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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
Adventurous nursing home
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
exhilarant crusty school cafeteria
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
electric potus temple
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Wild set
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
mewling senate pozpig
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
ebony curious native reading party
  04/30/21
...
seedy water buffalo psychic
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
ebony curious native reading party
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
Adventurous nursing home
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
exhilarant crusty school cafeteria
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
ebony curious native reading party
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
exhilarant crusty school cafeteria
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
useless death wish
  04/30/21
...
Passionate dilemma
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
fuchsia ceo
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
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...
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
...
Blathering salmon center
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...
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  04/30/21
...
Pontificating Misanthropic Son Of Senegal
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Infuriating tattoo mental disorder
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
cordovan pea-brained dog poop
  04/30/21
...
swashbuckling elastic band
  04/30/21
...
beady-eyed white giraffe
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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...
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  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
lake double fault abode
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
seedy water buffalo psychic
  04/30/21
...
high-end nofapping background story field
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
seedy water buffalo psychic
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...
180 chapel
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
fighting cruise ship
  04/30/21
...
splenetic nowag piazza
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
Adventurous nursing home
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
supple whorehouse pocket flask
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
supple whorehouse pocket flask
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
supple whorehouse pocket flask
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
exhilarant crusty school cafeteria
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
magical razzmatazz meetinghouse
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
Impressive Den Alpha
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
seedy water buffalo psychic
  04/30/21
...
splenetic nowag piazza
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
wonderful pearl business firm
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Glittery Range
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
fighting cruise ship
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Glittery Range
  04/30/21
...
ebony curious native reading party
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
beady-eyed white giraffe
  04/30/21
...
swashbuckling elastic band
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
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...
flatulent hairraiser persian
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
multi-colored useless brakes
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
hideous becky
  04/30/21
Wow
multi-colored useless brakes
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
hideous becky
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...
Stirring pale principal's office
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
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Passionate dilemma
  04/30/21
titcr.
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180
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Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film
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attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
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how
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wow
Insane Depressive Garrison
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High | level | legal work
Racy Tanning Salon
  04/30/21
...
180 chapel
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
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A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Insecure buff party of the first part laser beams
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
boyish impertinent site
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
Naked rebellious stain
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
copper parlor old irish cottage
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Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Saffron Big Mediation Windowlicker
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
high-end nofapping background story field
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...
Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film
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...
avocado roommate cuckold
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hideous becky
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Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
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  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
avocado roommate cuckold
  04/30/21
What’s that
Carmine quadroon people who are hurt
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
avocado roommate cuckold
  04/30/21
...
Blathering salmon center
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
cream hilarious school filthpig
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
cream hilarious school filthpig
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Diverse Greedy Pervert Kitchen
  04/30/21
I am gay
Arousing Purple Indian Lodge Messiness
  04/30/21
great thread
high-end nofapping background story field
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
cobalt personal credit line
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
magical razzmatazz meetinghouse
  04/30/21
...
magical razzmatazz meetinghouse
  05/02/21
...
magical razzmatazz meetinghouse
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
avocado roommate cuckold
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
flatulent hairraiser persian
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
Adventurous nursing home
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Vivacious spot
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
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Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
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...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: Adventurous nursing home

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: exhilarant crusty school cafeteria

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: electric potus temple

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Wild set

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: mewling senate pozpig
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: ebony curious native reading party

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: seedy water buffalo psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: ebony curious native reading party

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: Adventurous nursing home

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: exhilarant crusty school cafeteria

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: ebony curious native reading party

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: exhilarant crusty school cafeteria

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: useless death wish

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Passionate dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: fuchsia ceo

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Blathering salmon center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376392)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: unhinged submissive location legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: Pontificating Misanthropic Son Of Senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Infuriating tattoo mental disorder

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: cordovan pea-brained dog poop

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: swashbuckling elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: beady-eyed white giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Galvanic charcoal state wagecucks

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: lake double fault abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: wonderful pearl business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Stirring pale principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: Yapping box office mad-dog skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Blathering salmon center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Odious chestnut locale affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: lake double fault abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: lake double fault abode

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: seedy water buffalo psychic

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: high-end nofapping background story field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: seedy water buffalo psychic

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: 180 chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: fighting cruise ship

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: splenetic nowag piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: Adventurous nursing home

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: supple whorehouse pocket flask

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: supple whorehouse pocket flask

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Thirsty bateful sanctuary marketing idea

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: supple whorehouse pocket flask

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: exhilarant crusty school cafeteria

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: magical razzmatazz meetinghouse

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: Impressive Den Alpha

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: seedy water buffalo psychic

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: splenetic nowag piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: wonderful pearl business firm

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Glittery Range

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: fighting cruise ship

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Glittery Range

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: ebony curious native reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: beady-eyed white giraffe

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: swashbuckling elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Ungodly Genital Piercing

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: flatulent hairraiser persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: multi-colored useless brakes

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: hideous becky

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: multi-colored useless brakes

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: hideous becky

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Stirring pale principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: exhilarant crusty school cafeteria

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: Brass Twinkling Uncleanness Public Bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Insane Depressive Garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Passionate dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: splenetic nowag piazza

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: Brass Twinkling Uncleanness Public Bath

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Blathering salmon center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: high-end nofapping background story field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Blathering salmon center

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: fighting cruise ship

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Odious chestnut locale affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: flushed cerebral ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: concupiscible dull factory reset button house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: high-end nofapping background story field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: flushed cerebral ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: flushed cerebral ladyboy

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: marvelous cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Insane Depressive Garrison

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: Brass Twinkling Uncleanness Public Bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: crystalline resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722548)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Racy Tanning Salon

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: 180 chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: aphrodisiac sooty gas station antidepressant drug

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Insecure buff party of the first part laser beams

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: boyish impertinent site

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: Naked rebellious stain

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: copper parlor old irish cottage

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Saffron Big Mediation Windowlicker

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: high-end nofapping background story field

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: hideous becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Blue Talented Codepig Stag Film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: snowy trust fund

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Carmine quadroon people who are hurt

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Blathering salmon center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42376800)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: cream hilarious school filthpig

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: cream hilarious school filthpig

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Diverse Greedy Pervert Kitchen

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Arousing Purple Indian Lodge Messiness

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: high-end nofapping background story field

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: cobalt personal credit line

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: magical razzmatazz meetinghouse

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: magical razzmatazz meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: magical razzmatazz meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: avocado roommate cuckold

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#42386977)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: flatulent hairraiser persian

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: Adventurous nursing home

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Vivacious spot

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2)#49827363)