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very odd situation occurred at a wedding i was at last weekend

there was a very strange little guy in the corner. he looked...
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Date: July 11th, 2022 8:42 PM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor

there was a very strange little guy in the corner. he looked maybe 5’2”, but then when i saw him closer i noticed he was wearing these giant “moon boots” (i don’t know what else to call them) with like 6 inch soles, so no way he was even five feet in his socks. anyway, he spent most of the reception in the corner hunched over his phone, typing like a maniac and then howling with laughter. most people tried to just ignore him.

when all the speeches and everything started he drew up to the crowd and stood next to me. i was struck by how beautiful his face was; basically like a garden gnome version of jared leto. he looked up and asked if this was “an emotional wedding.” i didn’t really understand what he meant, so just nodded to be polite and he did his crazy laugh again. then the bride and groom started the first dance and he totally lost it. later on everybody was trying to figure out what he meant by screaming “justice” as loud as he could while crying, but i was the closest to him and i would swear he was screaming “duchess,” even though that makes even less sense. he wouldn’t respond to anyone asking him to calm down or leave so one of the groomsmen simply picked him up from under his arms and carried him outside. i went outside later to smoke a cigarette and he was still there. he was sitting on the curb for about two minutes with me watching him and then, i shit you not, he somehow swung his tiny legs over a deer that had wandered by and rode off.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44834802)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:38 PM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44835393)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:40 PM
Author: Jet Floppy Deer Antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44835407)



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Date: July 11th, 2022 10:41 PM
Author: dun effete pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44835413)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 12:15 AM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44835797)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:13 PM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44840314)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:17 PM
Author: fantasy-prone round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44840325)



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Date: July 12th, 2022 8:21 PM
Author: Ruddy nubile church hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44840330)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:39 PM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936377)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:43 PM
Author: Heady dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936392)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:43 PM
Author: swashbuckling chest-beating halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936393)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:44 PM
Author: gay big hissy fit alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936396)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 9:50 PM
Author: excitant olive stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936409)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 10:09 PM
Author: Hyperactive Lime Plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936490)



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Date: July 29th, 2022 10:20 PM
Author: gay big hissy fit alpha

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(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#44936539)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:37 PM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#45110563)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:39 PM
Author: Orange wonderful brunch sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#45110574)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:40 PM
Author: Exciting Property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#45110579)



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Date: September 2nd, 2022 2:41 PM
Author: Turquoise thriller coldplay fan gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#45110585)



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Date: May 19th, 2023 11:14 AM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#46330823)



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Date: May 19th, 2023 11:17 AM
Author: Histrionic Sable Locus Queen Of The Night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#46330840)



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Date: December 23rd, 2024 1:12 AM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#48477480)



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Date: June 2nd, 2025 10:24 AM
Author: appetizing carmine meetinghouse rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5151447&forum_id=2)#48980464)