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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
| rambunctious flirting abode boltzmann | 06/11/14 |
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: rambunctious flirting abode boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: elite avocado lay (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: Galvanic Marketing Idea Double Fault (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Galvanic Marketing Idea Double Fault LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: rambunctious flirting abode boltzmann laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733555) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: painfully honest cuckoldry keepsake machete (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: disgusting zippy round eye (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: razzle legend sneaky criminal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: yellow thirsty gas station associate holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Carnelian exhilarant travel guidebook Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: dashing old irish cottage i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: Galvanic Marketing Idea Double Fault Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: Appetizing purple temple really tough guy (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: painfully honest cuckoldry keepsake machete Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: Hairraiser silver nursing home suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: umber beta set I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: exciting rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: rambunctious flirting abode boltzmann (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: exciting rigor (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#27315083) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: Pea-brained stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Pungent personal credit line windowlicker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: Supple naked pit gaping lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: excitant forum How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: Bistre state (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: mustard crawly property (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: up-to-no-good goal in life (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: mind-boggling preventive strike kitty cat there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#28497490) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Cracking fluffy university multi-billionaire (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#29207642) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Electric Box Office Stain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#30051818) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Onyx Sickened Toaster ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: maroon hateful church (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2,#37381941) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Lake Rough-skinned Home Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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