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Just farted, office smells like an asshole.
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:37 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann Oh Christ. Literally smells like something died in my ass. I can't stop sniffing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136241) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: talented dilemma psychic this had your markings written all over it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136248) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: Vigorous immigrant kitchen now so do his tighty-whiteys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: Exciting Arrogant Potus Casino have you pooped yet today? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136249) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:38 AM Author: greedy jewess I don't know how he waits so long. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136253) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann I never have to go until about 11. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136260) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: greedy jewess I actually wish I was that way. I would be more awake and could enjoy it more, like waiting right up to the point that you know it's going to feel best. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136275) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann It's not as fun as it sounds. The worst is if it comes a bit too early and I'm on the metro or something. I start sweating, get dizzy... it's not fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136283) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:43 AM Author: Insecure diverse forum queen of the night i've always wondered why you get dizzy. is it b/c you're extracting so much energy to hold it in? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136298) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:44 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann I'm not sure either. But it's literally the worst feeling in the world. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136309) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: Insecure diverse forum queen of the night true. especially when you know you can't do anything about it. you just gotta hold it in and pray. it's been awhile since i've shit my pants, but there's always a worry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136318) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: greedy jewess Have you ever crapped your pants? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136319) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann Of course. Most recently my senior year in college. Hung over, driving my girlfriend home to her apartment, had to pull over because I thought I was going to vomit, instead had diarrhea all over myself. Fun morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136329) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: greedy jewess That's lucky. My last one happened at work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136352) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:50 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann Yikes, that's a nightmare. Especially if you have to take the train home. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136359) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:16 AM Author: greedy jewess Awful. The worst ever.
I was sitting at my desk and felt like I had to release a normal, if substantial fart. I briefly considered the remote chance that it might be more and thought about hitting the can, but I said fuck it and fearlessly let loose. I immediately faced my horrifying mistake. I wasn't taking a gas exit; I was taking a wet, viscous shit.
I clenched my anus, hoping to suck it back in, or at least plug up the stench seeping through the back of my khakis. But it was no use. Within just a moment, I was sitting in a thick, mud-like plume the color of peanut butter. Overcome by effluvium, I clutched my nostrils and stood. I felt a slow drip roll down the back of my leg. I turned around. It had stained the cloth of my office chair.
I grabbed my coat, locked my office door, and hit the train. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:18 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann I'm crying! Best story ever! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136587) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:20 AM Author: greedy jewess You know how shit is nice and warm? Not after 20 minutes. It's cold. Terrible. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136618) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:21 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann Ooh, I just got the chills. I've definitely never felt cold shit. I'm curious... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136629) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:31 AM Author: greedy jewess It's probably worth it just to see. This weekend, crap your pants and stand outside for a few minutes.
Especially if that older broad is coming. It'll test her mettle. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:35 AM Author: Insanely Creepy Hot Rigor I almost pissed my pants reading this one. you should warn people before you drop bombs like this. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136772) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 11:24 AM Author: Insanely Creepy Hot Rigor 185. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136655) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 12:14 PM Author: amethyst well-lubricated university puppy absolutely exquisite. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137264) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 1:13 PM Author: greedy jewess Why II? You can't get banned here can you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#137913) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:29 PM Author: Rose Useless Brakes Hunting Ground so the next day you had to return to caked shit on your office chair?
i would have wiped the chair down before leaving. i bet all your khakis smell like shit now. |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:31 PM Author: greedy jewess I returned to the office that day wearing different pants. I cleaned if off as well as I could with wet paper towels, but a faint stain remained.
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:33 PM Author: Rose Useless Brakes Hunting Ground I'm going to carefully check all my future office chairs very carefully from now on. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138865) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: greedy jewess I've sniffed the office chairs of hot associates. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138876) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 2:34 PM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann A+ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#138886) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:11 PM Author: greedy jewess Weekends were fun. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195428) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:14 PM Author: maniacal piazza Were you the kind of guy who also sniffed their shoes? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195449) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:57 PM Author: greedy jewess No. I couldn't care less about feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195775) |
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Date: June 21st, 2005 5:12 PM Author: irradiated weed whacker Wouldn't it be embarrassing if the security cameras picked this up? Or, the post where you wipe the remaining scat off your chair? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3075099) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: Vermilion Overrated Lay excellent writing. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287049) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 8:07 AM Author: Vermilion Overrated Lay excellent cunnilingus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287050) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:45 AM Author: greedy jewess I think so. It becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. The same thing happens when I take a leak when I'm really hung over. I start to get cold sweats and have to lean against the wall with my right arm.
Edit: it's the same feeling, but for different reasons, i think |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: Marvelous newt menage i never understood that part of the morning after (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136320) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:48 AM Author: greedy jewess When that happens in the morning when I'm hungover and have peeled myself off the bed solely because I have to piss so bad I might die, it's like time slows down. A piss that would normally seem like 20 seconds feels like 20 minutes. Things blur and grog. Agony. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136344) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:46 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann Yeah. It's a catch-22 though, because the more you think about it the worse it gets. But you can't not think about it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136321) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Insecure diverse forum queen of the night yep, exactly. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136336) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:47 AM Author: Insecure diverse forum queen of the night but i thought that was just b/c a person is drunk. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136334) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:49 AM Author: greedy jewess Drunk only in that way that you're still kind of drunk and dazed after you spent the night before drinking your tits off. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136356) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann No. Which means I'm smelling air that rushed directly past my feces. Which is kind of cool. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136258) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:39 AM Author: Exciting Arrogant Potus Casino yes. it is way cool. Whenever I would fart bad as a kid my mother would always tel me to go poop. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: greedy jewess The two aren't necessarily related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136270) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:42 AM Author: Exciting Arrogant Potus Casino my mom and I are related. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136281) |
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Date: December 2nd, 2005 12:06 PM Author: Vivacious High-end Range underappreciated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4439263) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:40 AM Author: greedy jewess Farts feel really good when you've got a log in. You can kind of feel the fart maneuver around the loaf before it comes out good and dry. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136267) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Yellow hominid boltzmann You have a way with words. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136274) |
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Date: April 9th, 2004 10:41 AM Author: Insecure diverse forum queen of the night yes, definitely. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#136279) |
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Date: September 7th, 2005 1:16 AM Author: amethyst well-lubricated university puppy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3763558) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 1:05 AM Author: translucent locus i think about this post on a regular basis.
pretty much every time i fart. |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:45 AM Author: Shimmering titillating area foreskin pfft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310224) |
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Date: December 29th, 2006 12:48 AM Author: Blue very tactful french chef bumped too soon (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7310252) |
Date: April 9th, 2004 10:58 PM Author: greedy jewess Ha. Just re-read this thread. Makes me want to noodle my yammies. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#143035) |
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Date: May 9th, 2004 12:18 AM Author: greedy jewess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#417645) |
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Date: April 25th, 2004 6:04 AM Author: Crystalline Electric Furnace bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#287023) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 1:34 AM Author: greedy jewess I loved this thread.
Hi Euphronius! |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:14 AM Author: naked boiling water this is truly hilarious (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645803) |
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Date: June 7th, 2004 2:08 AM Author: self-absorbed tattoo orchestra pit for like the last month, my oldest dog, who's 11, has been ripping arse constantly. the house smells like a mortuary. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#645765) |
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Date: November 11th, 2004 11:53 AM Author: opaque national security agency turdskin i just laughed in class
way to go, blue
filtering "fart" was an okay time |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 10:06 PM Author: maniacal piazza This thread is truly, truly, truly outrageous. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195399) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:07 PM Author: greedy jewess tubgirl is outrageous.
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:11 PM Author: maniacal piazza http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/play.cfm/sound_iid.29754
Play the file. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:13 PM Author: Rose Useless Brakes Hunting Ground i'm afraid to. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195937) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:15 PM Author: maniacal piazza It'll bring back memories. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2195955) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2005 11:37 PM Author: Rose Useless Brakes Hunting Ground Great bump. This thread is one of the all time classics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2196187) |
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Date: May 26th, 2005 1:44 PM Author: Emerald hell dysfunction Bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2862767) |
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Date: July 30th, 2007 12:40 PM Author: geriatric locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8450886) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:41 PM Author: Laughsome Rebellious Institution Toaster In the spirit of the day, biz-ump. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922072) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2005 2:46 PM Author: contagious self-centered gas station mother That's strange because my farts have an odor that couldn't be more distinct from the smell of my asshole. Yes, I've touched it and smelled my finger before. So sue me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#2922104) |
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Date: June 19th, 2005 11:04 AM Author: Floppy personal credit line bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3055727) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 9:52 PM Author: electric snowy international law enforcement agency bumping funny blue threads hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146148) |
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Date: June 29th, 2005 10:25 PM Author: greedy jewess Nice. I miss him a hole lot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#3146436) |
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Date: October 20th, 2005 12:10 PM Author: Indecent principal's office bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4091948) |
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Date: December 8th, 2005 6:51 PM Author: Gaped public bath babump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4500486) |
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Date: December 21st, 2005 5:44 PM Author: infuriating location patrolman I just spread the love myself (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4632464) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:37 PM Author: Blue very tactful french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750286) |
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Date: January 6th, 2006 2:41 PM Author: Beady-eyed zippy theater stage Coffee is a diharettic. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#4750325) |
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Date: February 8th, 2006 11:22 PM Author: amethyst well-lubricated university puppy http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=320941&forum_id=2#4582136 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5034469) |
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Date: May 11th, 2006 10:31 PM Author: Black Thriller Station Kitty Cat just farted something awful, was reminded of this thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5768272) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:27 AM Author: Cerise rough-skinned associate set Bump. HRP is outstanding in this thread. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892878) |
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Date: June 2nd, 2006 10:30 AM Author: Embarrassed to the bone stead marketing idea I can't believe he's been posting here for 2 years. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#5892884) |
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Date: June 18th, 2006 8:20 PM Author: amethyst well-lubricated university puppy Just farted. Room smells like an asshole. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6014942) |
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Date: September 16th, 2006 3:55 AM Author: Onyx hall bump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6622983) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 5:56 AM Author: translucent locus rebump (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422958) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:08 AM Author: geriatric locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748359) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:10 AM Author: amethyst well-lubricated university puppy titcb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748366) |
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Date: October 8th, 2006 1:11 AM Author: comical hairy legs Sweet. I remember this gem. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6748378) |
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Date: November 9th, 2006 11:47 AM Author: Hyperventilating Lodge This is my present situation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#6956256) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:05 PM Author: Blue very tactful french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7289244) |
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Date: December 24th, 2006 9:24 PM Author: comical hairy legs Nice. This one never gets old.
Whatever happened to blue? |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 1:59 AM Author: ruddy clown (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422289) |
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Date: January 15th, 2007 2:04 AM Author: Spectacular stubborn brunch HRP's posts in this thread are retarded and obvious. good job! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7422331) |
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Date: March 7th, 2007 12:48 AM Author: 180 chrome yarmulke nursing home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7720565) |
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Date: April 10th, 2007 2:41 AM Author: Blue very tactful french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#7905145) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:20 PM Author: Federal Sienna Heaven You know, those were different times. Oh, all the poets they studied rules of verse, and those ladies, they rolled their eyes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#8350411) |
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Date: July 7th, 2007 10:26 PM Author: Orange Parlor i'll tell ya someting
jack is a banker and jaaaaaaaaaaaaane she is clerk and both of them save their monies and when they come home from work. oooooooooooooooooooooh sitting down by the fire ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the radio does play. |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 8:53 AM Author: silver crawly elastic band office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312556) |
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Date: February 12th, 2008 9:36 AM Author: offensive duck-like travel guidebook 1st grade humor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9312581) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:21 PM Author: Flirting bawdyhouse titcr. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9666048) |
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Date: April 22nd, 2008 3:12 PM Author: drab charismatic state filthpig I just farted for about the hundredth time today. Literally. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=8496&forum_id=2#9665997) |