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chessbros, come itt and give me advice on how to start not sucking

I've known how to play chess my whole life but have only eve...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
practice 2000 level lichess puzzlers and only puzzles https:...
VoteRepublican
  07/08/26
but I don't even know enough to know why something is a puzz...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
U will after u try
VoteRepublican
  07/08/26
Incredible poast
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
...
26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare
  07/08/26
180000000
Modus Penens
  07/08/26
Why would you want to get good at something as boring as che...
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
its an easy game to play online and waste some time with pre...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
You'll never get better with that attitude
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
this is why people hate hobbyists, they can't understand enj...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
Yeah some of us can't imagine not wanting to be the Tom Brad...
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
you should take up golf and get humbled
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
I wouldn't dream of golfing if I couldn't work on it full ti...
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
you would still suck ass if you did that
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
If I was passionate about it I'd be amazing.
The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me
  07/08/26
tbh it's not a game where you get better with cheap little t...
Kenneth Play
  07/08/26
if you have commute or other down time you can solve tactics...
26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare
  07/08/26
I just did one and it decided I needed to give up my queen i...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
gotta start with really really easy ones and slowly move up ...
26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare
  07/08/26
as I said in the OP I'm interested in learning some openings...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57lKok8sSoc
26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare
  07/08/26
ty
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
It’s amazing how much I’ve played chess and stil...
Available moniker
  07/08/26
I'm pretty sure I've never once made a good decision in gett...
hank_scorpio
  07/08/26
lol at the guy recommending the sicilian when u dont know ho...
Shema Yisrael
  07/08/26
this is genuinely good advice but again it doesn't really so...
Kenneth Play
  07/09/26
Yeah, this is basically what I would recommend, the easiest ...
Barack Carcetti
  07/09/26
hank can't even figure out how a autoloader pistol works, so...
.,.,.,.,.,...,.,,.,,.....,.,..,.,,...,.,.,,...,.
  07/09/26
Threaten to murder your opponent if/when they put you in che...
Fucking Fuckface
  07/09/26
is there any good advice available? I also would not like to...
Debunked antisemitic trope
  07/09/26
If you don't want to watch videos, fucking READ, motherfucke...
Fucking Fuckface
  07/09/26


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Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:09 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

I've known how to play chess my whole life but have only ever played random games with other people who basically just know the rules, I'm thinking it would be fun to get a little better, but not much, I'm not reading some fucking 200 page book on real theory or any of that shit, is there a good lazy way to get a little better without too much nerding out?

I assume the most important thing I need to learn are some openings and I know youtube has lots of videos but you can spend an hour watching a video to extract like two tips, any recs?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987302)



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Date: July 8th, 2026 9:11 PM
Author: VoteRepublican (A true Chad!! where's your gf/wifew?)

practice 2000 level lichess puzzlers and only puzzles https://lichess.org/training

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987305)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:13 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

but I don't even know enough to know why something is a puzzle at this point tbh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987310)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:22 PM
Author: VoteRepublican (A true Chad!! where's your gf/wifew?)

U will after u try

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987326)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

Incredible poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987328)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:36 PM
Author: 26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987368)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:06 PM
Author: Modus Penens (🧐)

180000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987440)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:23 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

Why would you want to get good at something as boring as chess if you don't naturally like it already?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987329)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:31 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

its an easy game to play online and waste some time with pretty good skill based matchmaking and I do enjoy it, I'm just not going to devote my fucking life to it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987343)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:32 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

You'll never get better with that attitude

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987348)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:33 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

this is why people hate hobbyists, they can't understand enjoying something in small doses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987359)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:04 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

Yeah some of us can't imagine not wanting to be the Tom Brady of something. Whatever you do be the best at it. No wants to see some old guy playing sports for example. It's unimpressive and low T to have a hobby you're not good at. I would never play chess but if I did I'd be ten times better than Magnus at it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987436)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:08 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

you should take up golf and get humbled

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987447)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:10 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

I wouldn't dream of golfing if I couldn't work on it full time with a world class trainer.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987452)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:21 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

you would still suck ass if you did that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987465)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 11:13 PM
Author: The Hebrews and Goys Are Raging Inside Me

If I was passionate about it I'd be amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987553)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:33 PM
Author: Kenneth Play (emotional girth)

tbh it's not a game where you get better with cheap little tricks. it's mostly reading 200 page books and playing for hours and hours and pure rigor. and ok yeah a rare guy is a genius and gets extra mileage out of it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987357)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:35 PM
Author: 26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare

if you have commute or other down time you can solve tactics puzzles on lichess or elsewhere

it's actually pretty fun in itself, even separate from being good practice to get better at the game of chess. like doing little brain teasers or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987367)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:36 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

I just did one and it decided I needed to give up my queen in a situation where I truly don't understand why it would want me to do that, no followup moves just on to the next, seems useless

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987372)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:39 PM
Author: 26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare

gotta start with really really easy ones and slowly move up from there

it's probably a good idea to start with learning some basic fundamentals about the game but you seem like you wouldn't have the patience for that and i don't really blame you. more fun to just do puzzles in your down time imo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987378)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:40 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

as I said in the OP I'm interested in learning some openings, I think once it gets mid game I'm smart enough to learn by experience how and when I've fucked myself, but I have no ability to plot out even a basic strategy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987382)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:44 PM
Author: 26k a year and giving you the zoomer stare

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57lKok8sSoc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987386)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 9:47 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987400)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:14 PM
Author: Available moniker

It’s amazing how much I’ve played chess and still suck so profoundly

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987457)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 10:22 PM
Author: hank_scorpio

I'm pretty sure I've never once made a good decision in getting a rook out on the board in my life

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987468)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2026 11:34 PM
Author: Shema Yisrael

lol at the guy recommending the sicilian when u dont know how the pieces move

as black ur playing caro kann vs e4. this guy has a million videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snbtVWOP7ws

just wing it against d5 for now. can watch a video on the slav if u keep getting lost.

as white u should play london. i think that same guy has another london speedrun series

caro kann u can use your whole life

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987573)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 9th, 2026 9:03 AM
Author: Kenneth Play (emotional girth)

this is genuinely good advice but again it doesn't really sound like OP is interested in the time and devotion needed, even with these tips - chess isn't a "one weird trick" game

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49987959)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 9th, 2026 9:40 AM
Author: Barack Carcetti

Yeah, this is basically what I would recommend, the easiest quick gain is to go on youtube and learn a few openings that you like, London on white, caro kann on black, is also exactly what I settled on,

fwiw my elo tends to fluxuate between 1200 and 1000 depending on how dialed in vs distracted I am, (I tend to play distracted quite a bit, playing while sports is on TV and what not, which is not a good recipe for actually playing well)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49988013)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 9th, 2026 9:43 AM
Author: .,.,.,.,.,...,.,,.,,.....,.,..,.,,...,.,.,,...,.


hank can't even figure out how a autoloader pistol works, so I doubt he'd ever get above 1000 rating

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49988015)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 9th, 2026 10:05 AM
Author: Fucking Fuckface

Threaten to murder your opponent if/when they put you in check. If they don't resign, brandish a firearm, rack it to show it's loaded, and hiss "check, motherucker!" at them

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49988035)



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Date: July 9th, 2026 10:08 AM
Author: Debunked antisemitic trope

is there any good advice available? I also would not like to be stupid and cannot find info between legit retard rules and asamov conversations.

also am too old to watch youtube videos of people talking for endless hours wihtout knowing at what moment a point might be made. that shit reminds me of barbri courses

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49988040)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 9th, 2026 10:12 AM
Author: Fucking Fuckface

If you don't want to watch videos, fucking READ, motherfucker

Good players memorize a fucking shitload of old games and various moves and gambits. If you're ok with just being a hobbyist, memorize a bunch of openings and mid games and end games

NOTE: I know the rules of, but do not play, chess, nor am I friends with anyone who plays chess

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5880916&forum_id=2).#49988044)