submitted 4 months ago * by purplealakazam

Last week I realized that in the haze of everything, I somehow overlooked a letter to settle and lost my shot. personal loan went to collections in February. For some reason I kept telling myself that settling would mean I could afford to pay off my cards eventually and it was still fine and to just do what I needed to for her.

But I am finally coming back down to earth and realize I can’t and never could and then I have several large purchases on my cards.

I thought I wasn’t spending “that much” but in reality I have accumulated close to $20k since September

I’m now realizing that this could look like fraud and people do this on purpose. Am I ineligible for bankruptcy now? I have no assets, not even a car. I need one.. A camera, laptop, steam deck and a small card collection and some sterling silver jewelry is all I really have of value. I make 20k less than the cut off for chapter 7/the means test in my state so on those grounds I can do chapter 7…. but will I be seen as fraud? Will attorneys turn me away? I feel so embarrassed to admit this here and publicly but I feel like context is needed…. but I have autism spectrum disorder. In all honestly I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing ever in general, but this is the worst it’s ever been and I won’t have a Mom soon. I don’t know what to do so I’m asking for help here. And I know I think rigidly, especially about rules, so maybe things aren’t as black and white as I’m understanding. I have no idea. But I’m too afraid to contact an attorney for fear of being treated like fraud.

I don’t have savings and I need a tooth fixed and before I realized what I was doing/that there’s no way to pay this off, my plan was to charge it since it’s necessary for health but now I realize if I do that it will be fraud since I realize I can’t pay for it all and now I’m scared of what is gonna happen to me in a million different ways. Forgive me for rambling.

I have no missed payments on any cards, just the $35k loan that went to collections. I payed less than the minimum on all the missed payment months until it went to collections hoping they would settle and then missed the offer. But I had never missed a payment before that, like I had even paid off cards I charged up twice and owned it. When I stopped paying, my score was 750. I just couldn’t afford an $800 loan payment anymore and since it was sofi and they often settle (and did!) i thought that would be worth it. But then life happened and I’m a useless crazy butch so now I have more than that in CC payments. But I’ve never missed a payment yet.

mattress and bed frame, household items, etc that i got for my mom last month totaled around $4k but i don’t regret that. i regret all the other stuff. but i’m glad i could help her. however, the largest charge of those was $1200, and one for $800.

the vast majority of all charges are literally just from door dash due to depression and fatigue and being so busy. some secondhand clothing (depop, etc), some makeup items, one hair appt for $300, some stuff for my cat, back in october i got some pots and pans from amazon and other stuff trying to stop with the door dash and that totaled around $500.

I’m 29 and have needed a fresh start for a long time but I never even thought about bankruptcy, because I really didn’t know it was even an option. But I started reading about it and I felt hope for the first time in almost a decade because I could maybe really finally start over and wake up and it all be gone and never do this to myself again.

But then I found posts about fraud etc and I just want to die because I feel like my erratic behavior due to stress and mental health will be seen as intentional or calculated when really I just haven’t been able to think. I just exist and haven’t cared enough to even keep track. And now I feel like I am never going to be okay again AND i won’t ever even have a mom anymore in case that wasn’t scary enough

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5881638&forum_id=2),#49992022)