"Nothing in the rules says a Golden Retriever can't do Biglaw!"
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| 03/12/15 | | Aqua Hateful Institution | 03/12/15 | | hilarious cuckoldry | 03/12/15 | | Hairraiser harsh rehab ratface | 01/12/16 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 12/10/21 | | useless stag film | 03/12/15 | | ruddy voyeur station | 03/12/15 | | useless stag film | 03/12/15 | | Poppy base | 03/12/15 | | godawful gay wizard address | 03/12/15 | | Swashbuckling spot | 03/12/15 | | Sooty Patrolman Brunch | 04/14/16 | | Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action | 03/12/15 | | onyx hospital | 03/12/15 | | Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action | 03/12/15 | | Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action | 03/12/15 | | Cordovan Adulterous Ape | 03/12/15 | | Rambunctious Soul-stirring Church | 10/13/18 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 02/18/22 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/22/22 | | Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action | 03/13/15 | | Umber Floppy Roast Beef | 03/13/15 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 03/14/15 | | Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action | 03/13/15 | | avocado people who are hurt | 03/14/15 | | spectacular startled queen of the night | 03/14/15 | | spectacular startled queen of the night | 03/14/15 | | titillating gaping | 03/15/15 | | Ocher Laughsome Theater Stage Hominid | 03/15/15 | | fantasy-prone primrose stock car | 03/15/15 | | Sienna wagecucks | 03/16/15 | | Cordovan Adulterous Ape | 03/25/15 | | useless stag film | 03/25/15 | | bateful headpube | 03/25/15 | | slate excitant fat ankles | 04/03/15 | | crystalline antidepressant drug dragon | 06/03/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 03/25/15 | | maroon boistinker | 03/25/15 | | arousing violent police squad | 03/25/15 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 04/02/15 | | slate excitant fat ankles | 04/03/15 | | exciting zippy main people | 04/02/15 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 04/02/15 | | titillating gaping | 04/02/15 | | Tantric lascivious plaza juggernaut | 04/02/15 | | mind-boggling school cafeteria | 04/03/15 | | Boyish menage | 04/03/15 | | Swashbuckling spot | 04/06/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death 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Death Wish | 05/08/15 | | learning disabled hideous dilemma | 08/27/15 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 04/14/16 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 12/06/21 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/10/21 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 10/12/25 | | Tantric lascivious plaza juggernaut | 04/27/15 | | razzmatazz space | 05/08/15 | | maniacal stubborn mad cow disease | 06/03/15 | | Tantric lascivious plaza juggernaut | 05/25/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 06/03/15 | | crystalline antidepressant drug dragon | 06/03/15 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 06/03/15 | | Vibrant Doctorate Forum | 06/03/15 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 06/10/15 | | motley marketing idea area | 07/27/16 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/22/22 | | titillating gaping | 06/10/15 | | 180 bespoke whorehouse famous landscape painting | 06/10/15 | | hilarious cuckoldry | 06/10/15 | | titillating gaping | 06/10/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 07/21/15 | | Tantric lascivious plaza juggernaut | 08/26/15 | | shivering business firm brethren | 08/26/15 | | adventurous low-t senate | 09/03/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 09/18/15 | | learning disabled hideous dilemma | 10/09/15 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 11/06/15 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 01/12/16 | | learning disabled hideous dilemma | 02/12/16 | | Supple nighttime public bath party of the first part | 03/12/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 03/20/16 | | Glittery cocky toaster | 03/20/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 04/10/16 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/10/21 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/21/22 | | Greedy coffee pot pervert | 04/14/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 04/17/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 04/17/16 | | carnelian aphrodisiac chapel | 05/11/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 05/26/16 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 05/26/16 | | learning disabled hideous dilemma | 07/15/16 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/10/21 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 07/08/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 07/26/16 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 07/27/16 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/10/21 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/22/22 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/22/22 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 08/30/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 10/09/16 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 10/09/16 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 10/09/16 | | Aromatic Sadistic Market | 10/09/16 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 10/13/16 | | Tan casino | 12/25/16 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/10/21 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/22/22 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 10/24/16 | | Passionate property | 10/27/16 | | carnelian aphrodisiac chapel | 12/18/16 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 12/25/16 | | Abode | 12/25/16 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 01/06/17 | | Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish | 01/25/17 | | gay haunting step-uncle's house codepig | 02/04/17 | | Shimmering pit personal credit line | 02/10/17 | | Idiotic disgusting lay | 02/10/17 | | concupiscible bat shit crazy site partner | 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medicated travel guidebook | 09/23/19 | | crawly depressive principal's office | 10/31/19 | | school | 10/31/19 | | underhanded really tough guy | 11/01/19 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 03/25/24 | | Wonderful Frum Psychic | 11/01/19 | | Wonderful Frum Psychic | 11/02/19 | | school | 11/02/19 | | Wonderful Frum Psychic | 11/02/19 | | Black box office mexican | 01/28/20 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 02/21/22 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 12/19/25 | | misunderstood sanctuary hissy fit | 02/09/21 | | nibblets field | 12/06/21 | | Rambunctious Soul-stirring Church | 12/06/21 | | Cheese-eating puppy | 12/06/21 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 03/02/22 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 10/05/22 | | big buff office sound barrier | 12/23/22 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 01/04/23 | | Alcoholic turdskin | 02/06/24 | | Tripping orchestra pit | 10/12/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:39 PM Author: charcoal theater stain
"We forgot to file this motion! We'll never make it to the courthouse by 5, not with this traffic! Unless....."
*partners cast a thoughtful eye toward Buddy*
*James Brown's I Feel Good plays as Buddy bursts out the front door of the building with his necktie collar flapping over his shoulder and the motion in his TumiDog briefcase backpack as he races down the sidewalk*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470787) |
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Date: March 11th, 2015 5:23 PM Author: Swashbuckling spot
*buddy rushes through the front door behind someone else right before the security guard flips the sign from "open" to "closed"*
*security guard gives chase as buddy runs up to the judge's office*
Judge: "this is an outrage! in all my years on the bench, i've never seen a dog in the court house! if i had my way i'd--"
Cute Legal Assistant who's also the GF of the biglaw associate that brought in buddy: "Sir, that dog is a licensed attorney. He has just as much of a right to be here as you or me."
*guard and judge exchange quizical glances*
*cute legal assistant removes motion from TumiDogPack, hands to judge*
*she gives buddy a kiss and tells him to be a good boy--slips letter to her associate boyfriend in the DogPAck*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471589) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Aromatic Sadistic Market
I'm imagining the set up as sort of a Mighty Ducks thing, where an asshole out of touch big lawyer winds up doing some community outreach event at an animal shelter. He winds up adopting the dog under pressure from either a dogloving ptr he wants to impress or a dog loving romantic interest. He's not a big fan of the dog but it loves him. So much so that, come Monday, it gets really distraught when the owner leaves and makes his way to the office...
Also tagline suggestions are welcome; my default will be " he's taking this case PRO Bone-o!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470814) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 3:51 PM Author: Hairraiser harsh rehab ratface
closing scene: buddy turns out to be girl dog, gives birth under desk of gruff managing partner who had been threatening to make the office a dog-free zone throughout the movie
MP is won over by puppies, "well, i guess our new litter of first years means we can cancel the summer program!" as all laugh and scene wipes to credits
edit: on second thought this would work better as a scene playing out as the credits roll
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470860) |
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Date: March 11th, 2015 4:49 PM Author: Hairraiser harsh rehab ratface
i was with it until i thought about what would happen when profits came in below projection in 3Q 2016
*MP on the phone on way to firm-sponsored caribbean retreat*
"i don't care if the no-kill shelter is closer and has space, you're to do as youre told"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471344) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:01 PM Author: marvelous vengeful temple liquid oxygen
So the reason I wanted to get everyone on the call is bec-
*bloop bloop bloop*
Is... Is someone SLEEP YIPPING on my conference call????
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470955) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:02 PM Author: useless stag film
All Partners, Of-Counsel and Associates,
There will be a liverwurst cake for Buddy in the breakroom at 3 p.m. It is his 5th anniversary with the firm. Please come and make sure to sign his card which is going around in inter-office mail.
Also, while I have your attention, people have been leaving paper plates and cups in the breakroom rather than throwing them away. Several legal administrators have complained. In the future, please throw your trash away or have your Associate do it.
Thanks,
Office Manager
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470960) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:03 PM Author: elite crackhouse
"What do you mean they won't settle!?!?! What kind of pitbull tactics are these?"
"Ummm... sir?"
"WHAT!?"
*silence*
"Golden retriever, actually."
*opening lick from Back in Black*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27470973) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:07 PM Author: useless stag film
All,
Jesus Fucking Christ. Who pissed on the copier this time?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471013) |
Date: March 11th, 2015 4:52 PM Author: learning disabled hideous dilemma
Announcer Voice: "all his life, Mike dreamed of being a lawyer"
*shot of clock, 6pm Friday. boomer partner busts down door and throws project on Mike's desk*
"But dreams aren't always what they're supposed to be..."
*cut to CGWBT alone at restaurant, forlorn, staring at phone. waiter passes by* "Dinner alone again, miss?"
*cut to phone buzzing in vibrate on Mike's desk. Texts pop up: "where r u????" "this is the last time u stand me up!!"*
*camera pans to Mike hunched over documents, red pen in hand, bleary eyed*
And now Mike's life has gone...to the dogs. *shot of Mike passed out on desk as sun rises in the window*
*music shifts to mischievous buddy comedy beat. alert pops up on outlook: New Associate arrives today. Mike awakened by knock on door*
"Yeah, come in!"
*door opens, no one is there. mike looks confused. camera moves forward past the desk to reveal Buddy, tail wagging, wearing a tie and carrying a briefcase in his mouth*
Announcer: This summer, Mike will discover that you're never to old to learn some new tricks.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27471367) |
Date: March 12th, 2015 8:09 AM Author: Crimson Potus
skadden partner at drafting session with CFO of gazprom
"yes ratmir if helpful let's do a page turn of the MD&A. buddy can u pass me the prosp..."
"hang on a sec...where is..."
*joe dirt style camera cuts to parking lot, buddy humping an irish setter, "SNOOP DOG - WHATS MY NAME" intro playing*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27475150)
|
Date: March 12th, 2015 1:14 PM Author: razzmatazz space
Of Counsel: "Buddy is up for PARTNER??? But he's barely been here a year!"
Rainmaker: "The executive committee counts in dog years."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27476372) |
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Date: March 12th, 2015 9:06 PM Author: Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action
*Biglaw Retriever carries papers in mouth, drops them at feet of bailiff*
*bailiff picks up papers and hands them to judge*
Judge: "Objection overruled, you may proceed, counselor."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27479335) |
Date: March 12th, 2015 10:33 PM Author: Cordovan Adulterous Ape
*Buddy knocks over the flower vase in the lobby and he overeagerly greets new clients*
Associate chimes in, "Now that's what I call the spillable hour"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27479779) |
Date: March 13th, 2015 12:48 AM Author: Racy chocolate kitchen affirmative action
"I can't decide if we should strike Juror number 6 or number 24 with our remaining peremptory."
*shows Buddy photo of Juror No. 24*
*Buddy growls*
*shows Buddy photo of Mrs. Patterson, Juror No. 6*
*Buddy darts out of the courtroom*
*after a few minutes, Buddy comes back enthusiastically leading a beaming, elderly Mrs. Patterson into the jury box*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27480687) |
Date: March 13th, 2015 1:08 AM Author: Umber Floppy Roast Beef
Witness: I know that Mr. Howard was in on the deal because his neighbor Mrs. Adams told me she saw...
Buddy: *Barks sharply*
Judge: Objection sustained. Hearsay.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27480767) |
Date: March 14th, 2015 12:42 PM Author: avocado people who are hurt
We'd like to talk to you about your plans after you leave the firm. We've decided to bring in a new associate to take over your files.
http://imgur.com/1bWYub6
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27488047) |
Date: March 14th, 2015 2:40 PM Author: spectacular startled queen of the night
"Associate Fido, we have a deadline tomorrow. I'm going to need you to do some digging into the caselaw tonight."
"R-ruff!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27488615) |
Date: March 25th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: arousing violent police squad
http://www.webvet.com/main/2012/05/28/3-dogs-college-degrees
It's hard enough for an intelligent, well-educated human to graduate law school -- let alone a dog. Yet Ellis, an 80-pound black lab, walked along with the New York Law School graduates in May of 2012 to receive his honorary degree from the school.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27553300) |
Date: April 2nd, 2015 11:13 PM Author: exciting zippy main people
imagine the trailer for the sequel.
*Ja Rule's 'Living it Up' plays over a montage of wealth, success, magazine covers, etc. featuring Buddy*
Italian maître d at fancy restaurant: "Hey-ah, it's-a Buddy! So good you come-a to dinna, mama-mia!"
*paparazzi flash bulbs go off to recreation of spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp*
*scene switches to biglaw office full of associates drinking and cavorting with Buddy; splashing around in corner jacuzzi*
"Hey Buddy, the verdict is in! How much you think we won this time?"
*record needle screeches*
"We... LOST???"
*scene switches to rival firm's offices*
"Oh, what a CAT-astrophe for our little friend Buddy! Don't you think so... Fluffy?"
"Mrawgh!"
...
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27607642) |
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Date: April 2nd, 2015 11:27 PM Author: Tantric lascivious plaza juggernaut
Midpoint of sequel:
The gorgeous blonde female associate, dressed in a skirted suit, enters a run-down bar. A smarmy first-year enters behind her, shows visible disgust at the bar's atmosphere. "Hepatitis central," he mutters. "I'll wait by the door."
But the female associate's not listening. She's heading toward a dark corner, where Buddy, tie loosened, looking disheveled, is sitting in hangdog fashion by a bowl and a half-filled bottle of scotch.
"Hi," she says softly. Buddy turns his head away from her.
"Let's go," the smarmy first-year calls from the door.
The female associate's eyes water slightly. Then her face turns hard in defiance. "The firm wanted me to come here and beg you to come back," she says. "But I won't. I won't beg. It's a trick I never learned, I guess. I know what they said about you. That all you had were 'tricks.' Well let me tell you something Buddy: those weren't tricks. What you did was some of the best damn lawyering this country's ever seen. But if you can't believe in yourself...well, I can't command you to. Anyway, goodbye, Buddy...Oh, and one more thing. Our next big case has just come in. The city's trying to tear down the Puppy Park on 3rd Avenue, apparently to make way for a new mosque. A shame you've given up on lawyering. We could have used you on this one..."
She turns and walks toward the bar. Buddy's head lifts and watches her.
"It's just a dog," the smarmy first-year says as she returns.
The female associate pauses, stares at him. "That dog was the sweetest, most sympathetic, most passionate lawyer I've ever met."
She brushes past, and the smarmy first-year gives a final look of disgust at the bar before leaving.
Buddy looks at his bowl of whiskey and stares into it. His own reflection shows, and slowly it fades into his younger, happier self.
Suddenly, with two barks, he's on his feet and running out the door.
The bartender, polishing a glass, smiles and nods. "Go get em, Buddy," he whispers.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27607760) |
Date: May 8th, 2015 2:21 PM Author: razzmatazz space
HR: Good news Buddy, we added hearworm and flea meds to our health plan!
Buddy: *barks happily*
HR: We've also added spay and neuter coverage!
Buddy: *whimpers, tucks tail between his legs*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#27849456) |
Date: January 12th, 2016 11:08 PM Author: Stirring Drab Indian Lodge Death Wish
Maybe this movie can be a documentary?
http://www.gertsburglaw.com/about.html#alex
"Miles Davis Gertsburg
Miles Davis Gertsburg practices canine law. Hailing from tropical Cleveland, Ohio, and having graduated magna cum kibbles from the University of Wet-snout in Cambridge, Mr. Gertsburg is now the foremost expert in the United States on dog bite law, disputes between cats and dog, and disputes between humans about whether dogs are better than cats. As a dyed-in-the-fur litigator, Mr. Gertsburg advocates strongly for all clients, regardless of species."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#29583770) |
Date: December 25th, 2016 4:00 PM Author: Abode
BigLaw Bud part 2:
korean opposing counsel has a novel strategy to defeat Bud ... but it involves a fork and knife.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#32227674) |
Date: September 1st, 2017 12:43 AM Author: Translucent meetinghouse cuckold
he made equity partner
https://i.imgur.com/HsIjrxd.jpg
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2827574&forum_id=2,#34113484) |
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