Had humiliating "annual review" at work (evan39)
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Poast new message in this thread
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Date: June 28th, 2025 11:42 PM Author: Misanthropic godawful tattoo
They said it was just a review, friend.
“Just pull up the metrics,” they said. “Talk through the KPIs.”
But I knew. I knew when she summoned me.
Tabitha.
Obese. Radiant. HR-Certified™.
Her Big Gulp-Warhammer shimmered under the flickering LED light of the breakroom annex as she waved me into the back office. Her eyelids twitched in asynchronous judgment. Her phone buzzed. She never looked at it. The Mahchine™ had already logged the outcome.
“Evan,” she oozed, “your Club Card conversion rate is stagnant. We noticed you’ve only enrolled 2.4 guests per shift. Why is that?”
I opened my mouth, but she raised her Warhammer.
“Shhh. It’s not about the proles, Evan. It’s about your pep.”
Then came the slide deck.
Basket Builders™, the sacred scrolls of value stacking.
Slide 7 featured a digital rendering of me—mid-aisle, blinking—flanked by cartoon dollar signs. Caption:
“Empower Guest Choice Through Suggestive Snacking.”
“Is this... a deepfake?” I whispered.
Tabitha cackled. “No, Evan. It’s your future. If you can’t move the merch, you’ll be moved.”
After the fourth survey audit, I found the note. Folded neatly under the keyboard, written in crayon:
$hredding won’t save you ;) — T.
Yes, friends. I nodded.
This wasn’t a review. It was a compliance ritual.
A Mahchine™ liturgy.
And I was the wafer.
[Link to digital onboarding portal disabled for mental health reasons.]
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2],#49057320) |
Date: June 28th, 2025 9:17 PM Author: deranged theater masturbator
the flame continues
you think prole bosses care this much to have Office Space annual reviews for minimum wage cashiers? how would our sub-literate Nig/Spic workforce put up with this
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2],#49057044) |
Date: June 29th, 2025 12:21 AM Author: bright foreskin
"I want a basket, but it has nothing to do with a supermarket, believe me."
?
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5744233&forum_id=2],#49057371) |
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