My wife used to say I was "emotionally abusive." Then a couple weeks after she relapsed the first time, she was on a crack binge and called the SFPD to say I'd grabbed her and shaken her. I was asleep in a downstairs room so I hadn't known she called until five cops knocked on the door and put me on the ground and cuffed me to take me away to County. It was a 180 experience in retrospect.