green pork...
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
Take some notes on the top farters and report back, please.
maize orchestra pit
  02/23/18
i think of you EVERY time i see a woman go for the cholent a...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
...
magenta elastic band property
  02/23/18
does op need to at least wear some kind of hat?
stirring red space patrolman
  02/23/18
no, that's my point. he SHOULD just to be respectful to his ...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
1. No Hat 2. Khakis, light blue button down, blue blazer, b...
Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate
  02/23/18
I own every article of clothing you mention
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
wasps wear khakis or khaki colored wool slacks?
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
We leave details like that to the Jew lawyers.
Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate
  02/23/18
...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
During the service scatter pocket change on the floor for co...
vibrant mahogany box office dingle berry
  02/23/18
talmud says lost pocket change is considered abandoned prope...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
Talmud also says you should kill all goyim. Pls hurry.
vibrant mahogany box office dingle berry
  02/23/18
not all goyim, just canaanites
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
fuck, wife vetoed the Marlins hat. I can't find my porkpie h...
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
http://www.theemblemsource.com/miami-marlins-kippah-pro-kipp...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
that's a MIAMI Marlins - I am talking FLORIDA Marlins htt...
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
you'll have to make due with the new logo, i guess
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/23/18
It is really best to just wear the kippah.
magenta elastic band property
  02/23/18
it feels like cultural appropriation though. the yarmulke cl...
vengeful gunner
  02/23/18
update?
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/24/18
So my wife nixed the Marlins hat. I couldn't find my porkpie...
vengeful gunner
  02/24/18
180. i called this 100% -- that nobody would care/notice, th...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/24/18
female rabbi was indeed wearing a yarmulke, as did most of t...
vengeful gunner
  02/24/18
did the dyke rabbi give a sermon about how the torah suppose...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/24/18
not that night, but my Trump voter in-laws complain that she...
vengeful gunner
  02/24/18
your inlaws are secular boomer jews but are trumpmos? rare b...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/24/18
they supported Rubio and Kasich in the primary but voted for...
vengeful gunner
  02/24/18
modern orthodox, meaning your wife grew up keeping shabbat a...
Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard
  02/25/18
Orthos literally work 1/4 the time to make the same or more ...
Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate
  02/28/18


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:39 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

my father-in-law is being honored at his conservative synagogue for his long history of support of various charitable causes. I am being forced to attend, along with my wife, because of this big moment.

I am not Jewish. I hope I can get away with wearing a classic Florida Marlins hat (with the "F" and the teal) instead of a yarmulke because I feel silly wearing the latter. I'm dressed in a button-down shirt, khakis, and sneakers. I'm told Friday services are less formal, dress-wise, than Saturday services.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471871)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

protip: nobody will give a fuck. this isn't iran; there arent dress code enforcers at synagogues. you might look odd in a baseball cap. fuck, you might be better off just not even wearing a kippah. nobody's going to make you wear a kippah. but just put one on, it's just a sign of respect for your FIL. it's prole for any grown man to be wearing a baseball cap in public unless he's playing sports, period, let alone wear one at a place of worship.

also, conservative synagogues are dying. nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471903)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:45 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

porkpie hat or classic Marlins hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471924)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

kippah > nothing > porkpie > marlins

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471929)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

(member of the 2003 Yankees)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471950)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:49 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

that was painful :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471951)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2018 4:04 AM
Author: Mint crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35482204)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: Sadistic Canary Juggernaut

* wears Van Dutch hat *

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471934)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:47 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

might as well wear a I'M A PROLE t-shirt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471938)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: Massive Ratface

Don't wear a sports team hat, they will see you as prole

wear a cr hat if you have one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471889)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:43 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

I own a porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471899)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: Massive Ratface

hmmm, actually, ask DBG's advice I don't know how that would do

poast the hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471907)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:46 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

you'll also look odd wearing a hat at a conservative shul. if you were going to an ortho shul, people wear all sorts of hats there and it'd be fine. but people at conservative shuls dont wear hats and you'd look out of place. but again, who cares. nobody will.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471926)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:44 PM
Author: buck-toothed mind-boggling halford clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471913)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:53 PM
Author: sexy corn cake

Is it sort of an understated color, or is it a "hey look at me I play trombone in a 90s swing revival band" kind of hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471981)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:57 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

it's a very understated porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472016)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:10 PM
Author: sexy corn cake

As long as you keep a somber face like this bro you'll probably be fine: https://www.wrongweather.net/fileManager/produtos/kit-neale-polished-felt-pork-pie-orange-hat_24872.jpg

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472137)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

it's not even brightly colored - it's like a dark green porkpie hat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472164)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:42 PM
Author: maize orchestra pit

Take some notes on the top farters and report back, please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471895)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:50 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

i think of you EVERY time i see a woman go for the cholent at the kiddush lunch on saturday morning.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471956)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:13 PM
Author: magenta elastic band property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472166)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:51 PM
Author: stirring red space patrolman

does op need to at least wear some kind of hat?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471968)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:52 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

no, that's my point. he SHOULD just to be respectful to his FIL and to synagogue generally. but a prole marlins cap is worse than nothing imo.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35471975)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:58 PM
Author: Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate

1. No Hat

2. Khakis, light blue button down, blue blazer, brown loafers (offical WASP uniform)

3. Profit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472020)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 4:59 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

I own every article of clothing you mention

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472037)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:00 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

wasps wear khakis or khaki colored wool slacks?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472043)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:02 PM
Author: Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate

We leave details like that to the Jew lawyers.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472066)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:03 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472073)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:04 PM
Author: vibrant mahogany box office dingle berry

During the service scatter pocket change on the floor for comic relief

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472081)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:05 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

talmud says lost pocket change is considered abandoned property and belongs to anyone who picks it up

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472095)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:06 PM
Author: vibrant mahogany box office dingle berry

Talmud also says you should kill all goyim. Pls hurry.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472101)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:09 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

not all goyim, just canaanites

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472131)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:14 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

fuck, wife vetoed the Marlins hat. I can't find my porkpie hat - it's in a box somewhere that I never unpacked when we moved in.

gonna be stuck wearing a yarmulke :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472179)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:15 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

http://www.theemblemsource.com/miami-marlins-kippah-pro-kippah.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472192)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

that's a MIAMI Marlins - I am talking FLORIDA Marlins

https://www.lids.com/florida-marlins-new-era-mlb-cooperstown-low-profile-59fifty-cap/20948640

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472207)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:19 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

you'll have to make due with the new logo, i guess

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472227)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:17 PM
Author: magenta elastic band property

It is really best to just wear the kippah.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472210)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2018 5:18 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

it feels like cultural appropriation though. the yarmulke clearly belongs to one culture. the 1997 and 2003 Florida Marlins attracted a wide and diverse following, they belong to all the people of South Florida AND also to the millions nation wide who were inspired by their scrappy underdog tale

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35472220)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:25 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

update?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35480990)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:30 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

So my wife nixed the Marlins hat. I couldn't find my porkpie hat. I had to wear a yarmulke that came out of a box at the entrance to the synagogue.

I asked my wife what level of dress was appropriate, and she said "I'm wearing a denim skirt, Friday night is casual". So I wore khakis with gym socks and sneakers. My wife realized only in the car that I was wearing gym socks and had a panic attack and said that folks at the synagogue would gossip and call me a "schlub"

Anyway, we get there, and my father-in-law, who is a very wealthy man, is also wearing gym socks. Crisis over.

There were like 12 people at the service. All of them were 60+ years old, except for two families who were speaking Russian. The female rabbi rushed through a bunch of songs in under an hour and then at the very end my father in law was called up and recognized for his charitable activities.

Then everyone went out into the hallway and they ate some bread and drank some wine while singing.

Then my in-laws, my wife, myself, and two other old people went to Bob Evans for shabbat dinner. Everyone had either the pot roast or the fried alaskan cod.

Over dinner, one guy, whose daughter is a v100 senior associate in NYC, started talking to another guy, who is a dentist, about the decision lawyers face re: either gunning for partner or gunning for in-house. The dentist was incredulous. Why would anyone ever not just gun for in-house and have a lot more free time, he asked. BIGLAW hours seemed inconceivable to his dentist mind.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481034)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:38 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

180. i called this 100% -- that nobody would care/notice, that it'll all be olds ("nobody will be there other than olds and boomers. you might be noticed anyway, but who cares?"), etc.

rofl re the dentist.

was the female rabbi a dyke? did she wear a kippa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481097)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:39 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

female rabbi was indeed wearing a yarmulke, as did most of the women there

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481101)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

did the dyke rabbi give a sermon about how the torah supposedly says that trump wants children getting killed in schools?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481108)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:41 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

not that night, but my Trump voter in-laws complain that she does this kind of stuff on occasion

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481111)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

your inlaws are secular boomer jews but are trumpmos? rare breed. 180



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481125)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 24th, 2018 10:44 PM
Author: vengeful gunner

they supported Rubio and Kasich in the primary but voted for Trump in November. they used to be modern orthodox but go to a conservative synagogue because there are no orthodox jews around here.

the guy with the v100 daughter is also a Republican, while the dentist is a huge shitlib who doesn't even support Israel

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35481127)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2018 2:39 AM
Author: Thirsty Spectacular Set Gay Wizard

modern orthodox, meaning your wife grew up keeping shabbat and in a kosher home and went to ortho jewish day schools?

or do you mean more traditional / conservadox.

odd that these boomers are driving on shabbat if they were previously MO.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35482069)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 28th, 2018 4:27 PM
Author: Cordovan Idea He Suggested Senate

Orthos literally work 1/4 the time to make the same or more dough and style over all lawyers. Play tennis with an ortho who arrives in a new lambo/911/AM/Ferrari/Lotus every Spring.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3901935&forum_id=2#35508084)