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a line from Evan39 the Musical: "How dare you." *audience cheers*
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 7th, 2016 7:11 PM Author: Stubborn fluffy water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30647970) |
Date: June 7th, 2016 7:14 PM Author: frozen ratface the cast echoes it as a hushed chant, while Evan paces in the spot light:
how dare you how dare you how dare you how dare you
Evan: 'They think I'm flame? They think I'm boom'
the chant grows louder:
HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU
Evan breaks into song |
 |
Date: June 7th, 2016 7:14 PM Author: Stubborn fluffy water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30648002) |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:20 PM Author: frozen ratface foreboding Sturm and Drang music plays to accompany the Boooomm character/doppleganger, represented by a booming voice from off stage, speaking in disjointed aphorisms. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30648053) |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:24 PM Author: Stubborn fluffy water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30648084) |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:28 PM Author: frozen ratface spotlight flashes back on Evan:
"Oh Boooomm, you're not meeee Oh, please please pleeeeease Get out of my heaaaad"
Chorus:
"Get of out of his heaaaaad" |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:40 PM Author: frozen ratface Final scene: The actor playing Evan, now a smartly dressed lawyer, is awakened from a nap at his desk by a mail room employee dressed like a 30s era newsboy.
Mail Boy: Gee, fella, you sure were under deep. Hoo boy. Here's the afternoon deliveries.
'Evan': Was it all--just a dream? Then that means, I dreamt them all: Ass Faggot, and Boner Police; Fulano and Drunkard? And... and.. Chad, my Chad. It means I dreamt him too. |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:41 PM Author: Stubborn fluffy water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30648258) |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 7:50 PM Author: frozen ratface A strapping, studly junior associate pops his head into 'Evan's' office.
Jr Associate: "Hey Mort, the clients are ready for you in the conference room. Oh, and your secretary told me to tell you that your wife called earlier."
'Evan'/Mort (visibly blushing): "Oh, err... Thanks Cha---I mean Chris. Tell 'em I'll be there in a sec. The conference room on 40?"
Chris: "Oh, no sorry about that. On 39." |
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Date: June 7th, 2016 8:00 PM Author: frozen ratface In a scene in the grocery store, all other aisles but the one Evan is stocking go dark, and Evan stands up from his stool still holding a jar of Mayo in one hand. A chipper little piano number starts to play:
"I hate every Jew I see Every globalist ashkenazi... |
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To the insider trading tech 'genius'
A Hideous raaaaaaaace
With an ugly faaaaaaaace *holds mirror pointing at own head*
...damn im ugly |
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Date: June 8th, 2016 10:15 AM Author: Flushed soggy shrine evan checks the mail at the grocery store to see that he has been accepted to harvard law--he pushes down his mop, turns his frown upside down, takes off his smock, and breaks into a rendition of the mary tyler moore theme--"i'm gonna maek it after all!--as several retarded frat boys with oafishly large penises carry him away on their shoulders. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3246713&forum_id=2:#30651938) |
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Who said 35 was too old to make it? Cleaning the supermarket, smile and take it Am I too old to succeed in sport? My plans for law school, should I abort?
Chorus:
I'm evan39 I'll study today I'm a faggot, incredibly gay Maybe I'll conduct the train for Trump I hope that Chad will stick it in my rump
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*standing ovation as curtain falls* |
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Date: September 5th, 2016 11:01 PM Author: Vivacious kitchen boiling water PART OF THAT FIRM
Music and Lyrics by AVNER GELBAUM and SAUL POLJEWSKI
©2017 Geffen Records
I wanna be... where the lawyers are
I wanna see, wanna see 'em billing
Typing' away at those - what do ya' call 'em? - oh, 'briefs'
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Filin' a suit for some - what's that word again? - 'relief'
Up where they type,
Up where they cite,
Up where they stay awake through the night,
Biglaw's for me; wish I could be...
Part of... that... firm... |
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note - this was not part of the musical. evan is later detained for hate crimes by hillary's DOJ. |
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Date: June 25th, 2022 10:20 AM Author: Pearly Rehab (With many dreadful facts of their behavioral pathologies; With many dreadful facts of their behavioral pathologies... Chad: With many dreadful facts of their behavioral pathologies) Evan:
I can tell you ev'ry trait that marks a yellow or a Jew- I know the methods systems and the organization too- Of the great eugenicists who all these facts have known- And I will cite for you the works of Reisman, Chandler, and Coon! Chad:
Reisman, Chandler, and Coon! Evan:
So ev'ry time some liberal says that we can all get along- I know that he is lying, and I tell him how dare he! Chorus + Evan: How dare you!
evan39 (to Chad): You're so beautiful-- Chad: Evan, we've been through this-- Evan39: --I know, I know, but I can't help how I feel-- Chad: --I'm just not interested-- Evan39: --I know, I know, but maybe if you got to know me-- Chad: --I don't think so, Evan-- Evan39: --Please, Chad, just give me a chance-- Chad: --No, Evan, I'm sorry-- Evan39: --How dare you.
...
Chorus: I'm evan39 I'll study today I'm homosexual, ok? incredibly gay SCENE (with Evan39's MANAGER and his friend the ATTORNEY): evan39: so what do you think? MANAGER: I don't know, it sounds kind of crazy. ATTORNEY: I think it's a terrible idea. evan39: Why? Why can't I be one of the billers? Why do I have to be a ham and egger, coming home every day reeking of lanolin and broken dreams? MANAGER:
I don't know, it just seems like a lot of work for something that might not even work out. ATTORNEY:
And it's not like you're even that good at writing. Evan39:
What do you mean? I'm a great writer! ATTORNEY:
No, you're not. You're just a hack. Evan39: What about my parody article? Didn't I make you click? Didn't you click, chad? *EVAN LOOKS AT CHAD IMPLORINGLY* Chad:
No...I didn't click. Evan39:
HDY. |
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Date: October 30th, 2017 1:26 PM Author: Territorial selfie General Manager Javert: Now Evan39, your shift is up and your night's begun. You know what that means?
Evan39: Yes, it means I'm free.
General Manager Javert: No. Follow to the letter your employment schedule, this name badge of shame you wear until you die. It warns that you're a prole man.
Evan39: I stole a loaf of bread. It was nearly expired and Chad required --
General Manager Javert: And you will demoted again unless you learn the meaning of the Safeway policy!
Evan39: I've learnt the meaning of those nineteen years; a slave of the store!
General Manager Javert: Five years as a teen! The rest because you majored in Liberal Arts, Employee 39!
Evan39: My name is Evan39!
General Manager Javert: And I'm Javert! Do not forget my name. Do not forget me, Employee 39.
*lights dim* *Evan39 moves to center of the stage, locks eyes with audience*
Evan39 (whispering): "How... dare... you."
*curtain closes for end of Act 1* |
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