SOCRATES: "Then, Glaucon, will you call 'COCK' a large overhanging branch of an elm?"

GLAUCON: "No, Socrates, but I think now you play games: for surely you know that COCK must most of all possess that mysterious and generative power which works in woman like a vessel and creates in her another body."

SOCRATES: "So a COCK must have this power: does then a man whose erection has spent or flagged possess no COCK, when it has made a return to timidity and grace, as what the doctors call 'poenis'?"

GLAUCON: "Not that either, Socrates, for I should claim for any 'poenis' the title COCK were it merely to retain the potential to have such power; nor distinguish the Gods between a poenis that 'shows' it is COCK and a poenis that 'grows' to become COCK, for both are COCKS in their eyes."

SOCRATES: "It is truly pleasant to learn the gods enjoy COCKS in their eyes as much as I do; but pray thee, Glaucon, answer me one more: were a man discovered impotent, unable to generate in the slime of a woman's vessel the glory of new life, would he cease to have a COCK?"

GLAUCON: "Well, Socrates, I admit that you pose a difficult question: for such a poenis, while unable to reproduce, might still perform well the other virtues of COCK, like causing me to wriggle in spasmodic glee while sucking and fucking it."

SOCRATES: "And indeed, my dear Glaucon, I lose hope that an account of these virtues will part your lips when they could wrap instead around COCK - but tell me - is it then the case that every COCK can make you to wriggle in glee, just as every COCK is long and just as every COCK is thick?"

GLAUCON: "No, it cannot be so, Socrates; for the hugest COCK is the most COCKly of COCKs, after all, but I need think only back to my days as a boy to think of COCKs which in their size brought me pain rather than glee."

SOCRATES: "So, Glaucon, it seems to me to be thus: that we have eliminated seminal power and the glee of intercourse as necessary conditions on the COCK. But don't forget, we know still that the COCK cannot simply be the long and thick, for a branch is not a COCK except for Mr. Jinx and others similarly deranged. So shall you offer me a definition of COCK that, like itself a COCK, causes me to wriggle in glee, and builds in me a new life of knowledge of COCK and appreciation for the form of COCK in which all COCKs participate?"

GLAUCON: "Socrates, believe me when I say I know what a COCK is: but all this talk about COCK has made me eager for the baths. Accompany me, and you shall see plenty of COCK for yourself, and plenty that is not COCK with which you can compare it; and you will learn not only what is the essence of COCK, but what is its taste, its texture, its scent, and its manner."

SOCRATES: "Ah, Glaucon, were I a younger man I would join you indeed; but as I age I find it is not my mouth and ass that desire COCK but my mind; by Zeus, Glaucon, the only thing that satisfies my mind these days is the COCK of scholarship, which I tease to its lengthy and girthy largeness through this method of questions and answers which I call the dialectic."

GLAUCON: "Okay, that's really fucking interesting, but I'm going to go get my ass fucked now. See you later, faggot."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2385441&forum_id=2!#31650935)