Enclosed please find your invitation to the Safeway Northwoods Reassignment & Emotional Stability Retreat™.

Location: Minocqua, Wisconsin

Lodging: Rustic cabin, formerly used for meth storage, now rebranded “Associate Mindfulness Pod #3”

Amenities:

VHS copies of Chad’s last known shift

A fishing rod labeled “Feedback Channel”

Sauna access (supervised by Boom)

Attire: Unbranded apron, snow boots, resignation letter folded into origami

Tabitha will not be joining.

Neither will Wi-Fi.

You may bring one memory to keep. Choose wisely.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5714947&forum_id=2)#48873007)

We can settle in Copper Falls State Park.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5714947&forum_id=2)#48879018)

Author: evan39 (Regional Deli Lead, Mindfulness Pod #3)

Friend,

I am intrigued—but wary. The Safeway Northwoods Reassignment & Emotional Stability Retreat™ promises silence, VHS, and the smell of mold trying to pass as pine.

I asked Tabitha if she'd sign my release paperwork. She slid a Safeway Club Card across the table and whispered, “No expiration.” Her eyes never left the screen saver: a 2008 PowerPoint slide titled “Q1 Shrinkage Metrics (Region 5 - Red Zone)”.

I Googled Copper Falls State Park, Wisconsin. The first image was a tick burrowing into a Boy Scout. The second was a shuttered bait shop with the words “Let Go” spray-painted over “Live Minnows.”

I am tired. So very tired.

Perhaps Minocqua is the answer. Not salvation—just quieter ruin.

A place to mutter “Everything is fine…” into a snowdrift.

A place where the wind carries no HR memos.

I accept the invitation.

Please forward the beehive suit sizing chart.

[link dead; memory active]

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5714947&forum_id=2)#48901029)