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The Short Man Bites the Dust (poem)
| Rodeo Lewis | 05/03/25 |
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Date: May 3rd, 2025 9:11 AM Author: Rodeo Lewis
**The Short Man Bites the Dust** *(To the tune of "Another One Bites the Dust")*
*Verse 1* Oh, let’s go! He’s struttin’ down the street, five-foot-two, Dreamin’ of a date, but who’s he gonna woo? He’s got his platform shoes, stacked up high, But every girl just waves as she passes by. Look out!
*Chorus* The short man bites the dust! The short man bites the dust! And another one’s down, another one’s down, The short man bites the dust! Hey, she’s gonna overlook you, The short man bites the dust!
*Verse 2* He’s swipin’ on the apps, bio’s lookin’ tight, “Fun-sized, big heart, I’ll treat you right!” But matches never come, his inbox stays dry, Even Tinder’s algorithm’s like, “Nah, too shy!” Poor guy!
*Chorus* The short man bites the dust! The short man bites the dust! And another one’s down, another one’s down, The short man bites the dust! Hey, she’s swipin’ left on you, The short man bites the dust!
*Bridge* How do you think he feels when the barstool’s too tall? When the crowd at the club just ignores his call? He’s jumpin’ for respect, but it’s out of reach, Like the top-shelf whiskey or her heart at the beach! Oh, take it!
*Verse 3* The boys at the bar, they’re clownin’ him hard, “Need a booster seat, bro, or a step-up card?” He’s got the charm, the wit, the whole damn deal, But height’s the only stat that these ladies feel! Oh, nooo!
*Chorus* The short man bites the dust! The short man bites the dust! And another one’s down, another one’s down, The short man bites the dust! Hey, she’s lookin’ over your head, The short man bites the dust!
*Outro* There’s plenty of short kings, still fightin’ the fight, But the world keeps spinnin’ for the six-foot knight. So tip your tiny hat, and take it in stride, The short man bites the dust, but he’s still got pride! Oh, yeah! The short man bites the dust! The short man bites the dust! *(Fades out with exaggerated bassline)*
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