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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
contagious place of business
  04/24/15
...
sickened locus
  04/24/15
...
Adventurous purple national security agency therapy
  04/24/15
...
Bearded associate wagecucks
  04/24/15
did this today
gay dysfunction
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
frisky trump supporter
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
exhilarant yapping rigor
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
vivacious dopamine
  10/22/15
...
Balding deranged field internal respiration
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Titillating Partner Lettuce
  10/22/15
...
contagious place of business
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
garnet heaven
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
contagious place of business
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
garnet heaven
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
contagious place of business
  05/16/16
...
irradiated church faggot firefighter
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Obsidian cuck
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Jade crackhouse incel
  12/28/16
...
irradiated church faggot firefighter
  11/11/20
...
nofapping bat shit crazy filthpig cruise ship
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: contagious place of business

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: sickened locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Adventurous purple national security agency therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Bearded associate wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: gay dysfunction

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022119)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: frisky trump supporter

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: exhilarant yapping rigor

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: vivacious dopamine

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: Balding deranged field internal respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022646)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#49335488)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Titillating Partner Lettuce

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: contagious place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: garnet heaven

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#30492585)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: contagious place of business

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#30492630)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: garnet heaven

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#30492644)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: contagious place of business

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#30492706)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: irradiated church faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#32250208)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Obsidian cuck

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#32250216)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Jade crackhouse incel

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#32250229)



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Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: irradiated church faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: nofapping bat shit crazy filthpig cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2],#49335487)