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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/03/18
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
nudist roast beef
  12/03/18
ty!
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Sick arousing center ladyboy
  12/03/18
...
green hideous queen of the night legend
  12/24/21
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Citrine self-absorbed address
  12/03/18
...
Hairless Fragrant Garrison Nowag
  12/03/18
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Fluffy house
  12/03/18
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haunting drunken marketing idea
  12/03/18
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Sick arousing center ladyboy
  12/03/18
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/07/18
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curious feces factory reset button
  12/07/18
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laughsome skinny woman
  12/07/18
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Ungodly box office stain
  12/07/18
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aqua bipolar giraffe
  12/07/18
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Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/14/18
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Startling demanding site
  12/14/18
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Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/18
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Citrine self-absorbed address
  12/24/18
...
aphrodisiac sweet tailpipe hall
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
bistre orchestra pit keepsake machete
  12/24/18
120
rebellious cuck lay
  12/24/18
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/18
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rebellious cuck lay
  12/24/18
...
Sooty fortuitous meteor piazza
  12/24/18
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/18
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fantasy-prone house-broken stead
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
effete violet range love of her life
  12/24/18
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/16/21
...
painfully honest primrose theatre
  12/24/18
...
fishy odious tanning salon
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Snowy shitlib puppy
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  07/01/19
...
Citrine self-absorbed address
  07/01/19
...
Citrine self-absorbed address
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/10/19
getting close...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
...
histrionic metal becky
  12/24/19
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
...
out-of-control plaza mental disorder
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
charismatic office round eye
  12/24/19
...
supple immigrant hospital
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
effete violet range love of her life
  12/24/19
lol
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
This
green hideous queen of the night legend
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Beady-eyed maniacal filthpig
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
...
Mahogany police squad
  12/24/19
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
green hideous queen of the night legend
  12/24/19
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/19
...
big lemon set
  12/24/19
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/15/20
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Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/23/20
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Bright Hunting Ground
  12/24/20
It's time.
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/24/20
...
laughsome skinny woman
  12/24/20
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/16/21
...
Sooty fortuitous meteor piazza
  12/16/21
...
Bright Hunting Ground
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/20/21
Lmao
opaque national security agency jewess
  12/20/21
...
Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio
  12/22/21
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opaque national security agency jewess
  12/22/21
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Mewling main people
  12/24/21
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green hideous queen of the night legend
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: nudist roast beef

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Sick arousing center ladyboy

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: green hideous queen of the night legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Citrine self-absorbed address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Hairless Fragrant Garrison Nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Fluffy house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: haunting drunken marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Sick arousing center ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: curious feces factory reset button



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: laughsome skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Ungodly box office stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: aqua bipolar giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Startling demanding site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Citrine self-absorbed address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: aphrodisiac sweet tailpipe hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: bistre orchestra pit keepsake machete

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: rebellious cuck lay

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: rebellious cuck lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Sooty fortuitous meteor piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: fantasy-prone house-broken stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: effete violet range love of her life

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: painfully honest primrose theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: fishy odious tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Snowy shitlib puppy

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Citrine self-absorbed address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Citrine self-absorbed address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: histrionic metal becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: out-of-control plaza mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: charismatic office round eye

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: supple immigrant hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: effete violet range love of her life

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: green hideous queen of the night legend

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Beady-eyed maniacal filthpig

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Mahogany police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: green hideous queen of the night legend

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: big lemon set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Bright Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: laughsome skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Sooty fortuitous meteor piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Bright Hunting Ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: opaque national security agency jewess

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Sienna coldplay fan digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: opaque national security agency jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Mewling main people



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: green hideous queen of the night legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538935)