"Nothing in the rules says a Golden Retriever can't do Biglaw!"
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:39 PM Author: Chest-beating rose stag film
"We forgot to file this motion! We'll never make it to the courthouse by 5, not with this traffic! Unless....."
*partners cast a thoughtful eye toward Buddy*
*James Brown's I Feel Good plays as Buddy bursts out the front door of the building with his necktie collar flapping over his shoulder and the motion in his TumiDog briefcase backpack as he races down the sidewalk*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470787) |
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Date: March 11th, 2015 5:23 PM Author: floppy primrose mad cow disease
*buddy rushes through the front door behind someone else right before the security guard flips the sign from "open" to "closed"*
*security guard gives chase as buddy runs up to the judge's office*
Judge: "this is an outrage! in all my years on the bench, i've never seen a dog in the court house! if i had my way i'd--"
Cute Legal Assistant who's also the GF of the biglaw associate that brought in buddy: "Sir, that dog is a licensed attorney. He has just as much of a right to be here as you or me."
*guard and judge exchange quizical glances*
*cute legal assistant removes motion from TumiDogPack, hands to judge*
*she gives buddy a kiss and tells him to be a good boy--slips letter to her associate boyfriend in the DogPAck*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471589) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: costumed community account
I'm imagining the set up as sort of a Mighty Ducks thing, where an asshole out of touch big lawyer winds up doing some community outreach event at an animal shelter. He winds up adopting the dog under pressure from either a dogloving ptr he wants to impress or a dog loving romantic interest. He's not a big fan of the dog but it loves him. So much so that, come Monday, it gets really distraught when the owner leaves and makes his way to the office...
Also tagline suggestions are welcome; my default will be " he's taking this case PRO Bone-o!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470814) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:51 PM Author: Pea-brained Casino Elastic Band
closing scene: buddy turns out to be girl dog, gives birth under desk of gruff managing partner who had been threatening to make the office a dog-free zone throughout the movie
MP is won over by puppies, "well, i guess our new litter of first years means we can cancel the summer program!" as all laugh and scene wipes to credits
edit: on second thought this would work better as a scene playing out as the credits roll
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470860) |
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Date: March 11th, 2015 4:49 PM Author: Pea-brained Casino Elastic Band
i was with it until i thought about what would happen when profits came in below projection in 3Q 2016
*MP on the phone on way to firm-sponsored caribbean retreat*
"i don't care if the no-kill shelter is closer and has space, you're to do as youre told"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471344) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:01 PM Author: Flatulent Bull Headed Temple
So the reason I wanted to get everyone on the call is bec-
*bloop bloop bloop*
Is... Is someone SLEEP YIPPING on my conference call????
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470955) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:02 PM Author: concupiscible fighting hall lettuce
All Partners, Of-Counsel and Associates,
There will be a liverwurst cake for Buddy in the breakroom at 3 p.m. It is his 5th anniversary with the firm. Please come and make sure to sign his card which is going around in inter-office mail.
Also, while I have your attention, people have been leaving paper plates and cups in the breakroom rather than throwing them away. Several legal administrators have complained. In the future, please throw your trash away or have your Associate do it.
Thanks,
Office Manager
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470960) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:03 PM Author: Ultramarine cuckoldry
"What do you mean they won't settle!?!?! What kind of pitbull tactics are these?"
"Ummm... sir?"
"WHAT!?"
*silence*
"Golden retriever, actually."
*opening lick from Back in Black*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470973) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:07 PM Author: concupiscible fighting hall lettuce
All,
Jesus Fucking Christ. Who pissed on the copier this time?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471013) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:52 PM Author: swashbuckling stage
Announcer Voice: "all his life, Mike dreamed of being a lawyer"
*shot of clock, 6pm Friday. boomer partner busts down door and throws project on Mike's desk*
"But dreams aren't always what they're supposed to be..."
*cut to CGWBT alone at restaurant, forlorn, staring at phone. waiter passes by* "Dinner alone again, miss?"
*cut to phone buzzing in vibrate on Mike's desk. Texts pop up: "where r u????" "this is the last time u stand me up!!"*
*camera pans to Mike hunched over documents, red pen in hand, bleary eyed*
And now Mike's life has gone...to the dogs. *shot of Mike passed out on desk as sun rises in the window*
*music shifts to mischievous buddy comedy beat. alert pops up on outlook: New Associate arrives today. Mike awakened by knock on door*
"Yeah, come in!"
*door opens, no one is there. mike looks confused. camera moves forward past the desk to reveal Buddy, tail wagging, wearing a tie and carrying a briefcase in his mouth*
Announcer: This summer, Mike will discover that you're never to old to learn some new tricks.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471367) |
Date: March 12th, 2015 8:09 AM Author: Walnut titillating pervert
skadden partner at drafting session with CFO of gazprom
"yes ratmir if helpful let's do a page turn of the MD&A. buddy can u pass me the prosp..."
"hang on a sec...where is..."
*joe dirt style camera cuts to parking lot, buddy humping an irish setter, "SNOOP DOG - WHATS MY NAME" intro playing*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27475150)
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Date: March 12th, 2015 1:14 PM Author: seedy hairraiser location organic girlfriend
Of Counsel: "Buddy is up for PARTNER??? But he's barely been here a year!"
Rainmaker: "The executive committee counts in dog years."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27476372) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:06 PM Author: Umber gas station goal in life
*Biglaw Retriever carries papers in mouth, drops them at feet of bailiff*
*bailiff picks up papers and hands them to judge*
Judge: "Objection overruled, you may proceed, counselor."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27479335) |
Date: March 12th, 2015 10:33 PM Author: histrionic pearly queen of the night
*Buddy knocks over the flower vase in the lobby and he overeagerly greets new clients*
Associate chimes in, "Now that's what I call the spillable hour"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27479779) |
Date: March 13th, 2015 12:48 AM Author: Umber gas station goal in life
"I can't decide if we should strike Juror number 6 or number 24 with our remaining peremptory."
*shows Buddy photo of Juror No. 24*
*Buddy growls*
*shows Buddy photo of Mrs. Patterson, Juror No. 6*
*Buddy darts out of the courtroom*
*after a few minutes, Buddy comes back enthusiastically leading a beaming, elderly Mrs. Patterson into the jury box*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27480687) |
Date: March 13th, 2015 1:08 AM Author: Stubborn Garrison
Witness: I know that Mr. Howard was in on the deal because his neighbor Mrs. Adams told me she saw...
Buddy: *Barks sharply*
Judge: Objection sustained. Hearsay.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27480767) |
Date: March 14th, 2015 12:42 PM Author: Razzle-dazzle Brethren
We'd like to talk to you about your plans after you leave the firm. We've decided to bring in a new associate to take over your files.
http://imgur.com/1bWYub6
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27488047) |
Date: March 14th, 2015 2:40 PM Author: bronze shivering piazza cuck
"Associate Fido, we have a deadline tomorrow. I'm going to need you to do some digging into the caselaw tonight."
"R-ruff!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27488615) |
Date: March 25th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: Slippery Ladyboy Orchestra Pit
http://www.webvet.com/main/2012/05/28/3-dogs-college-degrees
It's hard enough for an intelligent, well-educated human to graduate law school -- let alone a dog. Yet Ellis, an 80-pound black lab, walked along with the New York Law School graduates in May of 2012 to receive his honorary degree from the school.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27553300) |
Date: April 2nd, 2015 11:13 PM Author: internet-worthy shrine
imagine the trailer for the sequel.
*Ja Rule's 'Living it Up' plays over a montage of wealth, success, magazine covers, etc. featuring Buddy*
Italian maître d at fancy restaurant: "Hey-ah, it's-a Buddy! So good you come-a to dinna, mama-mia!"
*paparazzi flash bulbs go off to recreation of spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp*
*scene switches to biglaw office full of associates drinking and cavorting with Buddy; splashing around in corner jacuzzi*
"Hey Buddy, the verdict is in! How much you think we won this time?"
*record needle screeches*
"We... LOST???"
*scene switches to rival firm's offices*
"Oh, what a CAT-astrophe for our little friend Buddy! Don't you think so... Fluffy?"
"Mrawgh!"
...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27607642) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: splenetic provocative pit
Midpoint of sequel:
The gorgeous blonde female associate, dressed in a skirted suit, enters a run-down bar. A smarmy first-year enters behind her, shows visible disgust at the bar's atmosphere. "Hepatitis central," he mutters. "I'll wait by the door."
But the female associate's not listening. She's heading toward a dark corner, where Buddy, tie loosened, looking disheveled, is sitting in hangdog fashion by a bowl and a half-filled bottle of scotch.
"Hi," she says softly. Buddy turns his head away from her.
"Let's go," the smarmy first-year calls from the door.
The female associate's eyes water slightly. Then her face turns hard in defiance. "The firm wanted me to come here and beg you to come back," she says. "But I won't. I won't beg. It's a trick I never learned, I guess. I know what they said about you. That all you had were 'tricks.' Well let me tell you something Buddy: those weren't tricks. What you did was some of the best damn lawyering this country's ever seen. But if you can't believe in yourself...well, I can't command you to. Anyway, goodbye, Buddy...Oh, and one more thing. Our next big case has just come in. The city's trying to tear down the Puppy Park on 3rd Avenue, apparently to make way for a new mosque. A shame you've given up on lawyering. We could have used you on this one..."
She turns and walks toward the bar. Buddy's head lifts and watches her.
"It's just a dog," the smarmy first-year says as she returns.
The female associate pauses, stares at him. "That dog was the sweetest, most sympathetic, most passionate lawyer I've ever met."
She brushes past, and the smarmy first-year gives a final look of disgust at the bar before leaving.
Buddy looks at his bowl of whiskey and stares into it. His own reflection shows, and slowly it fades into his younger, happier self.
Suddenly, with two barks, he's on his feet and running out the door.
The bartender, polishing a glass, smiles and nods. "Go get em, Buddy," he whispers.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27607760) |
Date: May 8th, 2015 2:21 PM Author: seedy hairraiser location organic girlfriend
HR: Good news Buddy, we added hearworm and flea meds to our health plan!
Buddy: *barks happily*
HR: We've also added spay and neuter coverage!
Buddy: *whimpers, tucks tail between his legs*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27849456) |
Date: January 12th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: hateful salmon rigpig
Maybe this movie can be a documentary?
http://www.gertsburglaw.com/about.html#alex
"Miles Davis Gertsburg
Miles Davis Gertsburg practices canine law. Hailing from tropical Cleveland, Ohio, and having graduated magna cum kibbles from the University of Wet-snout in Cambridge, Mr. Gertsburg is now the foremost expert in the United States on dog bite law, disputes between cats and dog, and disputes between humans about whether dogs are better than cats. As a dyed-in-the-fur litigator, Mr. Gertsburg advocates strongly for all clients, regardless of species."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#29583770) |
Date: December 25th, 2016 4:00 PM Author: bat shit crazy office reading party
BigLaw Bud part 2:
korean opposing counsel has a novel strategy to defeat Bud ... but it involves a fork and knife.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#32227674) |
Date: September 1st, 2017 12:43 AM Author: Offensive den
he made equity partner
https://i.imgur.com/HsIjrxd.jpg
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#34113484) |
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