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100 In-House Job Apps; <><><>NO OFFERS<><><>

There should be a job store or something. Job hunting is ex...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
white male?
flickering locus
  12/07/22
Yes. Should I refuse to answer their exclusionary and divis...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
in house is almost exclusively female now. but if youre seri...
flickering locus
  12/07/22
Lame. Everything is remote now too, which fucking sucks b/c...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
A lot of companies say they're collecting that data for purp...
Supple lake menage turdskin
  12/07/22
have u considered that ur interviewers (including the person...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
They still see you face on zoom. What you put in app may not...
Self-absorbed ruddy kitty
  12/07/22
Shoe polish
lascivious misanthropic friendly grandma
  03/18/23
Any mid-large size company will only hire women / urm for in...
talking stage indirect expression
  12/07/22
I made it three rounds with this really cool company, but th...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
You were born with every advantage in life. Sorry bro for yo...
Hilarious Forum
  12/08/22
If you’re not inhouse already it’s really tough....
mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy
  12/07/22
its easy as shit if youre a woman they waltz in and out of t...
flickering locus
  12/07/22
I was addressing OP on the assumption he’s a straight ...
mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy
  12/07/22
i'm in-house and yeah you either need to know someone or not...
Flesh therapy
  12/07/22
I might join the military for 5 yrs just so I can check a bo...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
Ur too old to join the military
laughsome clown tanning salon
  12/07/22
Active Duty: Be under the age of 42 at the time of entry int...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
If you want to do this then good for you. If you expect tha...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
I need to check a box, man!! I don't want to suck dicks just...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
You're not going to get hired just because of that box. Whe...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
I have +7 yrs of tranny experience. Both general corp + spe...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
jfc this gives me no hoap
Coiffed genital piercing international law enforcement agency
  12/07/22
Also, people don't like being people more prestigious / smar...
talking stage indirect expression
  12/07/22
have you been reaching out to your clients about jorbs? that...
Flesh therapy
  12/07/22
That's the problem - a lot of this experience isn't what in-...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
nothing about you stands out you're not even a gay nigger
Motley dog poop bbw
  12/07/22
Ur too old. No one will believe you want to go in-house. Y...
razzle very tactful heaven
  12/07/22
LOL no this is not the job market equivalent of yield protec...
dark razzmatazz piazza
  12/07/22
"This could change somewhat as layoffs gain steam and p...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
Put your head down, grind, and either hope a client you actu...
dark razzmatazz piazza
  12/07/22
I'm going to offer something else, not that racial/gender di...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
world's changed since then
flickering locus
  12/07/22
The last person I hired was a white Christian guy. Granted,...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
all of the women i know from t14ls have waltzed in and out o...
flickering locus
  12/07/22
I work for a white guy, worked for another white guy before....
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
+90% of all legal departments are just white people LJL
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
Not at companies with composed of 30 somethings
talking stage indirect expression
  12/07/22
I wouldn't go that far. Next level up is an Asian female. ...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
...
ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit
  12/07/22
cr if you’re in some specialized biglaw niche, you ca...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
Your first job is almost certainly going to be at the bottom...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
i copped a good title straight off the bat, can be done mate
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
We don't even hire into good titles unless it is someone tha...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
5 years and 11000 billable hours later: Reply Favorite D...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
this is true. companies are truly retarded with hiring. you ...
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
It becomes less retarded when you realize that they're flood...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
same path here, ground floor to something with an effort/rew...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
it's much easier once you break in.
lilac athletic conference fortuitous meteor
  12/07/22
100 apps are rookie numbers. Keep pushing. Took me like 1000...
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
That is true.
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
You can do it. I interviewed at every major company in the c...
Stimulating mental disorder university
  12/07/22
I knew a bird brain Asian woman who worked in M&A and di...
aromatic costumed lodge
  12/07/22
we all know nutella dude
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
...
aromatic costumed lodge
  12/07/22
I applied to like 200 in house jobs, got interviewed at like...
olive narrow-minded station
  12/07/22
I forgot you're in California where the state actively hates...
aromatic costumed lodge
  12/07/22
You must be a new poster if you don’t know about my po...
olive narrow-minded station
  12/07/22
...
crystalline newt
  12/07/22
While all good and well, California is great from an in-hous...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
...
yellow point
  12/07/22
...
sadistic native coldplay fan
  12/08/22
It's rough out there lately and will soon be worse
arousing insanely creepy jew
  12/07/22
I probably applied to 25 in house roles, got 4 interviews an...
ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit
  12/07/22
have you tried omitting your xo moniker from your resume?
Cowardly cruise ship boistinker
  12/07/22
Not cool man. At least give the guy a fighting chance.
Self-absorbed ruddy kitty
  12/07/22
What are the odds the blue-haired trans freaks over at U.S. ...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
you miss all the shots you dont take lad
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
...
nubile brethren
  12/07/22
While it doesn't hurt to apply your chances are roughly 0.
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
Are you putting your religion and gun ownership on resumes? ...
ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit
  12/07/22
COVID-19 Vaccination U.S. Soccer has mandated the Covid-1...
naked domesticated personal credit line
  12/08/22
What are the in house prospects for Asian and Jew dudes?
Beady-eyed Preventive Strike Son Of Senegal
  12/07/22
congrats, honorary white males (unless the department needs ...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
group leaders often have specific KPIs to "increase DEI...
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
true, and the degree to which it’s true seems to scal...
Green trip regret space
  12/07/22
Real talk, you need to network like crazy, not blind apply. ...
olive narrow-minded station
  12/07/22
AzNGirl who thinks you just apply for jobs and get them as a...
aromatic costumed lodge
  12/07/22
Azns get no AA points in house or any other jobs, schools et...
olive narrow-minded station
  12/07/22
? she provided good, specific advice
crystalline newt
  12/07/22
"networking" and "asking friends" let...
exciting business firm
  12/07/22
I submitted 541 apps over 5 years, tracked in spreadsheet. ...
Sapphire parlor
  12/07/22
Both of his offers?
razzle very tactful heaven
  12/07/22
...
mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy
  12/07/22
...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
...
sadistic native coldplay fan
  12/08/22
...
gaped zombie-like striped hyena
  03/18/23
...
Amethyst spot
  03/18/23
how many interviews?
hairless hospital round eye
  12/07/22
how was the sex
Multi-colored hyperventilating church building
  12/07/22
...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
What job sites do you use?
heady gaping
  12/07/22
not op, but goinhouse.com is pretty good. i got lots of int...
hairless hospital round eye
  12/07/22
I recommend LinkedIn.
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
(Loser)
brass passionate address dragon
  12/07/22
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4039326&mc=1...
brass passionate address dragon
  12/07/22
In-housmo here, we had a pizza party AND birthday cake today...
razzle very tactful heaven
  12/07/22
fuck yeah
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
Do you not have ins w/ any recruiters? I think that's the o...
Swashbuckling learning disabled gaming laptop death wish
  12/07/22
are you willing to move, or no? it was way harder for me th...
crystalline newt
  12/07/22
"working every angle you've got" http://autoadm...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/07/22
Why do people want to go inhouse? It seems like castrating y...
opaque travel guidebook
  12/07/22
it's a joy to have a life outside of work. i can make plans...
crystalline newt
  12/08/22
I was never biglaw. I work at a small firm.
opaque travel guidebook
  12/08/22
ah, I see -- that sounds alpha af to me. i don't litigate
crystalline newt
  12/08/22
It’s life changing really. Not having to bill hours t...
olive narrow-minded station
  12/08/22
Billing hours isn't bad. I just write down the time I spend ...
opaque travel guidebook
  12/08/22
Billing is a top 3 worst part of a firm job
nubile brethren
  12/08/22
Why do people want high paying jobs with reasonable hours an...
Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat
  12/10/22
I work around 40 hours a week and make $300k-ish in flyover ...
high-end doctorate stage
  03/18/23
Maybe the problems is that your personality comes through
massive black woman
  12/07/22
No that’s impossible. As he mentioned he’s a tal...
twinkling comical shrine new version
  12/08/22
WTF recruiters call me
tantric white school cafeteria
  12/08/22
to switch firms or go inhouse?
crystalline newt
  12/08/22
In house. Never worked a day a firm.
tantric white school cafeteria
  12/10/22
Make your own job, brother. You don't need a work daddy to b...
vibrant giraffe
  12/08/22
Are you (a) insulting your wife or (b) implying that women h...
talking stage indirect expression
  12/08/22
First, in-house jobs are for women. Second, my wife is rich ...
vibrant giraffe
  12/09/22
(fwds poast to Paralegal Mohammad)
Navy Boyish National Community Account
  12/10/22
FIRST, WHEN THERE'S NOTHING BUT A SLOW GLOWING DREAM
provocative pink tank quadroon
  03/18/23
YOU CAN DANCE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LIFE
provocative pink tank quadroon
  03/18/23


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:48 AM
Author: nubile brethren

There should be a job store or something. Job hunting is exhausting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598478)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:51 AM
Author: flickering locus

white male?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598485)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:54 AM
Author: nubile brethren

Yes. Should I refuse to answer their exclusionary and divisive questions?? Or should I just claim trans?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598505)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:56 AM
Author: flickering locus

in house is almost exclusively female now. but if youre serious, yeah you should check something. hispanic or trans or something. no point in just punting off applications.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598511)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:02 AM
Author: nubile brethren

Lame. Everything is remote now too, which fucking sucks b/c I slay interviews IRL, especially with women. Women love tall, buff Chads. <><><>ZOOM Interviews<><><>

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598528)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 1:02 PM
Author: Supple lake menage turdskin

A lot of companies say they're collecting that data for purposes of assessing the diversity generally, and it will be kept anonymous and not impact your application. Is that fraudlies?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599207)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 3:48 PM
Author: Green trip regret space

have u considered that ur interviewers (including the person who ultimately makes the hiring decision) may have the ability to observe that ur male and white/azn without consulting a demographic form

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45600054)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 8:01 PM
Author: Self-absorbed ruddy kitty

They still see you face on zoom. What you put in app may not matter but actual diversity will likely give you a boost.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601155)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:38 PM
Author: lascivious misanthropic friendly grandma

Shoe polish

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:57 AM
Author: talking stage indirect expression

Any mid-large size company will only hire women / urm for in-house roles (excluding GC) now adays.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598514)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:00 AM
Author: nubile brethren

I made it three rounds with this really cool company, but they ended up hiring a black vet instead. I'm a T10-mo, he's a T-100 mo. LJL @ this fraud lies economy. Probably dodged a bullet, tbf.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598524)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 11:40 AM
Author: Hilarious Forum

You were born with every advantage in life. Sorry bro for you to beat out a T100 black military vet on the merits, you'd have to at least be an astronaut.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603593)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:58 AM
Author: mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy

If you’re not inhouse already it’s really tough. Aim for smaller places

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598518)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:59 AM
Author: flickering locus

its easy as shit if youre a woman they waltz in and out of those jobs all the time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598521)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:56 AM
Author: mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy

I was addressing OP on the assumption he’s a straight white male

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598831)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 10:59 AM
Author: Flesh therapy

i'm in-house and yeah you either need to know someone or not be a white d00d. very hard to get hired just applying.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598520)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:01 AM
Author: nubile brethren

I might join the military for 5 yrs just so I can check a box for the rest of my life and get guaranteed interviews... Lots of consider ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598526)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:03 AM
Author: laughsome clown tanning salon

Ur too old to join the military

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598534)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:05 AM
Author: nubile brethren

Active Duty: Be under the age of 42 at the time of entry into the JAG Corps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598541)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:09 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

If you want to do this then good for you. If you expect that this will cause you to get hired just because of this then I would think again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598564)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:15 AM
Author: nubile brethren

I need to check a box, man!! I don't want to suck dicks just to get hired.,

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598584)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:18 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

You're not going to get hired just because of that box. When I think of people that "check the box" at my company they still have a bunch of very direct experience AND have a box they checked. XO is very into one weird trick to getting into schools/jobs/etc. Here, it rarely works like that. I remember when I got in-house XO was assuring me that I was totally fucked and should probably leave law altogether.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598603)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:20 AM
Author: nubile brethren

I have +7 yrs of tranny experience. Both general corp + specific subfield. Lots of finance/lending/borrowing xp too. Graduated from T10 w/ A- average. I'm not a slouch. Hiring could be very slow right now due to holidays/economy, or my lack of special-snowflake status is leading to <><><>NO OFFERS<><><>

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598618)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:24 AM
Author: Coiffed genital piercing international law enforcement agency

jfc this gives me no hoap

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598637)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:26 AM
Author: talking stage indirect expression

Also, people don't like being people more prestigious / smarter than they are.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598650)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:34 AM
Author: Flesh therapy

have you been reaching out to your clients about jorbs? that's really the only way to do it as a white d00d

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598697)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:43 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

That's the problem - a lot of this experience isn't what in-house really cares about. They want tech trans, privacy, etc. Banks have their own set of specific regulations so if you really know those then you might have more luck there. That's not my area but Are Reptile might be able to talk about that if he's around.

No one cares about your T10 w/A- average. I don't even know what law school my boss graduated from. I know people out of HYS and people out of no-name law schools. One of our legal execs came to talk about her path up and she literally started as a doc review temp. In-house is overwhelmingly NOT like prestigious law firms. Yeah, I'm out of a T14 but that's not what got me here. They cared more about my CS degree than about what law school I went to.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598748)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:39 PM
Author: Motley dog poop bbw

nothing about you stands out

you're not even a gay nigger

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599074)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 3:13 PM
Author: razzle very tactful heaven

Ur too old. No one will believe you want to go in-house. You need to get hired as a GC.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599863)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 4:10 PM
Author: dark razzmatazz piazza

LOL no this is not the job market equivalent of yield protection.

There is still just an insatiable demand for cushy in house jobs. The number of resumes we see is insane and while this guy’s stats would put him near the top of a pile he won’t be the best let alone standing out head and shoulders above such that he should be getting offers left and right.

This could change somewhat as layoffs gain steam and people realize how vulnerable lawyers who are cost centers can be, but of course when that happens hiring will also fall off a cliff so probably no way supply catches up to the extreme demand.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45600180)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 8:06 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

"This could change somewhat as layoffs gain steam and people realize how vulnerable lawyers who are cost centers can be, but of course when that happens hiring will also fall off a cliff so probably no way supply catches up to the extreme demand."

Also, what's the alternative for lawyers?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601172)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 9:21 PM
Author: dark razzmatazz piazza

Put your head down, grind, and either hope a client you actually have a relationship with has a need and hand picks you for it, or keep grinding and plan to retire early.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601551)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:05 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

I'm going to offer something else, not that racial/gender discrimination isn't a real thing against white men. But in general you're going to need a background in something with real demand in-house. It can't be "I did M&A (or God forbid litigation) for 5 years and now want to be in-house."

I got a job in-house just by applying online in 2013. No, I didn't know anyone. I have no charisma to speak of. I do have a strong tech background and skills in areas that they cared about, so they hired me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598545)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:06 AM
Author: flickering locus

world's changed since then

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598549)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:08 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

The last person I hired was a white Christian guy. Granted, already in-house. The thing is that breaking into in-house is really hard because there's a strong preference to hire people already in-house with direct experience related to the role. Getting hired from a law firm is a heavy lift unless you happen to be getting hired for some specialty role and had a bunch of experience in exactly that group ("this is an IP licensing role and I did IP licensing at the firm").

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598562)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:10 AM
Author: flickering locus

all of the women i know from t14ls have waltzed in and out of jobs at their leisure. fedgov, in house at big name companies, ausa. men are either off the grid or grinding out biglaw/midlaw.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598567)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:15 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

I work for a white guy, worked for another white guy before. My wife who is also in-house also works for a white guy. Yes, a lot of women work in-house though part of that is that women are after in-house from day 1. The best time to go in-house is as soon as you get your first in-house offer and many women are going into areas at law firms specifically to get set up to go in-house. A lot of men want to be partners at law firms and then when that doesn't work out then they want to go in-house. The problem is that by then your background isn't as good of a fit and unlike the women they often haven't been setting themselves up for that jump.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598586)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:23 AM
Author: nubile brethren

+90% of all legal departments are just white people LJL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598633)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:28 AM
Author: talking stage indirect expression

Not at companies with composed of 30 somethings

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598658)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:30 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

I wouldn't go that far. Next level up is an Asian female. But the excuse of "well, I'm a white guy so I can't possibly get an in-house job" isn't reasonable. Yes, it is harder, yes there's discrimination, but obviously plenty of normal white guys manage anyway.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598672)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:40 AM
Author: ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598729)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:30 AM
Author: Green trip regret space

cr

if you’re in some specialized biglaw niche, you can either apply to a thousand jobs like ggtp or you can take that shit “corporate counsel” bottom of the totem pole contract churning role that you probably fancy yourself too good for (if you’re of above average intelligence with the drive to survive biglaw, that’s probably fair). we have ip shittigators and M&A refugees doing the latter.

if you want some plum position, you’re going to need either connection/very useful experience or a lot of things to go your way (probably includes the diverse/female candidates, and there will be several, practically radiating their inability to do the job or being unwilling to take the pay cut).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598671)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:34 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

Your first job is almost certainly going to be at the bottom with a title like "corporate counsel" or "associate counsel" to get your foot in the door. Then you work your way up or get the next level up job in a few years. This is the problem with a lot of guys gunning for in-house. They won't accept this. Many females absolutely will. My very first job was at the very bottom of the totem pole and I remember I made like $113k + bonus. Got a bunch of promotions up and now I'm happy. My wife did exactly the same thing - started at the bottom and promoted up. Then you get people making $300k+ in biglaw and unhappy that they are being considered for that entry level position for a huge pay cut.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598695)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:39 AM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

i copped a good title straight off the bat, can be done mate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598715)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:44 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

We don't even hire into good titles unless it is someone that is like a partner at a major firm and those "good titles" are still huge downgrades for them.

Different places are different, of course, because there's no consistency in-house but anyone holding out for that is going to have a tougher battle. I know if I was shooting for that I wouldn't have made it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598758)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:57 AM
Author: Green trip regret space

5 years and 11000 billable hours later:

Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:19 AM

Author: richard clock

100 apps are rookie numbers. Keep pushing. Took me like 1000 apps but I made it. You can too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598836)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:59 AM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

this is true. companies are truly retarded with hiring. you can keep beating your head against the wall for years and get nowhere, but then luck into the right opportunity.

on titles, in my experience, companies approach on this varies widely. some jealously guard senior titles, others dont seem to give a shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598856)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:09 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

It becomes less retarded when you realize that they're flooded with applications at any given time.

I agree that in-house there's zero consistency. A lot of SV tech cos massively deflate titles so you'll get a generic "sr counsel" role getting $400k+ while elsewhere a VP will be getting $300k or whatever.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598902)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:55 AM
Author: Green trip regret space

same path here, ground floor to something with an effort/reward ratio sufficient to dissuade me from moving on. got the talk early in biglaw, which may be an advantage since lifestyle creep hadnt set in and low level entry point was less of an issue both financially and from an ego perspective.

ive seen people walk directly into midlevelish roles, but they’re usually specialists and the roles often seem like a pain in the ass compared to the ones that people get promoted into, like fixing broken aspects of internal gdpr compliance vs floating up and gradually having people redirected to report to you for functions that already run themselves

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598820)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 3:34 PM
Author: lilac athletic conference fortuitous meteor

it's much easier once you break in.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599985)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:19 AM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

100 apps are rookie numbers. Keep pushing. Took me like 1000 apps but I made it. You can too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598608)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:20 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

That is true.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598613)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:23 AM
Author: nubile brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598632)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:25 AM
Author: Stimulating mental disorder university

You can do it. I interviewed at every major company in the country. And a bunch of shithole startups too. I had 3 rounds at Theranos LJL



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598641)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:31 AM
Author: aromatic costumed lodge

I knew a bird brain Asian woman who worked in M&A and didn't like it because it was "too hard" and she got tons of in house offers and picked the best one that suited her lifestyle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598675)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:37 AM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

we all know nutella dude

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598710)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:58 AM
Author: Green trip regret space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598842)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:00 PM
Author: aromatic costumed lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598862)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:11 PM
Author: olive narrow-minded station

I applied to like 200 in house jobs, got interviewed at like 5, this was only only offer.

I remember I had to start a twitter account in order to apply for a job there. What a joke.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598910)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:19 PM
Author: aromatic costumed lodge

I forgot you're in California where the state actively hates your people and you still vote Dem and do nothing about it ljl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598955)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:25 PM
Author: olive narrow-minded station

You must be a new poster if you don’t know about my political affiliation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598999)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:41 PM
Author: crystalline newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599088)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:35 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

While all good and well, California is great from an in-house jobs perspective.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599040)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:25 PM
Author: yellow point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598998)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 10:25 AM
Author: sadistic native coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603186)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:32 AM
Author: arousing insanely creepy jew

It's rough out there lately and will soon be worse

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598685)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:32 AM
Author: ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit

I probably applied to 25 in house roles, got 4 interviews and dinged at all. Then a recruiter hit me up randomly one day and 3 months later I was starting at my first in house gig. Also a white man.

You’ll make it just keep plugging away.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:33 AM
Author: Cowardly cruise ship boistinker

have you tried omitting your xo moniker from your resume?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598692)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 8:04 PM
Author: Self-absorbed ruddy kitty

Not cool man. At least give the guy a fighting chance.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601162)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:41 AM
Author: nubile brethren

What are the odds the blue-haired trans freaks over at U.S. Soccer would be interested in a gun-owning conservative Christian white male?

https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/3391675429



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598734)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:44 AM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

you miss all the shots you dont take lad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598753)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:45 AM
Author: nubile brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598762)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:46 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

While it doesn't hurt to apply your chances are roughly 0.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598771)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:58 AM
Author: ocher histrionic scourge upon the earth orchestra pit

Are you putting your religion and gun ownership on resumes? I may have identified the problem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598841)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 12:28 PM
Author: naked domesticated personal credit line

COVID-19 Vaccination

U.S. Soccer has mandated the Covid-19 vaccine and is requiring all staff to be fully vaccinated at the start of employment

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603876)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:46 AM
Author: Beady-eyed Preventive Strike Son Of Senegal

What are the in house prospects for Asian and Jew dudes?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598764)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:03 PM
Author: Green trip regret space

congrats, honorary white males (unless the department needs someone to handle asia)

recently watched an affable jewish guy with half decade of biglaw experience (including directly on-point in specialized industry) + half decade of inhouse experience lose out to minority female with significantly worse law school, less and worse inhouse experience, and no biglaw at all

it was justified as being out of concern that he would quickly want a bigger role and promotion. not necessarily wrong, but holy shit tough scene lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598875)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:04 PM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

group leaders often have specific KPIs to "increase DEI in hiring" which strongly incentivizes hiring unqualified minorities

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598885)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:11 PM
Author: Green trip regret space

true, and the degree to which it’s true seems to scale with entity size. DEI/ESG is insidious.

the coca cola thing outside counsel thing was a funny correlate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598911)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:15 PM
Author: olive narrow-minded station

Real talk, you need to network like crazy, not blind apply. I thought I had no connections either, but there’s always a friend of a friend who works at whatever company. Before you apply, ask your lawyer and non lawyer friends if they know someone who works there.

The other issue is how your resume is positioned. Gen corporate, m&a and cap markets are not marketable areas. Companies are rarely doing these trans in-house and outsource that to big lawyers (like you). They want people to do mundane day to day shit looking at consumer privacy shit and handling regulatory issues surrounding product launches etc. you need to angle yourself as having experience non-biglaw shit.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598941)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:18 PM
Author: aromatic costumed lodge

AzNGirl who thinks you just apply for jobs and get them as a white guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598954)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:24 PM
Author: olive narrow-minded station

Azns get no AA points in house or any other jobs, schools etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45598993)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 12:43 PM
Author: crystalline newt

? she provided good, specific advice

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599096)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:46 PM
Author: exciting business firm

"networking" and "asking friends"

let me stop you right there...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599716)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 1:29 PM
Author: Sapphire parlor

I submitted 541 apps over 5 years, tracked in spreadsheet.

Got 2 offers, and one of those was from a gay dude (my boss) who wanted to fuck me. I had zero experience in the industry lmao. I accepted that offer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599352)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:09 PM
Author: razzle very tactful heaven

Both of his offers?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599519)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:52 PM
Author: mildly autistic cerise locale really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599750)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 9:41 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601623)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 10:26 AM
Author: sadistic native coldplay fan



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603193)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:36 PM
Author: gaped zombie-like striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069610)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:38 PM
Author: Amethyst spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069622)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:17 PM
Author: hairless hospital round eye

how many interviews?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599589)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:18 PM
Author: Multi-colored hyperventilating church building

how was the sex

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599594)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 9:41 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601624)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:16 PM
Author: heady gaping

What job sites do you use?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599579)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:28 PM
Author: hairless hospital round eye

not op, but goinhouse.com is pretty good. i got lots of interviews through it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599634)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 3:13 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

I recommend LinkedIn.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599864)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:48 PM
Author: brass passionate address dragon

(Loser)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599728)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 2:50 PM
Author: brass passionate address dragon

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=4039326&mc=15&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45599737)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 4:04 PM
Author: razzle very tactful heaven

In-housmo here, we had a pizza party AND birthday cake today.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45600140)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 7:30 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

fuck yeah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601019)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 7:46 PM
Author: Swashbuckling learning disabled gaming laptop death wish

Do you not have ins w/ any recruiters? I think that's the only way I've seen anyone get an in-house job. That or as part of a liked but not that much associate exit plan by the firm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601088)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 9:38 PM
Author: crystalline newt

are you willing to move, or no? it was way harder for me than switching firms, you've got to keep applying, talking to recruiters, networking, working every angle you've got.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601614)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 9:41 PM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

"working every angle you've got"

http://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&mc=96&forum_id=2#45599594

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601628)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:09 PM
Author: opaque travel guidebook

Why do people want to go inhouse? It seems like castrating yourself to me.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601902)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 7:12 AM
Author: crystalline newt

it's a joy to have a life outside of work. i can make plans and be confident that i won't have to cancel. i sleep the same schedule, regularly. i get to spend extra time with my family. is your biglaw practice based on deals, lit, or some specialty area? i could maybe be persuaded, going back to the bigger paycheck does sound nice every once in a while

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602680)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 9:55 AM
Author: opaque travel guidebook

I was never biglaw. I work at a small firm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603074)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 11:07 AM
Author: crystalline newt

ah, I see -- that sounds alpha af to me. i don't litigate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603423)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 11:38 AM
Author: olive narrow-minded station

It’s life changing really. Not having to bill hours takes the anxiety to zero.

It’s not great financially for most, but you can usually make it to $300-$400k and of course there’s a bunch making $500k+ in finance/tech.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603576)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 12:13 PM
Author: opaque travel guidebook

Billing hours isn't bad. I just write down the time I spend doing things.

If you are saying the nice thing is that you don't do any work most of the time, then I think that is a separate perk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603804)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 12:16 PM
Author: nubile brethren

Billing is a top 3 worst part of a firm job

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45603819)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2022 1:51 AM
Author: Lavender meetinghouse toilet seat

Why do people want high paying jobs with reasonable hours and job stability? I guess we'll never know.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45611970)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:44 PM
Author: high-end doctorate stage

I work around 40 hours a week and make $300k-ish in flyover country. Good job security, not much pressure, not a bad gig.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2022 11:20 PM
Author: massive black woman

Maybe the problems is that your personality comes through

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45601916)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 8:03 AM
Author: twinkling comical shrine new version

No that’s impossible. As he mentioned he’s a tall, buff chad that HR creams over if the interact with him. Must be something else

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602771)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 8:38 AM
Author: tantric white school cafeteria

WTF recruiters call me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602855)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 8:50 AM
Author: crystalline newt

to switch firms or go inhouse?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602881)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2022 12:22 AM
Author: tantric white school cafeteria

In house. Never worked a day a firm.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45611755)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 8:53 AM
Author: vibrant giraffe

Make your own job, brother. You don't need a work daddy to boss you around!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602889)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 8th, 2022 9:10 AM
Author: talking stage indirect expression

Are you (a) insulting your wife or (b) implying that women have lower standards?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45602930)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 9th, 2022 12:47 PM
Author: vibrant giraffe

First, in-house jobs are for women. Second, my wife is rich (via her alpha husband) and she doesn't need the job and doesn't have to take shit from a boss.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45609042)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2022 12:44 AM
Author: Navy Boyish National Community Account

(fwds poast to Paralegal Mohammad)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#45611817)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:37 PM
Author: provocative pink tank quadroon

FIRST, WHEN THERE'S NOTHING

BUT A SLOW GLOWING DREAM

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069615)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 18th, 2023 7:38 PM
Author: provocative pink tank quadroon

YOU CAN DANCE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LIFE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5248901&forum_id=2#46069623)