I'm appalled by the trend of "spicy" snacks where everything is coated in some awful hot pepper garbage. We have spicy syrup, spicy honey, spicy chips, and even spicy gunk you can put on a keychain. When we got a case of the last item -- sriracha on a keychain for proles who demand spices with every meal -- I just stared at it and contemplated my strange existence. This is fine, I said to myself. This is fine.