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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid | 06/11/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/11/14 |
| Adventurous Field | 06/11/14 |
| lascivious stag film | 06/11/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/11/14 |
| lascivious stag film | 06/11/14 |
| Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid | 06/11/14 |
| Nofapping flushed idiot | 04/04/15 |
| Odious milky senate | 06/11/14 |
| Bearded water buffalo gaping | 06/12/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/12/14 |
| Onyx boyish idea he suggested | 06/12/14 |
| Soul-stirring mental disorder | 06/12/14 |
| chestnut unhinged brunch | 06/12/14 |
| Ungodly bistre pit | 06/12/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/12/14 |
| Odious milky senate | 06/13/14 |
| lascivious stag film | 06/13/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/13/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/13/14 |
| Bearded water buffalo gaping | 06/13/14 |
| aggressive garnet people who are hurt personal credit line | 06/13/14 |
| Odious milky senate | 06/13/14 |
| claret spectacular space | 06/13/14 |
| aphrodisiac goyim | 06/13/14 |
| chestnut unhinged brunch | 06/13/14 |
| Onyx boyish idea he suggested | 06/13/14 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 06/13/14 |
| Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid | 06/13/14 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 02/14/15 |
| Laughsome At-the-ready Stage | 04/04/15 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 08/05/15 |
| transparent soggy dopamine rigor | 08/05/15 |
| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 08/06/15 |
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| trip frozen macaca national security agency | 08/06/15 |
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| Indigo talented whorehouse | 10/08/15 |
| vermilion arrogant locale | 10/08/15 |
| exhilarant den preventive strike | 11/18/15 |
| Dull fat ankles | 11/18/15 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 12/17/15 |
| transparent soggy dopamine rigor | 12/17/15 |
| overrated racy azn | 03/14/16 |
| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 05/31/16 |
| Anal deep national community account | 05/31/16 |
| Bearded water buffalo gaping | 07/24/16 |
| dashing pisswyrm mood | 11/29/16 |
| Translucent organic girlfriend | 06/02/17 |
| comical sooty sneaky criminal | 06/03/17 |
| wonderful sadistic hospital indirect expression | 12/10/18 |
| White thriller weed whacker box office | 01/29/18 |
| vigorous casino | 05/13/18 |
| wonderful sadistic hospital indirect expression | 12/10/18 |
| orchid elite persian | 06/25/19 |
| lascivious stag film | 12/25/19 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 12/30/19 |
| concupiscible pervert | 02/02/20 |
| federal disgusting coldplay fan | 06/26/20 |
| primrose gaming laptop | 03/27/21 |
| amethyst striped hyena rigpig | 06/15/21 |
| lascivious stag film | 06/21/24 |
| Magenta spot tattoo | 06/13/14 |
| Blathering Honey-headed Station | 06/13/14 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/13/14 |
| Pearly Flirting Cumskin | 06/21/14 |
| Nofapping flushed idiot | 04/04/15 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 08/05/15 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 06/13/14 |
| diverse shaky house ceo | 06/21/14 |
| Chest-beating voyeur | 06/21/14 |
| Olive cocky cruise ship | 12/07/14 |
| Tan crackhouse | 02/14/15 |
| dashing pisswyrm mood | 02/14/15 |
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| Marvelous Theatre | 04/04/15 |
| Laughsome At-the-ready Stage | 04/04/15 |
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| trip frozen macaca national security agency | 08/06/15 |
| Vibrant Heaven Pocket Flask | 10/08/15 |
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| glittery naked orchestra pit headpube | 10/08/15 |
| dashing pisswyrm mood | 10/08/15 |
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| Odious milky senate | 10/08/15 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 12/17/15 |
| navy offensive mother | 10/18/15 |
| Fear-inspiring Piazza | 10/31/15 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 12/17/15 |
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| diverse shaky house ceo | 10/18/18 |
| Self-absorbed Aromatic Keepsake Machete Address | 12/10/18 |
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| stirring school cafeteria | 04/04/19 |
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| Snowy irate school messiness | 11/04/21 |
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| fragrant gas station | 10/31/23 |
| Snowy irate school messiness | 04/13/25 |
| fulano | 03/03/26 |
| confused philosopher-king | 06/12/14 |
| heady ticket booth | 06/13/14 |
| Olive cocky cruise ship | 06/13/14 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 06/13/14 |
| Bearded water buffalo gaping | 06/26/14 |
| lascivious stag film | 12/07/14 |
| lascivious stag film | 03/28/15 |
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| Olive cocky cruise ship | 04/04/15 |
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| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 08/06/15 |
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| Dull fat ankles | 07/24/16 |
| Indigo talented whorehouse | 04/09/21 |
| chestnut unhinged brunch | 08/06/15 |
| stirring school cafeteria | 07/13/19 |
| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 08/07/15 |
| Indigo talented whorehouse | 08/15/15 |
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| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 09/08/15 |
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| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 12/17/15 |
| Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed | 12/17/15 |
| Free-loading location faggot firefighter | 03/14/16 |
| Laughsome At-the-ready Stage | 03/14/16 |
| overrated racy azn | 03/14/16 |
| Bearded water buffalo gaping | 04/17/16 |
| balding glassy new version | 05/03/16 |
| chestnut unhinged brunch | 05/12/16 |
| Vibrant Heaven Pocket Flask | 05/16/16 |
| Dull fat ankles | 05/31/16 |
| Rambunctious Tantric Immigrant | 09/15/16 |
| galvanic hall party of the first part | 11/07/16 |
| Anal deep national community account | 11/29/16 |
| Dead tank | 02/16/17 |
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| lascivious stag film | 06/02/17 |
| Razzmatazz stead | 06/02/17 |
| bat shit crazy lavender institution | 08/30/17 |
| chestnut unhinged brunch | 09/06/17 |
| fragrant gas station | 04/30/18 |
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| fragrant gas station | 11/16/18 |
| stirring school cafeteria | 09/07/19 |
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| violent filthpig | 11/15/19 |
| Dead tank | 12/25/19 |
| duck-like hyperventilating cuckold | 12/25/19 |
| Onyx boyish idea he suggested | 12/25/19 |
| Low-t Office Generalized Bond | 12/25/19 |
| Dead tank | 01/30/20 |
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| stirring school cafeteria | 03/24/20 |
| federal disgusting coldplay fan | 04/01/20 |
| fragrant gas station | 08/10/20 |
| stirring school cafeteria | 10/19/20 |
| Snowy irate school messiness | 06/13/21 |
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| Onyx boyish idea he suggested | 06/15/21 |
| Snowy irate school messiness | 08/22/21 |
| hairraiser knife principal's office | 08/31/21 |
| Snowy irate school messiness | 05/23/22 |
| fragrant gas station | 02/09/23 |
| Light appetizing tanning salon ratface | 10/31/23 |
| fragrant gas station | 06/21/24 |
| stirring school cafeteria | 02/09/25 |
| diverse shaky house ceo | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: confused philosopher-king You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Adventurous Field (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: lascivious stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: confused philosopher-king Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: lascivious stag film LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Nofapping flushed idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Odious milky senate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Bearded water buffalo gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: confused philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Onyx boyish idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Soul-stirring mental disorder (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: chestnut unhinged brunch holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Ungodly bistre pit Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: confused philosopher-king JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Odious milky senate i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: lascivious stag film Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: confused philosopher-king TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: confused philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Bearded water buffalo gaping Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: aggressive garnet people who are hurt personal credit line this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Odious milky senate Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: claret spectacular space suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: aphrodisiac goyim I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: chestnut unhinged brunch whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: Onyx boyish idea he suggested (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: Supple Scarlet French Chef Hominid (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: Doobsian emerald dragon half-breed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Laughsome At-the-ready Stage 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: Razzmatazz stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: transparent soggy dopamine rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: bat shit crazy lavender institution (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: Brilliant Pozpig lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: outnumbered hell therapy How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: Citrine Pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: Indigo talented whorehouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: trip frozen macaca national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: Geriatric lettuce sandwich there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: floppy nursing home nibblets lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: Indigo talented whorehouse the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: vermilion arrogant locale curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: exhilarant den preventive strike (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Dull fat ankles (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: Razzmatazz stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: transparent soggy dopamine rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: overrated racy azn (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#30051818) |
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Date: July 24th, 2016 9:14 AM Author: Bearded water buffalo gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#31014517) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: comical sooty sneaky criminal ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: wonderful sadistic hospital indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#37381941) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: wonderful sadistic hospital indirect expression (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#37381939) |
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Date: December 25th, 2019 5:59 PM Author: lascivious stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#39324796) |
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Date: February 2nd, 2020 5:38 PM Author: concupiscible pervert (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#39529036) |
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Date: June 26th, 2020 5:32 PM Author: federal disgusting coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#40501651) |
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Date: March 27th, 2021 12:19 AM Author: primrose gaming laptop (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#42172476) |
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Date: June 21st, 2024 6:27 PM Author: lascivious stag film (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#47767334) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:12 PM Author: Magenta spot tattoo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25743993) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Blathering Honey-headed Station Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:22 PM Author: confused philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25745763) |
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Date: June 21st, 2014 3:09 PM Author: Pearly Flirting Cumskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#25790620) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:09 PM Author: Nofapping flushed idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2!#27619838) |
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