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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
pearl gaped deer antler chad
  04/24/15
...
Splenetic feces
  04/24/15
...
Greedy Vigorous University Half-breed
  04/24/15
...
bipolar ape field
  04/24/15
did this today
laughsome parlor newt
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
brilliant stirring sanctuary
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Blue community account stock car
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Balding pea-brained prole casino
  10/22/15
...
Electric Ebony Market Masturbator
  10/22/15
...
180 whorehouse
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Mauve glittery locale trump supporter
  10/22/15
...
pearl gaped deer antler chad
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Racy windowlicker
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
pearl gaped deer antler chad
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Racy windowlicker
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
pearl gaped deer antler chad
  05/16/16
...
Boyish center
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Trip Resort
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Bateful rusted pervert
  12/28/16
...
Boyish center
  11/11/20
...
Vivacious Orchestra Pit Water Buffalo
  07/26/24
...
Excitant base
  10/08/25
...
MAHA Movement
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: pearl gaped deer antler chad

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Splenetic feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Greedy Vigorous University Half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: bipolar ape field



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: laughsome parlor newt

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: brilliant stirring sanctuary

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Blue community account stock car

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Balding pea-brained prole casino

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Electric Ebony Market Masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: 180 whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Mauve glittery locale trump supporter

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: pearl gaped deer antler chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Racy windowlicker

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: pearl gaped deer antler chad

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Racy windowlicker

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: pearl gaped deer antler chad

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Trip Resort

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Bateful rusted pervert

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Boyish center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: Vivacious Orchestra Pit Water Buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Excitant base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: MAHA Movement



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49414142)