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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| zippy copper coffee pot address | 08/03/13 |
| Adulterous soul-stirring chad institution | 08/02/13 |
| Walnut Confused Circlehead | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| Walnut Confused Circlehead | 08/02/13 |
| Exciting magenta stage | 08/02/13 |
| duck-like people who are hurt jewess | 08/02/13 |
| maniacal mood ceo | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| maniacal mood ceo | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| maniacal mood ceo | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| vigorous hall | 08/02/13 |
| Shivering faggot firefighter | 08/02/13 |
| useless dashing quadroon | 08/02/13 |
| vibrant azure parlour scourge upon the earth | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/03/13 |
| Purple Stimulating Bbw Kitchen | 08/02/13 |
| Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder | 08/02/13 |
| Excitant Slimy Theater Nibblets | 08/02/13 |
| Adulterous soul-stirring chad institution | 08/02/13 |
| 180 lime business firm really tough guy | 08/03/13 |
| cerebral brilliant lodge striped hyena | 08/04/13 |
| rebellious canary bawdyhouse roommate | 05/15/18 |
| passionate glassy hell mexican | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: zippy copper coffee pot address 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: Adulterous soul-stirring chad institution yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: Walnut Confused Circlehead I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: Walnut Confused Circlehead *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: Exciting magenta stage is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: duck-like people who are hurt jewess it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: maniacal mood ceo I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: maniacal mood ceo I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: maniacal mood ceo or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: vigorous hall lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: Shivering faggot firefighter this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: useless dashing quadroon I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: vibrant azure parlour scourge upon the earth this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: Purple Stimulating Bbw Kitchen Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: Comical garnet nursing home mental disorder I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Excitant Slimy Theater Nibblets The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Adulterous soul-stirring chad institution i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: 180 lime business firm really tough guy An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: cerebral brilliant lodge striped hyena Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: rebellious canary bawdyhouse roommate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: passionate glassy hell mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2).#49982780) |