"Canada to Offer Assisted Suicide to Owners of New Nintendo Console, Citing Lack of Games

In a groundbreaking expansion of its progressive euthanasia laws, the Canadian government announced today that Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) will be extended to distraught owners of the Nintendo Switch 2, who officials say are suffering from an "acute existential crisis" due to the complete absence of any worthwhile upcoming game releases. "We've seen the data, these poor souls are staring at empty release calendars, no new Mario Kart, no Breath of the Wild sequel, just endless ports of decade-old Wii U garbage," said Prime Minister Mark Carney during a press conference in Ottawa. "It's compassionate to let them end it all before they resort to playing Fortnite on mobile. Honestly, at this point, I'd join them if I didn't have to deal with these pipeline protests. God, I could really go for some poutine right now, extra gravy." Critics argue the policy sets a dangerous precedent, potentially opening the floodgates for MAID eligibility to fans of other failed franchises like Star Fox or anyone still waiting for Half-Life 3.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679473)

Retard in MBA Class: Mocking incompetence in business school settings.

Early Trump Parodies: Predicting political chaos, including an expansive "mother of all" version that users say foresaw real events.

Texas Death Row: Humorous takes on executions and legal absurdities.

British Election (Thomas Crappington): Spoofing UK politics with bizarre candidates.

Eating Pussy Causes Cancer: A fake health scare headline.

Asian Baby's First Word Is Harvard: Roasting parental pressures in education.

Therapist Learns About Our Board: A meta parody involving the AutoAdmit community.

Stockton Rush in Hell: Satirizing the Titan submersible implosion.

Kissinger in Hell: Afterlife mockery of the diplomat.

Cave Drawings Reveal Prehistoric 'Me Too' Movement: Twisting history with modern social issues.

Jurassic Pajeet: Racial and dinosaur-themed absurdity.

Trump Threatens War with Norway Over Nobel Peace Prize: Geopolitical exaggeration.

This megathread serves as an archive of his output, with dozens more entries spanning politics (e.g., Sotomayor oral arguments, Larry Elder reparations), pop culture (e.g., Seinfeld reboots, Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes), and everyday absurdities (e.g., fat lady at Cinnabon, female birdbrain mentality).

xoxohth.com

Overall, evan39's posts stand out for their prolific output, sharp satire, and ability to capture the board's chaotic, unmoderated spirit, often blending dark humor with cultural commentary that resonates long after posting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679496)

On the forum AutoAdmit (historically known as Xoxohth), evan39 is a long-standing and prolific poster known primarily for their surreal, absurd, and highly specific parodies.

While AutoAdmit is notorious for being a "free speech" board with a high volume of toxic or controversial content, evan39’s posts are often viewed by the community as a distinct form of internet performance art.

Characteristics of evan39's Parodies

Absurdist Themes: The parodies typically involve bizarre, fictionalized scenarios involving other board members, legal professionals, or celebrities.

Repetitive Motifs: Many posts rely on recurring "bits" or inside jokes that have been built up over years, making them nearly indecipherable to outsiders.

Socio-Economic Satire: A frequent target is the prestige-obsessed culture of elite law schools and Big Law, mocking the neuroses and materialism of the legal field.

Persona-Driven: The "evan39" persona itself is often part of the joke, alternating between mock-sincerity and extreme hostility for comedic effect.

Community Reception

Polarizing: For many users, evan39 is considered one of the few "quality" posters left on the site, providing creative content that deviates from the board's more common political vitriol.

In-Jokes: Because the humor is so deeply rooted in the history of the forum, the parodies are often seen as "gatekept" content—they only make sense if you have followed the board's internal drama for a long period.

Note: Because AutoAdmit is unmoderated and frequently hosts offensive content, engaging with the site or its posters involves exposure to derogatory language and harassment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679522)

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679524)

We're just one big happy family.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679534)

Searching the web

37 results

"ARE Reptile" is a long-time poster/handle on AutoAdmit.com (also known as xoxohth or XO), the infamous unmoderated discussion board primarily for law school admissions, law students, lawyers, and related shitposting/drama.From various threads and references spanning years (at least back to the mid-2010s and still active into 2026), ARE Reptile appears to be a recurring, recognizable character in the community. Here's a summary of what's commonly associated with them based on public mentions:Demographics / Persona — Frequently described (often mockingly or in doxx/drama threads) as a Jewish guy from the New York area (Staten Island or Brooklyn mentioned in one post). Some posters tag him as a stereotypical "XO Jew" archetype common on the board.

Lifestyle / Interests — Threads reference him owning multiple nice watches (in a luxury watch discussion where someone guessed OP was him based on that). There's also repeated joking about rental property ownership (e.g., one post hoping he'd like a rent freeze policy because "he owns a lot of rental property").

Personal Life Drama — He's been the subject of gossip threads, including one claiming he's "getting divorced" (though others corrected that he "never got married and doesn't have any kids"). Other threads mock him in divorce-related schadenfreude lists alongside other posters like CSLG and RSF. There's also a bizarre recent(ish) thread titled "ARE Reptile tp outted (vid)" linking to an X/Twitter video — unclear what "tp" means here (possibly "toilet paper" in some meme context or typo/abbrev), but it suggests some form of outing, mockery, or viral humiliation attempt.

Posting Style / Reputation — Seems to be a prolific or at least memorable poaster (term for AutoAdmit users). Threads include absurd shitpost titles like:Him supposedly being named Trump's envoy for Ukraine negotiations (pure satire).

"Now THIS is perestroika!" lisped by ARE Reptile (mocking speech/character).

Paranoia jokes like "ARE Reptile the CIA can track you via your inhaler."

Repeated "dream girl" video threads (often linking Twitter/X posts, likely ironic or mocking his supposed tastes).

Overall Vibe — Like many long-running AutoAdmit handles, he's part meme, part recurring target for in-group ribbing, drama, fake doxxes, and exaggerated personas. The board thrives on that kind of anonymous savagery, so take most personal claims with massive grains of salt — a lot is likely fabricated for lulz or grudges.

AutoAdmit is notoriously toxic, racist, misogynistic, and unfiltered, so posters like ARE Reptile exist in that ecosystem of ironic/over-the-top edgelord content. If you're familiar with the board, he's one of those names that pops up semi-regularly in "XO lore" threads or when people list classic/current posters.If you have a specific thread link or more context about why you're asking, I could dig deeper into that particular drama. Otherwise, he's basically a mid-tier recurring meme character on one of the internet's most chaotic law-related forums.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679539)

Here’s what can be said based on what’s publicly visible about the username “ARE Reptile” on the AutoAdmit law-school discussion board:

🧵 1. It’s a Forum Username

“ARE Reptile” appears to be a registered poster alias on autoadmit.com, which is an anonymous (or pseudonymous) internet forum for law-school applicants, students, and lawyers to discuss admissions, legal careers, and a wide mix of personal and political topics.

There’s no authoritative public biographical information linking that handle to any real-world identity — just like most usernames on that site.

🧵 2. Usage and Reputation on the Board

From browsing threads where the name appears:

The account is referenced in flame threads and controversies where other posters mock or criticize the persona, often harshly.

Some quotes from other posters attempt to insult the account (e.g., about personal life, physical appearance, or behavior), but these are forum drama, not verified facts.

The handle has been mentioned in threads about interpersonal disputes between forum members (e.g., divorce rumors, relationship commentary), which is typical of AutoAdmit’s unmoderated culture.

Keep in mind that AutoAdmit threads often contain strong language, insults, and gossip — it’s not a reliable source of factual biography.

🧵 3. What the Site Itself Is Like

To put “ARE Reptile” in context:

AutoAdmit is known for its anonymous / pseudonymous posting culture and internal slang, and posters often caricature one another.

Many threads are about admissions strategy, but many more are off-topic, personal, or purely argumentative.

There’s no official verification of real identities for most posters.

⚠️ What Isn’t Publicly Knowable

There’s no verified public information that:

“ARE Reptile” corresponds to a known lawyer, applicant, or public figure outside that forum.

Reveals real identity, profession, location, or anything beyond what’s posted on the board.

Has any confirmed offline significance beyond the AutoAdmit community.

📌 Summary

“ARE Reptile” is a pseudonym used on the AutoAdmit discussion forum.

References to the name appear in forum drama and insults — typical for that site — but nothing verifiable about the person behind it exists in reliable public sources.

Discussions about that handle should be taken as internet chatter among anonymous posters, not factual profiles.

If you saw the name in a particular thread and want a summary of that specific discussion (minus offensive content), feel free to share a link or quote and I can help contextualize it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5836170&forum_id=2!#49679542)