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Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 8th, 2014 10:41 PM Author: Odious volcanic crater One weird trick, bros.
A while back I hit up an alumni happy hour for recent graduates of George Washington University. Technically, I wasn't invited: it was for college grads and I was a GW law grad. But I couldn't turn down the chance to mingle with young 20-something girls in legislative affairs jobs so I snuck in. Nobody checked my ID.
I chatted up this tall lanky girl, long arms and legs. She was wearing a dress that was floppy on her upper body, clearly meant to be held up by B cups that just weren't there. She had a giant head of dark brown hair. I couldn't tell if it was curly or just frizzy, but it was one of the two.
She engaged me in conversation, but was clearly scanning the room behind me, searching for a friend, an old professor, any excuse to ditch me. I knew I had only a minute or two.
I asked her what she had been doing since graduation. She said she had been working for a Democratic Congressman from New York, but had just gotten an offer to work in social media for a nonprofit and was still considering her options.
"What's the delta in salary?" I said
Her tight lips broke into a smile. She made eye contact with me and started playing with her hair. She then laughed and said she'd actually be making less, but with better benefits.
Within a half hour, the two of us ditched GW happy hour and were at a karaoke place. I bought her a drink, but when the bill came back they charged her for three drinks. She was really embarrassed and apologetic, told me she felt horrible about it. I told her I'd take care of it.
I called over the server, and said nineteen simple words: "there's a delta between the number of drinks we ordered, and the number of drinks we were charged for"
Within a few minutes, we had a new smaller bill, and it came with like a dozen free mints.
I proposed frozen yogurt, but she made it clear she wanted to go home with me as soon as possible. As we left the karaoke bar, I felt her literally pushing me out of the door and into a cab.
I woke up the next day and crawled out of bed to get to my doc review job on time. As I got up, she grabbed me by the arm and told me to stay. She wanted to cuddle some more.
"I can't let a delta open up between my start time and my arrival time," I said. "That would be bad for optics."
She swooned and fainted. I was free to go. |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 10:42 PM Author: Shimmering digit ratio hospital Alpha. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894264) |
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Date: July 11th, 2014 4:00 PM Author: Shimmering digit ratio hospital (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25911812) |
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Date: June 14th, 2018 11:45 PM Author: Supple alcoholic roommate school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#36249031) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:06 PM Author: Beady-eyed garnet trust fund coldplay fan Would read again. Any chance of this becoming an ongoing series? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894412) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:08 PM Author: Odious volcanic crater Here is what I did before I discovered delta
http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2188540&mc=113&forum_id=2 |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:11 PM Author: electric chad den i was wondering if this was you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894446) |
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Date: November 12th, 2014 5:12 PM Author: Smoky duck-like hell wow, had forgotten about this thread, enjoyed both heartily, ty (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#26703568) |
Date: July 8th, 2014 10:44 PM Author: electric chad den lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894280) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 10:47 PM Author: effete kitchen (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894301) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:05 PM Author: contagious electric furnace old irish cottage criminally underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894405) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:06 PM Author: lilac startling legend space amazing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894414) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:07 PM Author: Mind-boggling Cordovan Prole Background Story 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894416) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:10 PM Author: Arousing Twinkling Uncleanness Bbw Please tell me MBAs actually talk like this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894437) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:11 PM Author: Odious volcanic crater MBAs ask "what is the delta"
analysts with BAs then tell them what the delta is and what explains the delta |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:12 PM Author: Arousing Twinkling Uncleanness Bbw lol
Close to the truth |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:13 PM Author: Odious volcanic crater the law firm that I'm currently doing contract doc review for is going to get the delta back for their clients (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894460) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:14 PM Author: well-lubricated lemon piazza does talking about delts count? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894467) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:16 PM Author: Slimy hairy legs Rofl 180 bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894477) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:17 PM Author: aphrodisiac step-uncle's house this is really good 180 man (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894486) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:19 PM Author: Fragrant mood stage tyft (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894504) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:31 PM Author: vigorous field foreskin Excellent work. 180. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894594) |
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Date: July 8th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: mint alcoholic pistol this is an accurate assessment of what happens when you drop the d-bomb at a client site (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894657) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 12:05 AM Author: Odious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25894817) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 1:01 AM Author: big gay idiot 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25895290) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 1:04 AM Author: Mentally impaired overrated partner hey everyone, btw, this is how you poast. hth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25895318) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 7:43 AM Author: adventurous point striped hyena (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25896101) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 7:52 AM Author: Lake locale blood rage Delta between OP's and my quality of poasting: OP's . . . 180 . . . . . 120 . mine |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 10:04 PM Author: vengeful marvelous dysfunction Tha's how you poast...tha's how you POAST! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25900337) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 11:43 PM Author: Citrine Passionate Menage National Security Agency does this only work on tri-delts? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25901156) |
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Date: July 9th, 2014 11:44 PM Author: Saffron Area this is terrific work. I'm glad there is still quality poasting going on here. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25901170) |
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Date: July 10th, 2014 6:44 PM Author: Odious volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25905629) |
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Date: July 10th, 2014 6:52 PM Author: rough-skinned factory reset button laser beams Delta as FUCK (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25905650) |
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Date: July 21st, 2014 8:18 PM Author: aquamarine state How is this funny? Don't get the delta joke at all (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#25977368) |
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Date: July 28th, 2014 12:54 PM Author: spectacular grizzly lettuce friendly grandma have you ever taken any STEM class ever? even like hs physics? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#26015473) |
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Date: July 28th, 2014 1:24 PM Author: floppy fortuitous meteor even shitecon uses DAT DELTA. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2613641&forum_id=2)#26015637) |
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