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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
shimmering piazza
  04/24/15
...
rose boyish abode
  04/24/15
...
ocher massive casino hissy fit
  04/24/15
...
Territorial Concupiscible Potus
  04/24/15
did this today
khaki theatre
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
Curious Bisexual Site Partner
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Racy Spruce Trailer Park Sound Barrier
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Garnet cuck electric furnace
  10/22/15
...
misunderstood party of the first part school cafeteria
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
180 international law enforcement agency corner
  10/22/15
...
shimmering piazza
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
bearded queen of the night
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
shimmering piazza
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
bearded queen of the night
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
shimmering piazza
  05/16/16
...
Scarlet library giraffe
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
multi-colored obsidian striped hyena
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
walnut therapy old irish cottage
  12/28/16
...
Scarlet library giraffe
  11/11/20
...
olive brethren
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: shimmering piazza

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: rose boyish abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: ocher massive casino hissy fit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Territorial Concupiscible Potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: khaki theatre

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022119)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: Curious Bisexual Site Partner

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Racy Spruce Trailer Park Sound Barrier

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Garnet cuck electric furnace

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022609)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: misunderstood party of the first part school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335488)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: 180 international law enforcement agency corner

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: shimmering piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: bearded queen of the night

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: shimmering piazza

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: bearded queen of the night

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: shimmering piazza

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Scarlet library giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: multi-colored obsidian striped hyena

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: walnut therapy old irish cottage

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250229)



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Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Scarlet library giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: olive brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335487)