Her father is too important to look after her during the week. (My job is unimportant). He ended up having her 2.5 work days out of 10 for about a month and a half, though he brought her home two days early the last time.

I'm great now that I can work again. My daughter is actually doing pretty well overall. She has matured a lot during lockdown.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433943)

Are you working in a law firm?

Whats it like in London with BLM and rioting and shit?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433948)

BLM hasn't directly affected me. People are advised to avoid public transport and I don't have a car, so the only time I've left my neighborhood has been to take my daughter to her father. He lives more centrally, but not central enough for there to be visible signs of discontent.

That said, it's definitely something people are aware of.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433955)

I wouldn't give up my daughter,but objectively having her was a terrible idea in retrospect.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433963)

I'm pretty whiney, but I'm actually pretty impressed by how resourceful I've been through this whole nightmare. I think I've been a pretty great mom overall and I've done enough at work to impress people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40438096)

Happiness comes from within etc etc

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441198)

Yeah, I know you have always been unhappy. So are 99.9% of women. They think getting married and latching onto someone else will fix it and it never does.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441210)

I've probably been lonely in all of my major relationships. But my STBX was really emotionally cruel.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441219)

This is what is so sad about modern women. Inevitably this is always the end result. What do you think of perfectly nice guys like man o'war who will likely never be a father?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441223)

The problem is that our culture is totally fucked and even the vast majority of modern, "enlightened" men still secretly think childcare and admin around children is the lady's responsibility. Most are entitled, lazy fuckers.

I am sure there are exceptions, but prejudice and societal norms run deep.

My soon-to-be-ex-husband is probably an extreme example. I'm just as smart as him (probably), I may have better earning potential, and I have a serious job that's more prestigious than his.

But he took little interest in our daughter, expected me to worship him for being the breadwinner, and basically felt entitled to make all the family decisions because he made more money. Seriously, fuck that. I have a lower paid job in part so I can take care of the kid you wanted. You don't get to be the king of the fucking castle, you twat.

He also probably has a personality disorder, so like I said, extreme example. But I think that most men hold these fundamental beliefs and passive aggressively get their way by acting incompetent with the child-related duties. It's a bit pathetic really.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441234)

I don't intend to fall into the trap again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441244)

I guess I'd think about what you really want / deal breaker qualities, and what you're really capable of emotionally and practically (can you be a good, supportive companion? Do you just want a fwb or Fb?).

Once you have made this assessment, it's probably a numbers game, unfortunately involving online dating. You probably should run your profile by a few people to make sure it's not off-putting.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441340)

Genuinely nice

Does not like to or feel the need to travel

Is cool with the fact I don't want to be around with a lot or all the time or in the same bed

Is caring towards other and children

Takes care of her body--by this mean I mean by sports and running and not by fake tans and fake augmentation

Has a life of her own

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441348)

I actually find proles are more fixate on travel than non proles because they have nothing in their life.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441366)

Also, I think all Australians have a strong cultural drive to travel. You may need to compromise your standards and accept a lady who does like to travel but is also classy and fit. A confident and mature woman who doesn't want a really stifling relationship would probably be happy just traveling with her girlfriends most of the time, for like yoga retreats and stuff. I think you don't want a really serious relationship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441372)

No, I just accept that at the end of the day I luv solitude and just don't have a lot to say to anyone, male or female. I don't want to be one of those people always with someone else out of security just walking around or dining out spending the entire time scrolling through their phone or gossiping to create any dialogue.

I don't understand why women can't accept a guy who just likes his own time but is generally caring about women...? Why is it preferable to have a guy who is attached at the hip but does not actually give a shit about you?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441377)

Would love to meet a woman I can go running with at night and who enjoys jazz music and shit. I would fucking KILL for that. But all I see is imbeciles who think traveling to 3rd world shitholes is the greatest accomplishment.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441385)

The thing is that no one will be absolutely perfect for you in all ways, and you will have to compromise to meet their emotional needs as well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441414)

I just want a woman with a big heart :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441439)

I actually wouldn't necessarily mind being in charge of everything involving our daughter because he legit does seem to be incompetent at it, but this work should be appreciated and respected, and I should be treated as a 100% equal member of the household. What I don't know is how many men actually openly acknowledge that the lady is doing this work and take on other household jobs to compensate / give her equal respect in the relationship. I think it's hard to suss out until you're tied down with the chains of the children you have created.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441351)

I like LH because she is candid about her fuck ups and willing to admit so and discuss it. Why do you have to tear down like the only reasonable female poster?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441381)

I don't see why you are so quick to tear her down. She is probably the only female poster you can actually have a dialogue with where it doesn't devolve into "oh your just an incel" or "oh why are you all so obsessed with me" and similar shit along those lines when you question her decision making.

It's like the balding fat married male posters who fixate on marriage and its merits when they are all miserable. And they have the similar defense mechanisms as a Blue Smoke.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441395)

We cool?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441441)

We cool?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441451)

I actually would have preferred not to work and have a kid because I didn't want to get screwed in the usual pattern where women can't do enough at work to excel and can't do enough at home to be a good mother. 'Having it all' is a myth.

Even if my husband didn't require me to work, he's such a selfish tightwad that he probably would have given me a tiny allowance and expected me to be grateful.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441518)

I now believe that there were cultural differences arising from his upbringing that I naively didn't anticipate.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441537)

anyway, if you like her go get her bro. but if you want lonely hunter i'd go more for a jaded vibe and try to relate to her as someone else who is damaged goods, then take it slow and build up some trust.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433989)

Now rate me as a minor blues track.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40433993)

Unfortunately, I don't think he's been coping that well. He was in total denial about the situation and I think he thought he could lure me back. The last time he had our daughter, he called me on a video chat so she could cry about how much she misses me for 30 minutes. He also started crying and tried to convince me to come over.

I think he literally doesn't know how to care for her and he's desperate for me to do the parenting.

I texted his mom and said that I don't think he's coping and I don't think he reaches out to people when he is under stress or feeling vulnerable. So I have done what I can for him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40437547)

I'm sure you're fine, but we're near Stokey if you ever need anything. There's a few xoers out here...when pubs open again I'm down to grab a pint.

Keep on keepin on.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40434205)

I used to live in H&I and then FP! I know and love the area. It actually would be fun to get a pint when the world is safe again.

Same to you - hope you're surviving ok.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40437564)

And doing just fine - taking my dog to Clissold and Abney park everyday and working from home. Little nervous with my wife opening the restaurant back up but they have plenty of space between the public and their staff.

Are you still in the city or did you hie thee to Wood Green or Stratford or something?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441364)

But it's true - I'm very fortunate that my job is safe and my organisation is supportive of working parents. Of course, that's half the reason to work in a job where remuneration is so low (relatively)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441117)

My ultimate goal is to get enough cash in the divorce to buy a place mortgage free so I have all of my income available and it won't ruin my life when my ex inevitably jerks me around with child support.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441177)

It will be a BARNBURNER.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441221)

Or are you talking to whok?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441361)

I want to be your friend too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4474202&forum_id=2).#40441466)