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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/03/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
histrionic burgundy parlour
  12/03/18
ty!
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Emerald well-lubricated faggot firefighter mental disorder
  12/03/18
...
titillating legal warrant resort
  12/24/21
...
pea-brained soggy point
  12/03/18
...
bateful grizzly azn clown
  12/03/18
...
lavender geriatric crackhouse
  12/03/18
...
White tantric prole codepig
  12/03/18
...
Emerald well-lubricated faggot firefighter mental disorder
  12/03/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/07/18
...
Rose underhanded hell coffee pot
  12/07/18
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abnormal glittery telephone
  12/07/18
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ungodly rehab shitlib
  12/07/18
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spectacular yarmulke
  12/07/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/14/18
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maniacal jap temple
  12/14/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/18
...
pea-brained soggy point
  12/24/18
...
Hairraiser sapphire school rigpig
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Boyish Azure Associate
  12/24/18
120
violent state karate
  12/24/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/18
...
violent state karate
  12/24/18
...
Arrogant internet-worthy partner nowag
  12/24/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/18
...
dashing hospital
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
trip dull friendly grandma principal's office
  12/24/18
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/16/21
...
Poppy charismatic electric furnace stage
  12/24/18
...
Black cowardly stag film
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Racy flesh nursing home
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  07/01/19
...
pea-brained soggy point
  07/01/19
...
pea-brained soggy point
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/10/19
getting close...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
...
citrine diverse stage bbw
  12/24/19
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
...
beta base
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
180 Area
  12/24/19
...
fuchsia personal credit line
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
trip dull friendly grandma principal's office
  12/24/19
lol
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
This
titillating legal warrant resort
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
cerebral deer antler toaster
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
...
Arousing orchid set
  12/24/19
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
titillating legal warrant resort
  12/24/19
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/19
...
hyperactive giraffe macaca
  12/24/19
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/15/20
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/23/20
...
Vivacious legend filthpig
  12/24/20
It's time.
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/24/20
...
abnormal glittery telephone
  12/24/20
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/16/21
...
Arrogant internet-worthy partner nowag
  12/16/21
...
Vivacious legend filthpig
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/20/21
Lmao
stirring yellow center brethren
  12/20/21
...
lime bawdyhouse quadroon
  12/22/21
...
stirring yellow center brethren
  12/22/21
...
Startling Ape
  12/24/21
...
titillating legal warrant resort
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: histrionic burgundy parlour

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Emerald well-lubricated faggot firefighter mental disorder

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: titillating legal warrant resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: pea-brained soggy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: bateful grizzly azn clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: lavender geriatric crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: White tantric prole codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Emerald well-lubricated faggot firefighter mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Rose underhanded hell coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: abnormal glittery telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: ungodly rehab shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: spectacular yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: maniacal jap temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: pea-brained soggy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Hairraiser sapphire school rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Boyish Azure Associate

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: violent state karate

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: violent state karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Arrogant internet-worthy partner nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: dashing hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: trip dull friendly grandma principal's office

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Poppy charismatic electric furnace stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Black cowardly stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Racy flesh nursing home

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: pea-brained soggy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: pea-brained soggy point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: citrine diverse stage bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: beta base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: 180 Area

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: fuchsia personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: trip dull friendly grandma principal's office

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: titillating legal warrant resort

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: cerebral deer antler toaster

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Arousing orchid set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: titillating legal warrant resort

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: hyperactive giraffe macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Vivacious legend filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: abnormal glittery telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Arrogant internet-worthy partner nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Vivacious legend filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: stirring yellow center brethren

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: lime bawdyhouse quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: stirring yellow center brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Startling Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: titillating legal warrant resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2!#49538935)