but yes, i understand his mentality, still i'd probably kill myself if this happened to me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3889141&forum_id=7#35372557)

Life changing is 1000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3889141&forum_id=7#35372850)

Even if he just cashed out 1MM-2MM, he could play with the rest

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3889141&forum_id=7#35373020)

I don't seem to be coming back. I basically have the same story as OP except that I went from investing everything I had (as a college student) to buy 60 BTC in 2013 and holding strong for a solid 4 years. Then having a mental health crisis during 2016 and giving 20 BTC away to strangers online who took advantage of me, never to be seen again. Then in December, days before the top, I learned what margin trading actually was. Mad a tiny bit. Lost a good amount while falling asleep during a drop and then chasing the whole thing (40 BTC) down to 0.02 BTC.

I'm beyond devastated. I'm confident that I'm going to end my life over this and I've already begun separating myself from the world and getting my affairs in order. I feel weird revealing and admitting this on reddit, but this post hits home, as does the one of the main sub about the guy's brother who killed himself over the same situation.

I admire those who can weather setbacks of this kind but I'm not one of them. I knew from the minute I read the white paper that Bitcoin was a game changing idea. I poured my savings into it, confident that my stack would be worth a million (20K) within 5 years (I called this almost perfectly). It's not even like I want to live an extravagant lifestyle, I just wanted to feel financially safe for once in my life and wanted to share the wealth with those close to me and help build positive businesses and a better world. The pump and dumpers and Lamborghini memes are so obnoxious, as if the world needs any more mindless hedonistic consumerism. I grew up pretty poor and bounced from foster home to foster home and from school to school. I barely made it through college and have no marketable skills. I lost my dead end sales job a few months back and can't bring myself to go back to barely getting buy. I held strong throughout the years, even though I could've certainly used the money at times. I always brought my own lunch to work and always took the subway when I could instead of paying for Uber. I invested a few thousand dollars back in 2013 and never saw a penny of it. OP is much more honorable than me because I certainly don't have the self respect to turn down donations but I'm also pretty certain that people aren't donating to the small army of people who are in the same situation and I obviously don't deserve it anyway. When I run into friends, they always ask about how well I must be doing because they know I've been a Bitcoin proponent for a long time. Smiling and looking at them in the eye while talking positively about Bitcoin is incredibly taxing and I immediately want to throw up in the nearest trash can afterwards.

I know somewhere else in the universe, there's a 'me' who decided against margin trading or stopped after a few losses or didn't start playing bull at the beginning of a bear market. Not me though, I'm a fool and I squandered the only thing going for me in life. I hope others heed the warnings, but I know most won't. Either way, I don't have the type of mind to let something like this go and I can't stand to watch Bitcoin moon again and be left behind. It's sad that money can have such power over people. I know many have had their lives dramatically changed for the better but I suppose there are two sides to the coin.

I don't even know why I still obsess over Bitcoin and this sub. I literally can't think of anything else most of the time. I guess I keep hoping that it will drop to some very low amount and that I'll be able to buy back in but that doesn't make sense because I don't have $10 to my name to put back in. I'm going to lose my unemployment benefits and housing in a few months and really have nowhere to turn once that happens.

I know most people would pull themselves up by their bootstraps and carry on but I know that I could never escape my mind. Sorry to rant negatively on your kind and reasoned comment. I wish OP the best and he seems to have a much better attitude towards the ordeal than I do, even with the stakes being that much higher.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3889141&forum_id=7#35374117)