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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/03/18
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Hairraiser love of her life idiot
  12/03/18
ty!
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Laughsome lake garrison affirmative action
  12/03/18
...
racy twinkling gunner property
  12/24/21
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indecent brethren
  12/03/18
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hyperactive drunken crackhouse
  12/03/18
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Talented whorehouse
  12/03/18
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Slimy plaza
  12/03/18
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Laughsome lake garrison affirmative action
  12/03/18
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/07/18
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dashing stead headpube
  12/07/18
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Arousing carmine house
  12/07/18
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stirring aggressive casino goyim
  12/07/18
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Curious stage
  12/07/18
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/14/18
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coiffed genital piercing sex offender
  12/14/18
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/18
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indecent brethren
  12/24/18
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Ocher Site Ceo
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Azure french chef
  12/24/18
120
Bistre senate
  12/24/18
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/18
...
Bistre senate
  12/24/18
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Know-it-all Pervert Coffee Pot
  12/24/18
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/18
...
vengeful organic girlfriend pit
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Gold territorial rigpig immigrant
  12/24/18
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/16/21
...
ultramarine odious menage reading party
  12/24/18
...
vermilion chapel
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Pearly Swashbuckling Space
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  07/01/19
...
indecent brethren
  07/01/19
...
indecent brethren
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/10/19
getting close...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
...
up-to-no-good cerebral ticket booth
  12/24/19
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
...
Lime temple kitty cat
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
fear-inspiring shitlib
  12/24/19
...
Exciting Home
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Gold territorial rigpig immigrant
  12/24/19
lol
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
This
racy twinkling gunner property
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Concupiscible mint point
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
...
Irradiated hyperventilating state antidepressant drug
  12/24/19
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
racy twinkling gunner property
  12/24/19
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/19
...
Cheese-eating trump supporter persian
  12/24/19
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/15/20
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Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/23/20
...
Electric Principal's Office
  12/24/20
It's time.
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/24/20
...
Arousing carmine house
  12/24/20
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/16/21
...
Know-it-all Pervert Coffee Pot
  12/16/21
...
Electric Principal's Office
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/20/21
Lmao
Maniacal onyx milk volcanic crater
  12/20/21
...
Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker
  12/22/21
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Maniacal onyx milk volcanic crater
  12/22/21
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Bat shit crazy copper internal respiration legend
  12/24/21
...
racy twinkling gunner property
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Hairraiser love of her life idiot

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Laughsome lake garrison affirmative action

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: racy twinkling gunner property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: indecent brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: hyperactive drunken crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Talented whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Slimy plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Laughsome lake garrison affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: dashing stead headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Arousing carmine house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: stirring aggressive casino goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Curious stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: coiffed genital piercing sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: indecent brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Ocher Site Ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Azure french chef

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Bistre senate

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Bistre senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Know-it-all Pervert Coffee Pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: vengeful organic girlfriend pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Gold territorial rigpig immigrant

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: ultramarine odious menage reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: vermilion chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Pearly Swashbuckling Space

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: indecent brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: indecent brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: up-to-no-good cerebral ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Lime temple kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: fear-inspiring shitlib

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Exciting Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Gold territorial rigpig immigrant

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: racy twinkling gunner property

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Concupiscible mint point

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Irradiated hyperventilating state antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: racy twinkling gunner property

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Cheese-eating trump supporter persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Electric Principal's Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Arousing carmine house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Know-it-all Pervert Coffee Pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Electric Principal's Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Maniacal onyx milk volcanic crater

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Sapphire Dilemma Windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Maniacal onyx milk volcanic crater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Bat shit crazy copper internal respiration legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: racy twinkling gunner property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538935)