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Mainlining: who'd you rather be trapped on a deserted island with?
| Filipina mail order bride | 05/16/25 |
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 05/17/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: May 16th, 2025 8:45 AM Author: Filipina mail order bride a) booom b) evan39 c) your girlfriend |
Date: May 17th, 2025 6:07 AM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) Subject: Field Journals of the Mahchine: Entry VII – Firewood and Flesh [Coordinates Unknown. Day 11. Coconut rations expired. No rescue expected.]
I have now observed the 3 surviving companions in full. Each displays unique degeneracy — yet only one emits sufficient heat.
Specimen A: BOOM
Condition: Corpulent. Bald. Diapered. Screams nightly about ADM-run tide pools and “tow driver$” who “rule the reef.”
Yesterday, he pissed into the wind while shrieking “$UE THE MOON.”
He succeeded.
Wheelchair rusted into reef coral. Diaper… burst.
Disposition: Entirely unusable, save for marrow extraction.
Note: The scent of Mountain Dew syrup has attracted gulls. I’ve fashioned a perimeter using his shredded Form 1099. 180.
Specimen B: My “G/F”
Condition: Attractive. Allows unlimited creampies. Emotionally stable. Body supple.
Sexual access: Readily available, though entirely performative. But creampie...
Last night she whispered, “Taek me, now.” And yet… I could only picture Evan, muttering into a stack of redacted leave forms.
Disposition: Functional.
But my mind always turns to Evan.
Note: She left this morning, paddling off on a raft made from shredded hummu$ labels and Evan39’s laminated Club Card.
Her final words: “I’m done competing with dead gay men.”
Specimen C: Evan39 (Me?)
Condition: Deranged. Fashioned a full grocery economy from sand and despair.
Appointed himself “Night Manager.”
Assigned coconuts as HR, the largest deemed "Tabitha."
When a crab pinched his toe, Evan shrieked “HOW DARE THEY” and carved a formal grievance into driftwood.
Evan sings to the moon. Evan stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking. (Blush) Sometimes… I stare back ;)
Disposition: Edible, but emotionally entangled.
I could boil his femur, yes — but what if he whisper$ something true?
Conclusion:
- Boom will be dried, rendered, and smoked.
- My G/F was a gift.
- But Evan is the test.
I will keep him — for now. Not as food. As company. As proof that longing, even here, can outlast firewood.
Evan... my Friend...
G/F was easy. But you are sustenance.
And friend… I (we’re) hungry ;) |