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"Rudy" reimagined as a tale about BIGLAW

"Ready?" "Let's go." "I'm sick of...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
180
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
...
yellow galvanic brunch
  09/02/16
...
Mildly autistic high-end turdskin
  09/02/16
180 Junior about to quit when a MFH janitor grabs him by ...
Thriller space
  09/02/16
...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
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Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office
  09/02/16
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henna native
  09/02/16
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Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
Thriller space
  09/26/16
"Whoa, wait! Where are you going?" "I'm g...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
...
Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
Transparent Pit
  09/07/16
...
Honey-headed sound barrier trump supporter
  09/07/16
180. Chance to be an all time thread.
Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
I laughed, I cried, I got back to work
Zombie-like Theater Stage Gaping
  09/02/16
"Does he think I'm lying to him?" "Nobody sa...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
...
Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse
  09/02/16
...
motley well-lubricated wrinkle house
  09/13/16
"What are you doing, huh?" "Break it up!&q...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
...
Fragrant athletic conference church
  09/18/17
...
hairless pearly karate goal in life
  09/02/16
"Hey, Jim." "Your bullshit on this deal ma...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/02/16
...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/02/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/07/16
http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2935486&mc=80&am...
Honey-headed sound barrier trump supporter
  09/07/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/07/16
...
Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse
  09/07/16
Somebody sold him on the idea he ought to go to law school a...
Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office
  09/07/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/07/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/13/16
...
Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/23/16
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Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office
  11/27/16
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Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  04/04/17
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Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  08/29/17
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Costumed Institution Police Squad
  08/29/17
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Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/15/17
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Costumed Institution Police Squad
  09/18/17
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Adventurous Associate
  09/18/17
*Fordham Law Review members stretching in the sun as it rise...
Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza
  09/18/17
...
Fragrant athletic conference church
  09/18/17
...
Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza
  09/18/17
...
Outnumbered Gaped Codepig
  09/18/17
...
Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza
  09/20/17
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Fragrant athletic conference church
  09/18/17
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Comical sanctuary
  09/18/17
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Fragrant athletic conference church
  09/18/17
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Gay Mediation State
  12/15/17
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garnet indian lodge
  09/01/22
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garnet indian lodge
  08/26/25
...
lfo
  08/16/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:23 AM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig

"Ready?"

"Let's go."

"I'm sick of being all time bailiff."

"What?"

"I'm sick of being all time bailiff."

"Rudy, I told you five times, you can't play anything else but that, you're too small."

"I can too."

"You guys, I'm going, I'm sorry, let Rudy play in place."

"Fine, Rudy you second chair this moot."

---

"Mr. Ruettiger?"

"Yeah, Pete?"

"At the first recess, could we watch some of the People's Court?"

"There's only one team of attorneys we watch in this house, right?"

"Right."

---

"Take a knee, guys. Listen up. You seniors, this is your last moot. And with the exception of Steinberg, Silver, Fischel, Yaffe, tomorrow morning will be the last time you put on a suit and tie and walk into a courtroom. You know these last four years have gone by too fast. They always do."

---

"Okay, Mr. Rudy. Here's the deal. Suffolk Law is nearby. I can get you one semester there. You make grades, you get another semester. Maybe with a good GPA, you might have a chance of getting into Harvard."

---

"Your John Quinn bullshit out there makes us all look bad, so dial it down a notch."

---

"I want Rudy to take this dep in my place. He deserves it."

"Don't be ridiculous. This expert from Georgia Tech is one of the top chemists in the country. You're a share partner and a Chambers Leading Lawyer, act like it."

"I believe I am, sir."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321249)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:25 AM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321259)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:26 AM
Author: yellow galvanic brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321269)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:26 AM
Author: Mildly autistic high-end turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321271)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:29 AM
Author: Thriller space

180

Junior about to quit when a MFH janitor grabs him by the lapel outside the partner's door:

"You're five foot nothin, a hundred and nothin, and you barely have a speck of legal writing ability. And you hung in there with the best scholars in the land for three years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a totebag. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321286)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:31 AM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321298)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 12:51 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321826)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 12:54 PM
Author: henna native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321844)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:07 PM
Author: Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321901)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 26th, 2016 11:40 AM
Author: Thriller space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31493530)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:36 AM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad

"Whoa, wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to the summer associate recruiting event at Davis Polk."

"Do you have some friends at Davis Polk?"

"No."

"Then there must be some other reason."

"When you announced it in class, I thought anybody could go."

"I'm sorry. This bus is for students who want to be summer associates at Davis Polk. It's not a sightseeing tour."

"Maybe someday I'll work there."

"Professor Goldberg, take over for me."

"Of course."

"Rudy...you don't have the grades for the Vault 100, much less the Vault 5. The secret to happiness in this life is to be grateful for the shitlaw firms that will recruit you. Rudy...not everyone is meant to work in BIGLAW."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321323)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 11:40 AM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321350)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:07 PM
Author: Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321903)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:53 PM
Author: Transparent Pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31356875)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:04 PM
Author: Honey-headed sound barrier trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31357443)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:06 PM
Author: Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse

180. Chance to be an all time thread.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321899)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:05 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322649)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 1:18 PM
Author: Zombie-like Theater Stage Gaping

I laughed, I cried, I got back to work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31321957)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:14 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig

"Does he think I'm lying to him?"

"Nobody said anything about lying."

"I have to get pictures taken of me doing doc review to prove I'm at the firm?"

"I believe you."

"What happened to my gut? And my hair? Where did I get these?"

"So you're a glorified paralegal."

"Oh you just don't get it."

"If you are at that firm, then my opinion of Skadden has just hit the shits."

"Leave him alone."

"I come in in a suit, I sit in with partners, you just don't understand."

"Actually, it's simple. Every Monday when I log onto PACER, we see Skadden attorneys filing motions and briefs. We just don't see you."

"You will."

"What?"

"You will."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322345)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:36 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322469)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:49 PM
Author: Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31323025)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2016 1:35 PM
Author: motley well-lubricated wrinkle house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31397789)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:44 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad

"What are you doing, huh?"

"Break it up!"

"Get off me!"

"Come on, Ruettiger!"

"Break it up, I said. And cool down."

"You brown-nosed suck-ass! You suck ass!"

"What's your problem, O'Hare?"

"Last day of the summer associate program and this asshole thinks we're closing the Facebook IPO."

"You just summed up your entire sorry career here in one sentence! If you had a tenth of Ruettiger's heart, you'd have made Partner. As it is, you just went from Counsel to Of Counsel. Go on, get out of here. Get me another Counsel."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322523)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:49 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322555)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:20 PM
Author: Fragrant athletic conference church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238265)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:52 PM
Author: hairless pearly karate goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322575)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 2:56 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad

"Hey, Jim."

"Your bullshit on this deal makes us look bad, so dial it down a notch."

"Dial it down?"

"Everybody's sick and tired of hearing, 'Bill more like Ruettiger.' What do you get out of working until 3am every night, and canceling vacations? It's not worth it, you know? You gotta bring in at least one major client to officially be part of the equity partnership. The only client you'll bring in is some shitty start-up."

"If you hate it so much, why don't you just quit?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"If I quit, my father won't help pay the rent for my 2br on the Highline."

"Is that why you're here?"

"I suppose I'm under the delusion that one day I might land that major client and get a chance to run out that conference room as an equity partner."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322605)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 2nd, 2016 3:38 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31322934)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:49 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31356845)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:50 PM
Author: Honey-headed sound barrier trump supporter

http://xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2935486&mc=80&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31356854)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 9:52 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31356868)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:11 PM
Author: Submissive Indirect Expression Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31357487)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:42 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office

Somebody sold him on the idea he ought to go to law school and become a lawyer.

Well he goes to Georgetown, you know, a prestigious law center, and gets his JD.

Within 5 months of graduation he's been Lathamed and is reviewing documents in a Cravath basement.

It was ITE.

Couldn't sell his degree. There was no work. So one day he took off.

My brothers and me, we split up to live with friends and family.

Chasing a stupid dream causes nothing but you and everyone around you heartache.

Biglaw is for rich kids. Smart kids. Brilliant scholars.

It's not for us. You're a Ruettiger.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31357706)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 7th, 2016 11:43 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31357718)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 13th, 2016 1:29 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31397733)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 23rd, 2016 2:10 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#31474992)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 27th, 2016 2:27 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone Roommate Box Office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#32001413)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 4th, 2017 12:03 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#32990274)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2017 9:59 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34097288)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 29th, 2017 10:07 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34097377)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 15th, 2017 1:48 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34218370)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 4:46 PM
Author: Costumed Institution Police Squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34237601)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:16 PM
Author: Adventurous Associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238232)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:28 PM
Author: Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza

*Fordham Law Review members stretching in the sun as it rises above 1 WTC*

Partner, Atty. Cohen: [addressing Fordham Law Review members at Fordham's OCI]

Let me tell it to you as clean as I can. We have 95 summer associate positions at Skadden, sure accomplished in law school, we gave them 12 weeks of legal work and social activities at the best law firm in the country. The managing partners allow us to keep only 60 for the New York office, which means at least 35 *top 14 law students* are gonna be stuck in DC chasing shitlib non-profit shrews, or in SF going after "49ers" every day. So if any of you has any fantasies of walking out into the subway tunnel, never seeing the sun, with your messenger bag facing outward and Skadden logo printed on the front, you best leave them right here. Of you 15 Law Review members maybe we'll keep one or two. My job is basically to work the shit out of you for the next 12 weeks, and whomever is still standing at the end, maybe we'll use for doc review. You'll be cite checking our briefs week in and out. The greatest value to the client, (and believe me we add value) if they don't care how much you bill. It's written off. Our senior associates are going to drop files on you like you're a first year M&A associate. Like what you hear so far? Any of you wanna run to NYU for that tax LL.M? Now's your chance.

No? Steinberg. They're all yours.

Well don't just stand there trying to think, let's hit those documents. Review! Review! Go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n88hXH6_-AU

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238314)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:33 PM
Author: Fragrant athletic conference church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238346)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 6:39 PM
Author: Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238384)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 10:48 PM
Author: Outnumbered Gaped Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34240170)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 20th, 2017 1:16 PM
Author: Very tactful umber international law enforcement agency plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34251026)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 7:45 PM
Author: Fragrant athletic conference church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238769)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 8:06 PM
Author: Comical sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34238875)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2017 9:55 PM
Author: Fragrant athletic conference church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34239734)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2017 8:11 AM
Author: Gay Mediation State



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#34925572)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 1st, 2022 10:10 PM
Author: garnet indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#45107231)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 26th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: garnet indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#49214836)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 16th, 2026 6:35 PM
Author: lfo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3339505&forum_id=2],#50071945)