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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/03/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Exciting University Roommate
  12/03/18
ty!
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Excitant stock car
  12/03/18
...
Vigorous elite plaza doctorate
  12/24/21
...
nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman
  12/03/18
...
bonkers boyish dopamine location
  12/03/18
...
Odious Gas Station Faggotry
  12/03/18
...
razzle idiotic dysfunction private investor
  12/03/18
...
Excitant stock car
  12/03/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/07/18
...
rusted buck-toothed heaven alpha
  12/07/18
...
vibrant twisted theater stage
  12/07/18
...
thriller telephone stead
  12/07/18
...
Razzle-dazzle walnut karate
  12/07/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/14/18
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fluffy lodge
  12/14/18
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Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/18
...
nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman
  12/24/18
...
Stubborn stimulating trailer park legend
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
khaki range
  12/24/18
120
Lime autistic deer antler
  12/24/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/18
...
Lime autistic deer antler
  12/24/18
...
180 wagecucks brunch
  12/24/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/18
...
Razzmatazz Talking New Version
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
irradiated selfie parlor
  12/24/18
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/16/21
...
galvanic office idiot
  12/24/18
...
Electric swollen school cafeteria reading party
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Vermilion bateful kitchen
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  07/01/19
...
nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman
  07/01/19
...
nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/10/19
getting close...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
...
impertinent duck-like station jew
  12/24/19
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
...
peach codepig lay
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
concupiscible amethyst menage
  12/24/19
...
Aphrodisiac pea-brained indian lodge multi-billionaire
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
irradiated selfie parlor
  12/24/19
lol
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
This
Vigorous elite plaza doctorate
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Trip snowy den fanboi
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
...
Sienna gaping crackhouse
  12/24/19
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Vigorous elite plaza doctorate
  12/24/19
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/19
...
marvelous apoplectic milk resort
  12/24/19
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/15/20
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/23/20
...
Disrespectful purple juggernaut business firm
  12/24/20
It's time.
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/24/20
...
vibrant twisted theater stage
  12/24/20
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/16/21
...
180 wagecucks brunch
  12/16/21
...
Disrespectful purple juggernaut business firm
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/20/21
Lmao
Abusive glassy parlour jewess
  12/20/21
...
Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king
  12/22/21
...
Abusive glassy parlour jewess
  12/22/21
...
Supple transparent point
  12/24/21
...
Vigorous elite plaza doctorate
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Exciting University Roommate

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Excitant stock car

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Vigorous elite plaza doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: bonkers boyish dopamine location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Odious Gas Station Faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: razzle idiotic dysfunction private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Excitant stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: rusted buck-toothed heaven alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: vibrant twisted theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: thriller telephone stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle walnut karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: fluffy lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Stubborn stimulating trailer park legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: khaki range

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Lime autistic deer antler

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Lime autistic deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: 180 wagecucks brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Razzmatazz Talking New Version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: irradiated selfie parlor

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: galvanic office idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Electric swollen school cafeteria reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Vermilion bateful kitchen

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: nighttime cheese-eating school patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: impertinent duck-like station jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: peach codepig lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: concupiscible amethyst menage

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac pea-brained indian lodge multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: irradiated selfie parlor

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Vigorous elite plaza doctorate

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Trip snowy den fanboi

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Sienna gaping crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Vigorous elite plaza doctorate

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: marvelous apoplectic milk resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Disrespectful purple juggernaut business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: vibrant twisted theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: 180 wagecucks brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Disrespectful purple juggernaut business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Abusive glassy parlour jewess

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Floppy Ticket Booth Philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Abusive glassy parlour jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Supple transparent point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Vigorous elite plaza doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538935)