We were opposites. He was an ivy league lifer. Made partner his 6th year. Can’t hit a golf ball. Spends weekends ‘catching up’ on deals.

I hustled for honors at a regional school. Sixth years are called midlevel associates. I was a D1 athlete. My best lawyering is done M-F.

Year 1 meets Chambers 1. Coffee once a week & first dibs on term sheets. He was great for my career in the short term. But I saw how the sausage is made.

There’s a scene in Breaking Bad where Walter’s wife begs him to quit before death comes knocking. He is offended. “How little you think of me, I am not in any danger.” Then he snaps. “Skyler - I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS.”

Obviously a tipping point in their relationship - all she could do was sober up to a new reality.

I had a similar moment with my mentor. It was a normal day, we weren’t chasing a wire or fighting to close - just revising documents at our own pace. He rang me to run thru his thoughts. These were surgical changes and difficult for a junior associate.

I kept saying “got it” to inspire confidence (confident I would FIO). He said: “It doesn’t sound like you get it.” I said: “It’ll make more sense when I dive in” (I had 7 other tabs open). He warned: “Last time - do you GET it?” I said: “Not 100%..” He didn’t let me finish. “THEN DON’T SAY YOU F’ING GET IT.” His dark side won.

Like Walt, this is who my mentor became. His power turned to ego & his ego is his power. The person he started as (when he was me) couldn’t stomach what it takes to be the kingpin he is now. He has my respect + admiration … but there’s a certain pity too.

My mentor is ‘The One Who Docs’ - it comes at a steep price to self.

This I get.

https://x.com/SteelToeScribe/status/1983712353930608916

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5794539&forum_id=2),#49409473)