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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Indigo plaza philosopher-king
  12/03/18
ty!
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
hilarious hominid
  12/03/18
...
Slimy excitant marketing idea spot
  12/24/21
...
mustard jap native
  12/03/18
...
emerald blathering tattoo
  12/03/18
...
razzle stag film
  12/03/18
...
Twisted kitty fortuitous meteor
  12/03/18
...
hilarious hominid
  12/03/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/07/18
...
Misunderstood duck-like son of senegal
  12/07/18
...
saffron odious masturbator indirect expression
  12/07/18
...
Stimulating foreskin
  12/07/18
...
Titillating at-the-ready theater alpha
  12/07/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/14/18
...
ebony arousing nibblets range
  12/14/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/18
...
mustard jap native
  12/24/18
...
Trip Roast Beef
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
doobsian codepig
  12/24/18
120
massive twinkling uncleanness
  12/24/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/18
...
massive twinkling uncleanness
  12/24/18
...
Electric Irate Stock Car
  12/24/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/18
...
pea-brained principal's office
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
sexy address cuck
  12/24/18
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/16/21
...
transparent business firm laser beams
  12/24/18
...
Insecure library
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
appetizing trump supporter
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  07/01/19
...
mustard jap native
  07/01/19
...
mustard jap native
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/10/19
getting close...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
...
Big-titted flickering gas station
  12/24/19
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
...
Aromatic Claret Property
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
dashing olive temple
  12/24/19
...
slippery indian lodge depressive
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
sexy address cuck
  12/24/19
lol
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
This
Slimy excitant marketing idea spot
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Sick sound barrier voyeur
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
...
floppy newt
  12/24/19
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Slimy excitant marketing idea spot
  12/24/19
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/19
...
histrionic apoplectic space preventive strike
  12/24/19
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/15/20
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/23/20
...
pearl stubborn hell
  12/24/20
It's time.
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/24/20
...
saffron odious masturbator indirect expression
  12/24/20
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/16/21
...
Electric Irate Stock Car
  12/16/21
...
pearl stubborn hell
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/20/21
Lmao
bateful crystalline cuckoldry
  12/20/21
...
Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe
  12/22/21
...
bateful crystalline cuckoldry
  12/22/21
...
house-broken stage
  12/24/21
...
Slimy excitant marketing idea spot
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Indigo plaza philosopher-king

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: hilarious hominid

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Slimy excitant marketing idea spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: mustard jap native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: emerald blathering tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: razzle stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Twisted kitty fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: hilarious hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Misunderstood duck-like son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: saffron odious masturbator indirect expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Stimulating foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Titillating at-the-ready theater alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: ebony arousing nibblets range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: mustard jap native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Trip Roast Beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: doobsian codepig

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: massive twinkling uncleanness

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: massive twinkling uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Electric Irate Stock Car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: pea-brained principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: sexy address cuck

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: transparent business firm laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Insecure library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: appetizing trump supporter

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: mustard jap native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: mustard jap native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Big-titted flickering gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Aromatic Claret Property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: dashing olive temple

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: slippery indian lodge depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: sexy address cuck

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Slimy excitant marketing idea spot

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Sick sound barrier voyeur

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: floppy newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Slimy excitant marketing idea spot

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: histrionic apoplectic space preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: pearl stubborn hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: saffron odious masturbator indirect expression



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Electric Irate Stock Car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: pearl stubborn hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: bateful crystalline cuckoldry

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Cheese-eating sickened sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: bateful crystalline cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: house-broken stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Slimy excitant marketing idea spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538935)