1. We evolved to need connection

Humans are a profoundly social species. For most of our evolutionary history, survival depended on belonging to a group—safety, food, shared labor, protection, child-rearing, status, and identity all came from the tribe. Because of that:

• Loneliness hurts in the brain in ways similar to physical pain

• We get dopamine and oxytocin from positive social contact

• Our sense of self is partly built through relationships and feedback

In other words, we are biologically wired to yearn for community, touch, closeness, and belonging.

2. But we are also wired to be cautious, judgmental, and easily threatened

The same evolutionary history bred the opposite impulse, too. Living in groups was beneficial, but groups were also full of danger—competition for mates, status conflicts, betrayal, ostracism, and humiliation. Our brains still carry those defense mechanisms:

• We automatically scan others for threat, judgment, or rejection

• We remember negative social experiences more strongly than positive ones

• Ego, pride, insecurity, and comparison trigger resentment or contempt

• Modern life amplifies these feelings with anonymity, loneliness, and social media

So while we need people, people also stress us out, disappoint us, or make us feel inadequate, and our brain tries to protect us by creating distance, irritation, or cynicism.

3. Modern society makes this contradiction worse

In a tribe of 50–100 people, relationships were stable. Today:

• We meet far more people than we can emotionally process

• We interact more with personas than real selves (especially online)

• We compare our lives against curated illusions

• Communities are shallow, temporary, or transactional

This creates connection-hunger without trust-satisfaction.

4. The result: a love–hate relationship with humanity

Most people don’t truly hate others. What they hate is:

• being misunderstood

• being rejected

• being vulnerable

• being disappointed

• being hurt again

So they retreat. But the longing never goes away, because belonging is a need, not a luxury.

5. The simplest way to summarize it

Humans fear each other as individuals

but need each other as a species.

Or, more poetically:

We want to be close enough to belong,

but not close enough to be wounded.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5176730&forum_id=2),#49371350)