Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: French boltzmann
Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2),#25733549) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: beady-eyed thirsty den idiot
Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2),#25744019) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Hyperactive Kitchen Pervert
Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2),#25744273)
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Date: October 8th, 2015 8:33 AM Author: Submissive rehab mediation
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Re4VERqiZe
How it went down:
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2),#28924648)
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:22 AM Author: Irate exhilarant gay wizard house
this is one of those threads that I wish I could explain IRL.
I really like it here
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2),#28489886) |
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